


Adoria in Origins

by Loves_to_read



Series: Adoria's Escapades Through Thedas [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age Origins
Genre: Character is a nurse, Doesn't know anything about Dragon Age, F/M, First FanFic please be nice, Kind of edited, Magic Negating, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Modern Music, Not Beta Read, Part one of three, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Past Child Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Rated For Violence, Self Confidence Issues, Unrequited Love, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:27:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 60,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loves_to_read/pseuds/Loves_to_read
Summary: Waking up and not knowing where you are is one thing. Waking up and not knowing what world you are in is an entirely different thing.For Adoria, adjusting to the world of Thedas is something she struggles with. From racism to magic, she adapts as best she can to her new world while trying to figure out how she got there in the first place and how to get back. While traveling with the Hero of Ferledan, she finds friends, family, love, and heartbreak.And then there is the whole negating magic thing.***So...updates with be sporodic but this story will be finished eventually. This story will follow the main quests for the most part. Because this story will span all three games, I have broken it into three parts for conviance: Origins, Kirkwall, and Inqusition.Now on to the offical stuff.I do not, nor claim to, own anything except for my character Adoria. All credit goes to the creators of the game.
Relationships: Alistair & Female Warden (Dragon Age), Alistair (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s), Alistair/Female Warden (Dragon Age)
Series: Adoria's Escapades Through Thedas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098938
Comments: 43
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not, nor claim to, own anything except for my character Adoria. All credit goes to the creators of the game.

I stared at the crystal blue sky in confusion. How did I get outside? I had fallen asleep in my house. I blinked rapidly as I looked around, still lying on the cold ground.

There was a forest a few feet away from me and I could hear the sound of birds twittering and leaves crunching under the weight of forest animals. On the other side of me was a strange-looking stone road of sorts. It was raised off the ground by several feet and had arches spaced out at even intervals.

It wasn’t the strange road or even the pain that was radiating through my back that caused me to jump to my feet in a panic. It was the group of three people and a dog that stood several feet away from me, looking at me in confusion.

I didn’t know why they were looking at me strangely. I was dressed in leggings, a tank top, a loose t-shirt and hiking boots. I was dressed normally and not in armor that looked like it weighed as much as I did.

“Who are you?” a woman with piercing blue eyes and short blonde hair asked, stepping forward from the group.

“My name is Adoria. Who are you? Where am I?” I asked, backing away slightly as the woman continued her approach, the dog trailing behind her.

“Calm down, we will not harm you.” The woman put her hands up in a placating manner. “My name is Elissa Coulsand and this is Ash.”

“That is Alistair,” she pointed over her shoulder to a man with strawberry blond hair with hazel eyes. Then she pointed to another woman with dark hair and a standoff-ish attitude, “And that is Morrigan. You are in Ferelden.”

“Where is that?” I asked, my breaths starting to come in harsh pants.

“East of Orlais, south of the Free Marches,” Elissa walked closer. “Where do you live?”

“I-I,” I stumbled over my words as I flopped to the ground, “I don’t know.”

“Come on,” the woman held out her hand, “let’s get you somewhere warm.”

I glanced from the woman’s face to the hand she offered before reaching out and taking it. The woman pulled me up and smiled softly at me before leading me towards the road.

* * *

I nibbled on the bread they gave me when we sat down in the tavern. I was still shaking from the fight we had before we entered the village Alistair had informed me was called Lothering.

Apparently, the group of men we had come across were highwaymen and they refused to leave without a fight. So, a fight was what they got. But, to be honest, the thing that threw me off the most was the sight of Morrigan throwing fireballs at the people.

The smell of burnt flesh and singed hair was still stuck in my nose and it turned my stomach to the point where I feared that I would lose what little I had eaten.

At first, I had assumed these people were reenacting something from the Renaissance or the like, but now?

Between the fact that people could shoot fire from their hands and freeze people with a thought, to the run-down village and people who walked around with fear clinging to them, I was quickly coming to the conclusion that I wasn't home anymore.

And then there was the fact that elves and dwarves were an actual thing here. When we had walked past a family of elves, I had to make a conscious effort not to stare at their ears. It was strange for sure. Any stories that I had heard depicted elves as these tall, elegant, powerful beings.

Here, however, I found out that the other races here were treated terribly and with mistrust as if they were lesser beings. I had actually overheard someone calling an elf a rabbit. I flicked the man off and childishly stuck my tongue out at him. Racism made me absolutely sick.

“How old are you, Adoria?” Elissa asked as she sat down across from me, snapping me from my morose thoughts.

“Eighteen.”

“Do you know who your parents are?”

“No...I don’t even know their names.” I frowned as I answered. According to the people at the orphanage back home, I had been dropped off on their front doorstep without a notion as to who I was.

“Do you know where your home is?”

“No. I don’t even know where I am.”

While Elissa fell silent, I continued eating on the loaf of bread. The smell of alcohol and hearty food that wafted around the tavern was a bit overwhelming and I wanted to escape out of the front door to get some fresh air.

I was unable to do so, however, because Elissa asked another question, “Do you have any skills?”

“Um…,” I paused, trying to think of what I should tell her. I was playing the memory loss card as best as I could so I made a show of trying to think. “I think I can use a bow...and I think I’m a decent cook. And...healing, I think.”

I didn’t tell them about having a black belt in both karate and Japanese jiu-jitsu. They probably wouldn’t know what I was talking about and it would raise questions that I couldn’t answer.

“We could use another ranged fighter. Why not let her come with us? ” Alistair asked from where he was munching on his third bowl of stew.

“Could I, please?” I begged. I didn’t know anyone else and these people were nice enough to buy me food and lead me to safety. “I won’t be in the way and I’ll carry my weight. I promise you won’t even know I’m there-”

“Okay, okay. Calm down.” Elissa smiled. “First, I want to see what you can do with a bow. There is a group of wolves just outside the village that need to be taken care of. We’ll meet outside the tavern at dawn.”

“Thank you, so much,” I sighed in relief before getting up to go find the spot the owner of the tavern gave me to sleep. It was on the floor in one of the back rooms but it was better than nothing. I also at least had a blanket.

There were several other people piled into the room as well so it was warmer than what it normally would have been, thankfully. After folding the blanket to make a pallet on the floor, I curled up on my side and rested my head on my arm.

I’m not in Kansas anymore, that's for sure.

Sleep definitely didn’t come easily that night.

* * *

That morning, I sat outside on a fence as I waited for everybody else. A thick fog rolled across the fields as the sun peeked over the horizon.

I sighed in content as the first rays warmed my face and painted the sky purple and orange. I had always felt a sense of peace watching the sun rise and I hoped that all of these people were able to say the same.

“Here you are,” Elissa stepped in front of me and dropped a bow and quiver into my lap.

“Thank you.” I had learned to shoot using a compound bow but when I had wanted more of a challenge I had switched to a traditional bow. Never, in my lifetime or the next, would I have thought that these skills would have come in handy for anything other than competitions.

I adjusted the quiver so it rested against my back and checked over the bowstring while following after Elissa. We exited the village and trekked through the open fields, the fog severely limiting our range of view so we walked close to each other.

The sound of heavy panting brought us to a stop. I scanned the surrounding patches of fog, looking for shadows while knocking an arrow. With snapping teeth and angry growls, the once still forms in the fog lunged forwards.

I ducked under one wolf, turned around, and released the arrow. It embedded itself in the wolf’s throat and it crashed to the ground, panting heavily before it stopped moving. I watched in fascination and mild horror as Morrigan froze two wolves that were ganging up on her before shattering them with her staff.

It bothered me, watching as a living creature that was in motion was frozen to the point that enough force was able to shatter it into pieces. There was no blood when the creatures fell apart, just chunks of ice, and I hoped that the poor creatures were dead before they had been broken into bits.

I was able to kill one more wolf before Elissa and Alistair finished off the rest.

When everything was done and over with, I asked for a knife, which Alistair provided, and went about skinning the animals.

The pelts should fetch a decent price or even be traded for supplies that the refugees desperately needed.

“Well,” Elissa smiled down at me, “if you’re still interested, we’d be more than happy to have you along.”

I smiled up at the woman and nodded my head in thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed before we were ready to leave the village. Between helping some farmers and getting a gray skinned man, named Sten, out of a cage that he couldn’t even sit down in, it was a very busy week for Elissa.

I, however, was not helping Elissa. Instead, I had asked Elder Miriam, a woman who was looking after the sick and injured, if I could help her.

She agreed readily enough and I had set more bones than I could count, cleaned more wounds than I could remember and held the hands of the dying so they wouldn’t be alone. Every now and again I would sing to some to help ease their pain.

While I was only eighteen, I had graduated high school at thirteen and enlisted in college for a nursing degree as soon as I could get approval. I had just graduated with a bachelor's degree a few months before I went dimension-hopping. At least, now, the skills I learned would be put to more use.

“Adoria!” Leliana, a red-haired archer that joined the group a few days ago, called out. She was very kind to me. When I had mentioned that I couldn’t read or write she jumped at the chance to help me. That was something else that had bothered me when we first arrived at the village. I had stared at the sign hanging over the tavern, hoping that the words would rearrange themselves to make sense. But, I’m not Percy Jackson and those characters weren’t Greek.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked, smiling kindly at me. There was a sharp intelligence behind her blue eyes that said she noticed every detail about anything and everything. It wasn’t as unnerving as it was when I first met her and she had become a fast friend.

“Just about. I want to go say goodbye to Elder Miriam before we leave.”

“I’m right here, child.” I turned to face the old woman who had quickly become a grandmother figure to me. “Here, for all of your help.”

“Elder, you didn’t have to. Thank you.” I smiled happily as I accepted the sack she held out to me. I opened it to peek inside and found several sprigs of elfroot -a root used for healing and pain relief- and a book as thick as my hand was long. “What’s this?”

“A family heirloom. No, no. Keep it,” the Elder pushed the sack back into my hands when I tried to give it back. “I have no children to pass it to any more. It will help you learn everything that I couldn’t teach you.”

“Thank you.” I hugged the frail old woman before trailing after Leliana.

“The others went ahead. We’ll catch up with them on the Imperial Highway,” Leliana informed me, walking with a grace that most dancers couldn’t achieve.

We met up with them sooner than we had assumed, however, and came across a grisly scene. A large group of men that were armed to the teeth were fighting with the diverse group.

I frowned, slung my bow off of my shoulder, knocked an arrow, and hesitated. I had never taken a life before and the thought of doing that now bothered me. But, if I didn’t release this arrow, a member of my newfound family could die.

I aimed and closed my eyes right as the arrow released. The sound of a pained groan followed and I choked back the bile that threatened to rise up my throat.

After the battle was over, we went on our way and I made sure to look at each one of these people's faces. Because they were people and they deserved to be remembered.

When we reached the bottom of the ramp leading onto the Imperial Highway, Elissa called out, “Ready yourselves. Darkspawn ahead!”

My stomach dropped like a stone as we cleared the ramp. Nothing, not the stories or the description, could have prepared me for the sight before me.

Their molted, gray-purple skin seemed to suck in all light while their beady, black eyes reflected nothing but death and soullessness. Their yellow teeth stretched up where their lips should have been and ended in points that looked like they could tear through a person's skin like it was paper. But the most terrifying thing was how they moved.

It was like water. They flowed across the road with a fluidness that most trained soldiers lacked. They knew where one was going to strike and which one was going to move where.

“Adoria!” Alistair yelled as he jumped in front of me. I could feel the vibrations as the darkspawn’s sword bounced off of his shield. The smell of death followed where it moved.

“Sorry!” I yelled and knocked an arrow and fired at the closest darkspawn, blood flying out of the wound and painting the stones beneath it.

Before long, the rest of the darkspawn were lying on the ground, bleeding out. Their blood was black pools on the ground that lacked even a reflection. I wasn’t surprised to find that their blood smelled like tar and looked to be smoking.

I swallowed thickly before rushing over to a patch of bushes to lose everything in my stomach.

“First time seeing a darkspawn?” Leliana asked, patting me on the back as she held my hair.

“Yeah,” I groaned as I spit out the last bit of bile that burned my throat and made my mouth feel dirty.

Oh, how I missed home.

* * *

That night, by the campfire, I was reading through the book Elder Miriam had given me. It still took me a while to read sentences but I was getting better at noticing recurring words and characters. Leliana had just sat down beside me for our nightly lessons when Elissa called for everyone's attention.

“I have already talked with Alistair and Morrigan about this, but I want to discuss this with everyone else, also.” When everyone had settled around the main fire, Elissa continued, “We have treaties that require the Dwarves of Orzammar, the Circle, and the Dalish Elves to aid us against the Blight. We were thinking about heading to Redcliffe first, however, to see if Arl Eamon could also lend us aid.”

“Do what you think is best,” Leliana responded, turning back to help me make sense of the book in my lap.

Sten didn’t respond just grunted in acknowledgment and went back to watching the perimeter of the camp with the same stoic expression on his face.

“Adoria?” Elissa called out.

I looked up in surprise, worried that I had done something wrong, but Elissa was just staring at me with an open expression. “Wait...you want my opinion?”

“You are a part of this family now, so yes, I do.”

I blushed furiously in embarrassment. “That makes sense, I guess.”

Of course, that’s what she was asking. Although people wanting my opinion is strange to me, I felt stupid for assuming I had done something wrong. I guess old habits die hard. Living at the orphanage as one of the younger kids, I had always been blamed for something, even if I didn’t have anything to do with it. In turn, whenever someone called out my name, I assumed I was in trouble for something.

Despite answering, Elissa frowned in my direction and looked almost disappointed by my answer. I looked away and focused on what Leliana was pointing out in the book.

“That settles it then. In the morning we set out for Redcliffe.” Elissa left the warmth of the fire and trailed off to go talk to Bodahn and his son, Sandal. They were the two dwarven merchants that we had saved from the darkspawn earlier that day. They had run across our camp and asked if they could travel with us, saying something about safety in numbers.

Elissa agreed readily enough and had spent most of the night talking to them about something.

“Adoria, are you listening?” Leliana asked, tapping the page in front of me.

“Sorry, Leli,” I muttered. “I got lost in thought. Could you repeat what you said, please?”

“She’s trying to push you to be more confident, you know.”

“What?” I asked, leaning away from the book.

“The Warden,” Leliana repeated, “she wants to see you grow. We all do. It’s not hard to see that you have no confidence in yourself.”

The blush that had finally disappeared returned in full force as I looked away, sheepish. I didn’t know what to say to that. My normal response would have been ‘sorry’, but that would only confirm what she was saying.

“We’ll get you there before long, but for now, focus on what I’m teaching you.” She tapped the book again and I quickly tried to lose myself in the book.


	3. Chapter 3

That morning, I was sitting outside beside Sten who had the last watch of the night and had been for about an hour. The sun was just starting to rise over the horizon when he finally spoke to me for the first time.

“You are a healer?”

I jumped, startled by his deep voice. “Ye-yeah.”

He didn’t say anything else and I just assumed that the conversation was over. But I guess I was wrong, because next, he asked, “Do you have night terrors often?”

I swallowed thickly. “These particular dreams are new, but yes. Nightmares are not new to me.”

“I could hit you with a stick until you overcome your fear,” he offered, serious and stoic as always.

“Um...I think I’ll be okay. Thank you for the offer though.” I knew he was offering to help in his own way, but I did not relish getting hit with a stick -to overcome my fear or otherwise. I had thought I had been quiet during my nightmare, seeing as how not even Leliana had woken up and she slept in the same tent as me, but I guess the fact that I couldn’t sleep didn’t escape the giant.

The memory of the nightmare still sent chills down my spine. It was worse than normal nightmares because most of what happened in it was real. From the men dying to the darkspawn. The only difference was that we hadn’t survived the darkspawn.

“Good morning!” Elissa chirped as she walked over to us with what looked like armor in her hands. “A gift for you, Adoria. Some armor so you aren't as exposed on the battlefield.”

“Really?” I took the armor she offered with a shocked expression. No one ever gives me a gift without expecting something in return. “Thank you. Um...I don’t want to be a burden, but...I’m not sure how to dress in this.”

Elissa laughed at my embarrassed face before helping me dress in the armor.

The padded leather vest fit snugly over the loose tunic that I had bought back in Lothering and the tassets rested against my upper thighs. The leather shoulder harness went on next and wrapped around my left shoulder tightly and across the top part of my chest and stopped about halfway up my neck. 

The bracers went on next and were plated on the outside and went from the bottom of my elbow, over the back of my hand, and around my middle two fingers. Then, some plated greaves strapped around the front of the boots I had also bought back in the village.

Finally, after pulling my quiver over my shoulder and grabbing my bow, Elissa deemed me ready. After she had walked away, I smiled happily to myself. It was strange, having someone give me something because they wanted me to be safe.

* * *

When Redcliffe came into view, Leliana and I mused that it was adequately named. The towering cliffs protected the town from one side while the lake protected it on the other. The morning sun brought out the red of the clay of the hills and the sparkling blue of the water.

The massive stone castle looming across a large bridge was the centerpiece of the town, though. That was where we were headed, I supposed. I doubted Arl Eamon lived in a wooden shack perched beside a river.

As we approached a bridge leading across the river aforementioned, a man with a bow came running across to greet us.

“I thought I saw travelers coming down the road, but I scarcely believed it.” He seemed relieved when he saw that we were armed, “Have you come to help us?”

“What’s the problem?” Elissa asked, stepped forward from our group.

The man seemed to be confused and shocked. “You don’t know? Has no one out there heard?”

“We heard that the Arl was sick, if that is what you mean,” Alistair spoke as he stepped up beside Elissa.

“He could be dead, for all we know.” He explained, “Nobody’s heard from the castle in days. We’re under attack. Monsters come out of the castle every night and attack us until dawn. Everyone has been fighting...and dying.”

Morrigan, ever the one with sarcasm, responded to the man first. “Apparently, everyone agrees that a Blight is the perfect time to start killing each other.”

“Marvelous, isn’t it?” I quipped. Morrigan’s statement held some truth and the fact that there was someone that would take advantage of the war thrust upon this country irritated me to no end. Instead of sticking together when their home is in a crisis, someone -Loghain, the turd- would use it to take it over.

If Elissa and Alistair didn’t succeed in defeating the Archdemon then the joke would be on him, though. No point in fighting over the throne when there wouldn’t be a country to run.

The man ignored Morrigan and me and continued on, “We have no arling to defend us. No arl and no king to send us aid. So many are dead and those left are terrified they’re next.”

“Calm down,” Elissa soothed the man as he started waving his hands around in a panic. “We’ll help, but you need to take us to whoever is in charge.”

“I should take you to Bann Tegan. He’s all that’s holding us together. He’s in the Chantry. Please, follow me."

We trailed after the man as he led us down a steep path and through large groups of people who had that same air of fear that the people in Lothering did. How did anyone find it in themselves to terrorize these people?

The man led us up the steps of the Chantry -what I soon learned was the equivalent of the Catholic Church in its prime. They acted like the Catholic Church, too, from what I have seen. Religion was fine and all, but these people suppressed who they deemed as lesser. I didn’t like the Chantry very much. I was positive most of the racism in this land came from them.

When the massive doors shut behind us, I trailed off to see if there was anyone that needed my help. Going by what that man had said there were probably a lot of people who have been injured.

I didn’t bother pausing to ask one of the priests -or sisters, as I’ve been told to call them- if I could help and instead just took off my bracers and shoved them in my pack before washing my hands and getting to work.

I walked over to the closest person who looked to need the most help and started speaking with him. “Hello, I’m Adoria.”

“Lee,” the young boy croaked.

I smiled down at him and looked down at the bandage wrapped around his leg. It was clear that the wound would need to be cauterized or stitched up based on the blood amount. Hopefully, it would only need stitches, but I wouldn’t know until I was able to remove the bandages. “Well, Lee, I’m going to help you as best as I can, alright?”

“Don’t bother,” he sighed, his voice resigned. “I heard one of the sisters say I would die from infection.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” I stated. “I do need to remove these bandages, though. Do you know when they were last changed? And what caused the wound?”

The bandages were filthy and covered in blood dirt and mud. “Not since they first wrapped it yesterday. One of those undead bastards got me.”

I made a tsk in the back of my throat and set to work. Of course, they wouldn’t have changed the bandages. I sat my pack down beside me and dug around until finding the items I would need.

The elfroot poultice that Elder Miriam had taught me to make, some needles and thread, a cup, a pair of large and small tweezers that I had to ask to be made, some clean bandages, a spoon, and a large rag to lay everything on.

And, of course, the bottle of Sun Blonde Vint-1 that I had bought back in Lothering. I had been looking for something to disinfect wounds and took one taste of the drink before spitting it back out with a grimace. It had tasted like tequila with an undertone of vodka and that would work just fine, even if it did taste terrible.

I left Lee’s side for a moment to set some water over the fire to boil and drop the needles in it while laying some bandages over the pot so the steam would help clean them.

“There’s no point in trying to help him, you know,” one of the sisters spoke, sadness tinting her voice.

“I’m sure that, with proper care, he will be fine. If you are free, I could actually use your help.” The sister nodded her head in agreement so I continued, “If you could, just watch this water and, once it comes to a boil, wait for ten minutes before removing the needles. Once they’re done, just bring them and the bandages over to where I’m at, please.”

When I reached Lee’s side again, I slipped out the hunting knife that Alistair had told me to keep and cut the old bandages off of his leg. “I need to cut a hole in your pants to be able to see the wound better, okay?”

He didn’t respond so I took the knife and sliced open the side of his pants carefully. When the wound came into view, I frowned at the three gashes that decorated his leg. It was clear that claws were what had filleted his skin. I kept my expression neutral as I probed the skin.

There wasn’t any discoloration besides heavy bruising of the skin around the gashes. And, as much as it was bleeding, they weren’t all that deep, so thankfully, they would only need stitches.

A moment later, the sister that agreed to help me returned with the needles and bandages. I thanked her and asked if she could hold his leg still. She hesitated before I directed her to press the bottom part of his leg to the floor.

“I need to clean the wound, alright, Lee.” Again, I got no response.

After using the tweezers after cleaning them off with one of the damp bandages, I used another one to wipe away the blood before filling the cup with the Sun Blonde Vint-1.

“Lee,” he looked up at me when I called out his name. “This is going to burn, but it will help keep it from getting infected.”

And then I emptied the cup over the wound and helped the sister hold his leg down until he relaxed as best as he could, cursing under his breath before I started to stitch him up.


	4. Chapter 4

It was well past noon when Leliana had come to drag me away from the injured. I had given the sister that was helping me specific instructions for each person and hoped against hope that she would actually listen to me.

I trailed after Leliana as we talked about nonsensical things like the weather. When we entered the tavern that rested atop a hill overlooking the village, I was surprised to find several men who looked to be part of the militia drinking.

And then, as they toasted their death, I realized that they were drinking to forget. If I was doing something like that, I would have preferred to be outside with fresh air, not in a dim, crowded room that smelled like stale feet.

When we sat down with the rest of the group, Elissa passed a bowl of stew and a hunk of bread over to me. I accepted them with a quiet thank you and dug in. It was unsurprising to find that I was starving, seeing as how I hadn’t eaten since that morning before we left camp.

“We need a plan for tonight. Any ideas?” Elissa asked, eating her own food.

“We should charge the castle. This Arl Eamon is why we are here,” Sten voiced as he watched the tavern with that same stoic expression.

“What about the village?” Alistair asked past a mouthful of food. When Morrigan scoffed he glared at her. “Do you have any ideas?”

As an argument broke out between the two of them I shrunk into myself. I hadn’t meant to sit in between them, but I would never make that mistake again. When the words started to get a little more heated -each one insulting the other’s mother- I knew I had to do something, so I turned Elissa and silently pleaded for her to stop them.

“I think Adoria has an idea,” she said, instead. It got the two of them to stop fighting, though, so I guess that was a plus.

“Um...no...not really.”

“I’m sure you have a plan. Go on and share,” Leliana encouraged from where she sat across from me.

Seeing that they would not let up I picked at the wooden table while speaking quietly, “There are...there are two ways to get to the village from the castle: the bridge and the lake. Maybe we could break up into two groups to cover both...maybe?”

“And the castle?” Elissa asked, smiling softly as if she was proud that I had spoken up.

“Er...we could go in the morning? When the village is safe?”

“We have a plan then.” She stood, her Mabari -who was nothing but a softy that looked like a pitbull on steroids- hopping up from the floor. “Try to get some rest. We have a few more hours before the undead are upon us.”

While the rest of us finished our food, Elissa left the tavern with Ash following at her heels.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, I was actually able to sleep for a few hours that afternoon. What little exhaustion still clung to me quickly disappeared as a thick, eerily green mist rolled across the stone bridge from the castle.

“Here they come!” one of the arl’s soldiers called out while dropping into a stance with his shield up and sword pointed outwards. The rest of the people standing below Leliana and I did the same, creating a wall against the undead storming down the hill.

With a deep breath, I took the flaming arrow Leliana offered and drew it back. Then, right as the first undead monster was about to reach the oil we had dumped on the ground, I released the arrow.

Leliana and I watched from the raised platform Elissa had asked to be built to give us a height advantage. The arrow flew through the air while we each knocked another arrow and drew back.

The arrow hit the middle of the oil and the night was lit up in an explosion of fire as the first few undead stumbled through the flames in a panic before dropping dead...again. God, I hoped it would actually stay dead this time.

The wooden barricades that they built stopped what few that ran through the flames. Even from here, I could hear the wood creaking and groaning under the weight of the undead bodies throwing themselves against them.

The entirety of my body was tense as we waited for the first few to break through the barricades. Even still, my hands were shaking violently.

“Breath, Adoria. Breath,” Leliana’s soft voice came from beside me. I looked up at the taller woman with a wobbling smile. Since I shot left-handed and her right, we were able to face each other and at the moment I was thankful for that. The warmth in her eyes helped me find a sense of calm as I turned to face the undead again.

“Here they come!” Elissa’s voice carried over the moaning and growling of the monsters as they finally broke the barricades.

Leliana and I released arrow after arrow, picking off the undead below. My eyes scanned for my next target and saw one of the monstrosities that tried to flank Sten.

I released the arrow before knocking another one and doing the same directly after. The first hit the beast between the shoulder blades causing it to turn around to focus on its new enemy. It didn’t get a chance to move, however, because the next arrow hit it square in the forehead.

Thankfully, they stopped coming down the bridge after a few waves and we all breathed a collective sigh of relief as Leliana and I climbed down from the platform.

“I thank you for dispatching that abomination,” Sten said as he and Elissa walked over to us.

“You’re my friend, Sten. It’s the least I could do.” I could have sworn I saw his mouth twitch up in a smile. That man was a big softy, I swear.

Our relief was short-lived because one of the militiamen came running up the dirt path from the village. “Help! They’re attacking from the lake!”

“Stay here! Guard the path!” Elissa ordered the soldiers while Sten, Leliana, and I followed her as she ran after the militiaman.

When we reached the village, my heart stuttered in my chest and bile rose as I watched several of the militiamen get cut down without a passing thought from the undead. Their blood and entrails staining the ground as the monsters swarmed over their bodies. Leliana and I took up spots on the steps of the Chantry while Elissa and Sten rushed to help Alistair and Morrigan. These monsters needed to be stopped and soon.

The people armed with daggers or swords kept their backs to the Chantry, standing behind the massive fire burning in the middle of the village square. It was the only thing that provided light since the moons were covered by clouds. No one ventured into the dark beyond the light.

That’s when I noticed that the undead themselves were giving the fire a wide berth. My eyes widened as I got an idea. “Morrigan!”

The dark-haired woman glanced over her shoulder and came over to my side when I waved her over. “What?”

“Can you light the arrows on fire as I release them? These monsters go up in flame like paper...er...parchment, sorry.”

She didn’t respond, just waved her hand and the tip of my arrow was suddenly flaming before my eyes. I gave her a conspiratorial grin and fired. The undead that the arrow found its home in lit up like the Fourth of July and started thrashing about before collapsing into ash.

We continued to fire flaming arrows while the militiamen kept the undead away from the Chantry. Eventually, the sun crested the cliffs and the undead stopped coming. I plopped on the ground to catch my breath and stretch my aching arms. Those that survived the night didn’t cheer or jump for joy, instead, they set about gathering the dead for their pyres.

I frowned as I observed the damage before standing to help the closest injured militiaman.

* * *

I had stayed in the village to help the injured while Elissa, Alistair, Leliana, and Morrigan went to take the castle back. Sten had also stayed, but I had no idea where he was currently at.

When Leliana came to get me, I could see that something was wrong based on the slope of her shoulders. I didn’t ask her what was wrong as she led me up the path leading to the windmill. I assumed that if it was something they wanted me to know that they would tell me.

We met with the rest of the group and found Elissa and Alistair arguing quietly off to the side.

I frowned as I stood in between Leliana and Sten. “What...what happened in the castle?”

“The arl’s son is a mage and he had summoned a demon,” Leliana began explaining, frowning in the direction of the castle. “He is possessed and to free him of the possession we had the choice of killing him, killing his mother for a ritual performed with blood magic, or going to the Circle for help. You can guess what the Warden chose.”

Mages and Templars were something that everyone in the group had commented on when I had asked about it one night in Lothering. The conversation quickly went off track and dissolved into an argument -mainly between Alistair and Morrigan. I learned that it was a touchy subject for everyone, although locking up someone based on how they were born didn’t make much sense to me, magic or no. I had made the decision to form my own opinion on the matter, though, when Leliana and Elissa had to stop the two from coming to blows.

I nodded silently as a sign I understood while Elissa and Alistair rejoined the group. Elissa sighed heavily and Alistair just looked defeated. He had the air of a kicked puppy. “Based on the look on your face, Adoria, Leliana explained what was going on. There’s also another problem. Arl Eamon is sick and apparently, that's why Connor summoned the demon, to begin with. Arlessa Isolde seems to think that the Urn of Sacred Ashes can save him and gave us a lead to follow in Denerim.

“That being said, Alistair and Morrigan will be going to Denerim to follow this lead while-”

“What?!” Morrigan yelled in outrage, interrupting Elissa.

“I’m not happy about this either,” Alistair chimed in, pouting.

“If you will let me finish.” Elissa sighed again. “You two will go to Denerim while the rest of us go to the Circle. We’re in a race against time to save both the village and the arl. Morrigan you’re going with Alistair because it’s dangerous for you to go to the Circle, alright?”

Morrigan grumbled something about not fearing Templars but stayed silent otherwise.

“We’re setting out in one hour. As I said, it’s a race against time. We will meet in the tavern when we are finished. Please, be careful,” Elissa pleaded before leaving the group.

I frowned as I looked up at the castle. Hopefully, we would make it back in time before anything else happened.


	5. Chapter 5

Chills lanced down my spine as the Circle Tower came into view. After about a week on the road you would think that civilization would be a welcome sight, but not this place. I guess I was right in assuming the name was literal. The weather-worn building stretched up to the point that it looked like the clouds split around the top. With the two moons hanging in the backdrop and a thin fog rolling across the lake, it all painted a very dismal picture.

As we started down the hill leading to the dock to take us across the lake, a man in well-worn clothing jumped out at us. “Back off. This spot is mine!”

“Yours?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side in confusion.

Elissa and Sten stepped in front of me when the man turned his glare towards me. 

“Yes, mine. But the spot was picked clean when I got here,” he grumbled.

“Did you find a Qunari sword?” Sten asked, a small amount of anger coloring his voice.

“Qu-what?” When Sten stepped forward threateningly, the man started throwing out sentences to placate the Qunari. “Look, I didn’t find any sword but the man who sold this spot to me is named Faryn. He’s based in Orzammar.”

The scavenger then darted off, probably scared witless. “Sten,” Elissa spoke up turning to face the large man, “what was that about?”

“Now is not the time. I will tell you when we make camp.” He stopped the conversation on that note and set off for the dock.

I shot Leliana a look of confusion but she just shrugged and followed after him.

When we finally reached the dock, Elissa was arguing with the man dressed in Templar armor. “Will you please let us cross? I’m a Grey Warden and we have a treaty that says the Circle has to help us against the Blight.”

“If you’re a Warden, prove it,” the man ordered casually.

“What?!” Elissa growled, hands on her hips.

“Go on, go kill some darkspawn or something.”

I laughed behind my hand as Elissa looked ready to strangle the young man. The sound of the small laugh drew the man’s attention to me and the look that crossed his face had me stepping closer to Leliana. “Although, I’ll take you across if that young lady with the brown hair stayed on the boat too, you know, keep me company. It gets lonely out here.”

“Uh…,” I blushed furiously while looking away. That was new. I can’t remember someone ever _flirting_ with me...if that was what he was doing. But, come to think of it, it is more than likely my imagination. The man probably did get lonely out here by himself with no one to talk to.

“No. If I give you cookies you will take us across,” Sten stated firmly while holding out what I assumed to be cookies wrapped in a cloth.

“Cookies!” the Templar’s voice took on a child-like glee before he ushered us into the boat and rowed us across the lake.

When we entered the Tower, my eyes couldn’t keep track of who was going where because of how many people were running around in a panic. A blind person would have been able to tell that something was wrong just going by the yelling that everyone was doing.

Along one side of the entrance hall were people lined up on cots, all of them having some type of injury. Everyone else was either standing in front of two massive doors with their swords and shields out, helping the injured, or sleeping on the floor.

“What’s going on?” Elissa asked as she walked up to the man who looked to be organizing everything.

Ash sat down by my feet and I patted his head. After bribing him with a lamb bone in Redcliffe the dog happily trailed after me when he got bored of following after his master. He helped calm my worries about being here, too. When those doors closed behind us I became incredibly tense and uneasy. My nerves causing a headache to form at the base of my neck.

“The Tower is no longer under our control,” the man spoke calmly but there was a sadness that danced in his eyes. “Abominations and demons stalk the Tower’s halls.”

My blood ran cold at what he said. Alistair had taken it upon himself to explain to me what abominations and demons were before we left for the Tower. He also explained how mages could be possessed and everything he said did nothing but scare the daylights out of me.

These demons seemed as bad as the Chantry with taking mage’s free will. I kept that little observation to myself though. I figured it wouldn’t be appreciated.

The man continued his rant about complacency having to do with the loss of the Tower.

“Do you know how this happened?” Elissa asked once the man finished his rant.

“No. We saw only demons hunting down Templars and Mages alike. I realized we could not defeat them and told my men to flee,” he explained, voice taking on a weary tint. And then, his voice turned hard, “I have sent word to Denerim for reinforcements and the Right of Annulment.”

“What’s that?” I whispered up to Leliana.

“It gives the Templars the power to purge the Circle,” she answered back quietly. That did not sound good.

“Hold on. Let us try to help,” Elissa pleaded. “We need the help of the Circle to defeat the Blight and we won’t have that if everyone is dead. And what if there are still mages alive?”

“If there are still some alive then the Maker himself has shielded them. No one could have survived those monstrous creatures.” His voice broke as he continued, “It is too painful to hope for survivors and find...nothing.”

Elissa persisted, “Please, let us look for survivors.”

The man sighed and shook his head. “Once you cross that threshold there will be no turning back. The doors must remain barred and will only open when I have proof it is safe. I’ll believe it is over only if the First Enchanter tells me so.”

“Fine,” Elissa agreed.

After dropping our packs off with the quartermaster to keep safe, we entered the first floor of the Tower and the sound of the heavy doors closing behind us echoed through the too quiet space.

We passed by room after empty room, each one of them seemed to resemble a dorm. I lost track of how many dead bodies littered the floor. “This is cruel,” Leliana whispered from beside me.

I could only nod my head in agreement. The smell of death and ozone permeated through the halls and made the headache in the back of my neck pulse in time with my heartbeat.

The sound of children screaming sent us all running down the hall, weapons at the ready. When we burst through the door any thought of action flew from my head as I had my first look at a demon.

It’s upper torso looked to be made of hardened lava while the bottom half was still in a semi-liquid state that allowed it to move across the floor in a back and forth motion. A set of two glowing eyes were the only thing that defined its face. Even from where I was standing I could feel the heat from its body and smell the pungent scent of brimstone that hung heavy in the air.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to do anything because an older mage quickly cast an ice spell that froze the demon in its tracks before she made a motion with her hand and shattered it.

Then she turned around, took one look at Elissa, and dropped into a defensive stance. “You! No, come no closer. Grey Warden or no, I will strike you down where you stand.”

“Wynne?” Elissa questioned, astonishment coloring her voice. “You made it out of Ostagar?”

“I did. More importantly, why are you here?”

“We’re here to stop the Templars from using the Right of Annulment so we can gain the mage's aid against the Blight.”

“So they have sent for it,” the old woman sighed. “We have survived, even trapped as we are, but if they invoke the Right then we will not be able to stand against them.”

“Hope is not lost,” Elissa smiled gently at the gathered mages, “if we can get the First Enchanter to tell Gregoir that the Circle is safe, then they will not need the Right. But what happened here?”

I tried to listen as the pair of them continued talking but my headache continued to grow until it was dancing behind my eyes. I closed them and rested my cool hand against them to try and alleviate some of the pain. When I opened them, however, I had to blink several times to clear my vision because the air around everybody seemed to fluctuate and dance. A moment later, the headache receded to my neck again.

“Let’s head out,” Elissa called, following the older mage to the wavering blue barrier that separated the room we were in from the rest of the Tower.

“I’m surprised that I was able to keep it up for this long,” Wynne mused darkly.

“You’re a strong woman,” Elissa countered.

When the barrier dissipated, we continued on our way up the Tower, clearing out every room and hallway to ensure that any demons or abominations wouldn’t escape to hurt the children.

When the library had been cleared I snatched a few tomes from the shelves to practice reading something other than a book on herbs. By the time we had reached the other end of the library, I had slipped about seven books into my pack. My actions didn’t go unnoticed though, because Leliana gave me a sly smirk as we ascended the stairs to the next floor.

I smiled sheepishly with a shrug. These people likely wouldn’t realize that any books were missing and if they did they would hopefully assume that they had been lost to the demons and whatnot.

We had come across a man who Leliana quietly told me was a Tranquil. If the name didn’t explain what he was, then the dead look in his eyes and the detachment of his voice would have told me enough. What could have taken away the light in this man’s eyes?

I made a mental note to ask somebody when we made camp again. 

Halfway through Elissa’s conversation with the Tranquil, the headache moved to my eyes again so I repeated the process of closing my eyes for a moment before reopening them.

The fluctuating air came back again. This time, however, there was only one person who didn’t have the air moving around them and that was the Tranquil man. I frowned and blinked again. When the air returned to normal, I put it off as just a side effect of the headache. Either that or I was finally going crazy from jumping into another world.

We were on our way again shortly and came across several mages who were power-mad -the sight of these people summoning a demon from thin air really helped me understand why people feared magic. It still didn’t justify completely taking away their freedom to me. Someone had to know that eventually, the mages would push back and God help them when they do.

The next obstacles were undead and more abominations that swarmed around us with a vengeance. Eventually, we came across a sight that kind of made me want to laugh.

A demon -at least, that is what it looked like with purple skin and horns shooting up out of its head- was dressed in what even _my_ world would consider indecent. She...or it- I didn’t know if demons had genders but this particular demon had curves that most women would kill for and...generous assets that made me self-conscious about my own. The room smelled like lavender but there was still that undertone of sulfur that seemed to follow all demons.

It seemed to be feeding off of a Templar's hopes or something of the like and Elissa was quick to kill it. Sadly, the man had attacked us also and refused to stop until he was lying on the ground dead. There was one thing that the demon had said before dying that deeply bothered me.

“What are you?” It had whispered in a silky smooth voice that brushed against my ears while making eye contact with me from across the room. “If I could not see you with my own eyes, I would say that you did not...exist….”

I didn’t know if anyone else had heard the words or not but no one said anything once the battle was over so I tried to put it from my mind. Sadly, whenever we had a quiet moment between battles its words would pop back up and my headache would expand and shrink every time I thought about it.

I had to pause after one such battle and clutch my head as a wave of dizziness threatened to knock me off of my feet.

“Adoria?” Leliana asked softly, laying a cool hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Just a headache,” I responded, trying to wave off her concern.

“Would you like me to try to help, child?” Wynne offered, approaching me.

“I will be alright. Save your mana, but thank you.” I refrained from saying that headaches were nothing new to me. I was still playing the memory loss card, after all. Even though lying to everyone was starting to bother me.

We continued until we came to a carnivorous room that had strange looking...blobs of- No. No, I refused to wonder what those blobs were. They looked too much like pink, veiny flesh sacks.

Standing in the middle of the room was a demon looming over the dead body of a mage. Its back was turned to us but it looked like all of the other abominations that we had come across. It was tall, easily taller than Sten, with a hunched back and tattered robes that fell to the floor.

When it turned to face us I realized that this demon did not _feel_ the same as the others. The others just wanted our deaths, but it felt like this demon was trying to reach out and brush our minds. It left behind an icky...slimy feeling.

When it spoke in a slow, lazy tone, it evoked a sense of extreme lethargy, “Oh, look, visitors. I’d entertain you but...too much effort involved.”

Um..huh...that’s new, even if it had a sarcastic undertone. Aside from that, I think I just found my spirit...er...demon animal. Not one demon we had come across had said anything close to that. Kind of made me want to laugh. I probably would have if my head didn’t feel close to splitting open.

Elissa responded to the demon, but all her words did was echo in my ears.

“Aren’t you tired of all this fighting?” It drawled, “Wouldn’t you like to just lay down and...forget about all this? Leave it all behind?”

When that feeling of something brushing against my subconscious turned into claws raking through my mind I fell to my knees with a pained scream.

I clutched at my head as fire lanced through my body and reverberated in my mind. The headache grew and grew, consuming me until I thought that the pain was all I would know.

Just when it got to be too much, the pain exploded outwards. Literally. A wave of energy rocketed outwards, knocking the demon back. Wynne, who had stepped up beside me, fell to the floor with a groan, clutching at her head as if she was in pain herself.

I missed the fight as Elissa and Sten decapitated the demon while I lay on the floor holding my head. The headache eventually subsided before disappearing almost entirely. All that remained were echoes of what it had been.

“Adoria, Wynne, are you two alright?” Elissa asked as she and Leliana helped us to stand.

“What...what in the shit was _that_?!” I yelled, looking around in a panic. I could feel sweat drying on my face.

Everybody looked taken aback by my language, but I didn’t really care. I wanted to know why my head felt like it was about to explode and why Wynne had collapsed right alongside me.

Wynne answered before anyone else did, “It...it was like a...a smite...but it felt different. You didn’t drain my mana, it was like you...closed off my access to the Fade, but different from Tranquil. I still had all of my emotions.”

“We can get into this later,” Elissa stepped in. “We’ll figure out what happened, but for now we need to find the First Enchanter. Wynne, is that Niall?”

The old mage nodded and Elissa searched through the pockets of the man’s robe before pulling out a sheet of paper that looked so old it could crumble to dust.

“Let’s keep moving,” Elissa ordered.

We continued up the Tower until we reached the top floor where we came across a young man who looked to be stuck behind a barrier.

“This trick _again_?” The young man exclaimed, “I know what you are. It won’t work, I will stay strong.”

The man fell to one knee and folded his hands over his bowed head as if he were praying. “Are you alright?” Elissa asked, stepping forward.

“The boy is exhausted. And this cage,” Wynne stepped up beside Elissa with sympathy coloring her voice, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

I walked forward as well and tried to make eye contact with the man as I whispered loud enough for him to hear, “Help is here.”

“Enough!” he yelled. “No more vision. If anything in you is human kill me now and stop this game. You broke the others but I will stay strong. For my sake...for theirs.”

I frowned and stepped back to stand beside Leliana as Elissa conversed with the trapped man.

“This is terrible,” I mumbled. “Who could do this to somebody?”

“A soulless monster,” Leliana responded.

Elissa turned to us. “Come on. Uldred is just up there. If we stop him then we can save the other mages.”

I paused before following after them. “Wait. I’m going to stay here. I don’t want to go up there where somebody might try to use magic against me after what happened with that demon.”

Elissa’s brows furrowed but she nodded her head and led the others up the stairs while I went over to sit in front of the barrier, facing the man.

“My name is Adoria. Who are you?”

“Your friends are fools,” he answered instead.

“I don’t know about that. They all seem pretty competent to me. How about some music, to pass the time?” When I had helped the people in Lothering and Redcliffe, singing helped ease some of their pain. I hoped it would do the same for this tortured man, even if most of his pain wasn’t physical.

I hummed out loud until I was able to remember the melody before I started singing King by Lauren Aquilina. A song about taming the darkness of one’s mind seemed fitting for this situation.

When the song ended, he quietly asked for me to sing it again. So I did.

When I reached the chorus I made sure to maintain eye contact while singing.

**“You’ve got it all  
You lost your mind in the sound  
There’s so much more  
You can reclaim your crown  
You’re in control  
Rid of the monsters inside your head  
Put all your faults to bed  
You can be king again.”**

The words seemed to help ease the tension in his shoulders and after a moment of silence, he responded to my earlier question, “Cullen. My name is Cullen.”

I smiled and silently mused that somehow the name was fitting. Maybe it was the curls. I jumped back in surprise when the barrier disappeared in a flash of light. When Cullen stumbled forwards, I reached out to help steady him but he brushed away my hands and stood straight on his own.

“Adoria!” Elissa called out as she came rushing down the stairs. “Can you help the injured up here?”

“Yeah!” I answered before turning back towards Cullen with a soft smile. “Fool or no, it is a strong person who holds onto their belief when everyone else says they’re wrong.”


	6. Chapter 6

After getting the First Enchanter and the rest of the mages to safety, Elissa enlisted their help for the Blight and their help with Connor. The First Enchanter agreed to travel to Redcliffe with enough lyrium for the ritual. So, we slept at the Spoiled Princess and left in the morning to bring the good news to Arlessa Isolde and Bann Tegan.

“Are you sure you’re alright to travel?” Leliana asked for the third time since we had left the inn.

“I’m okay.” I smiled up at the older woman as we walked behind Elissa and Sten on the road. Wynne had been added to our group and at the moment she was walking on the other side of me. Having someone concerned for me made me feel kind of uncomfortable but it was still a nice feeling at any rate.

“Hold!” Elissa called out, holding her fist in the air as a woman approached us in a hurry.

“Oh, thank the Maker,” the woman sighed. “We need help. They attacked the wagon. Please help us! Follow me!”

And then she turned and ran back the way she came without waiting for an answer. _Towards_ the direction she just came from. My brows lowered as I turned to Leliana, “That seemed...strange. Shouldn’t she be running the other way?”

“Yes,” she agreed.

Still, we followed the woman around a blind spot in the road. The scene before us had us stopping in our tracks. There were indeed carts turned over and dead animals that might have once pulled those carts. But, what threw us off was the sight of the woman standing beside an elven man with a wicked smirk on her face.

“Uh oh,” I whispered, looking around anxiously as the man gave a hand signal and several well armed people came out of hiding.

The sound of wood creaking had me looking up at the sight of a massive tree falling towards us. I yelled before rolling forward to avoid being crushed, “Move!”

“The Grey Warden dies here!” the elf yelled.

The woman turned out to be a mage and Wynne was barely able to get a barrier up before a fireball was exploding in our face.

Elissa and Sten stood in front of the three of us to keep the close ranged fighters away while Leliana and I picked off the archers lining the hills above and Wynne maintained a barrier to keep the mage from killing us all. Eventually, the battle field quieted down, the mage lying bleeding on the ground beside the elf.

“Is he still alive?” Elissa asked.

With cautious steps, I approached him and laid two fingers against his pulse point before nodding my head. “He’s alive, just unconscious. Should we wait for him to wake up?”

“Yes. I have some questions for him.”

“Alright. Sten,” I turned to the tall Qunari, “I know one of their blades got your arm so come here and let me see it.”

The man grumbled but sat down on a nearby log to let me treat the flesh wound on his arm.

A few minutes later, the elf started waking. “What?” he groaned, his accent sounded close to a Spanish one. “I rather thought I would wake up dead. Or not wake up at all, as the case may be. But I see you haven’t killed me yet.”

“I have some questions,” Elissa informed him, hands on her hips. She looked like an angry parent.

Surprisingly the man started spitting out information, “Let me save you some time. My name is Zevran. Zev, to my friends. I am a member of the Antivan Crows, brought here for the sole purpose to kill any surviving Grey Wardens. Which I have failed at, sadly.”

“I’m rather happy you failed,” Elissa quipped back.

“Who are the Antivan Crows?” I whispered over to Leliana.

“They are an order of assassins out of Antiva. Very powerful, and renowned for always getting the job done...so to speak. Someone went to great expense to hire this man.”

“Who hired you to kill us?”

“A rather taciturn fellow,” the man answered. “Loghain, I think his name was.”

Elissa continued to question him for several minutes before the man said something interesting. “Well, here’s the thing. I failed to kill you so my life is forfeit. That’s how it works. If you don’t kill me then the Crows will. Thing is, I like living. And you are obviously the sort to give the Crows pause. So let me serve you, instead.”

“You aren’t very loyal to your employer. Can I expect the same?”

“I happen to be a very loyal person,” he argued with our leader. “Up until someone wants me to die for failing. That’s not a fault, is it? Unless you expect the same thing. In which case, I don’t come very highly recommended.”

Elissa frowed and scratched the back of her head before throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation. “Fine, fine. Just don’t try to kill us any more. Adoria, can you help him?”

“Yeah,” I agreed and walked back over to the man slowly, silently praying that he wouldn’t suddenly change his mind.

Leliana, thankfully, followed me over to him. “Welcome, Zevran. Having an Antiva Crow join us sounds like a fine plan.”

As he sat up and offered up his ankle he responded to Leliana while smiling at the both of us. “Are you two companions-to-be, then? I wasn’t aware that such loveliness existed amongst adventures, surely.”

Leliana said nothing while my face flushed a bright red. This man was a flirt, through and through. I knew not to take anything he said seriously and I wished I could keep my blushing under control.

I silently cleaned the wound on his ankle before wrapping it and helping him stand. “You have my thanks.”

I nodded my head in response and stuck close to Leliana’s side as the party went back on the road.

As Zevran bantered back and forth with Wynne and Elissa, I realized that there would be no more quiet nights at camp.


	7. Chapter 7

I swallowed thickly as everyone stared at me from around the campfire.

After informing the Arlessa about the Circle, we had waited for a few days for the First Enchanter and for Morrigan and Alistair to come back. When the ritual was performed successfully we set out the same day for Haven, a mountain village that is said to house the Urn of Sacred Ashes. At least, that was what the imposter Morrigan and Alistair found in Denerim led them to believe when they searched his house.

We didn’t leave the castle before Wynne, Morrigan, and Elissa tried to figure out what had happened to me at the Circle, however. I told them that I might have an idea but that we needed to wait until we camped that night.

And now, I couldn’t put it off any longer.

“So...,” I coughed to clear my throat and wrung my hands where they were resting on my lap. “I’ll start this off by saying that I’m sorry. Please understand that I did not want to mislead anyone.”

Almost everybody's expression darkened or became tinted with curiosity. Sten and Morrigan were the only ones whose face remained neutral.

“I’m...I’m not from _here_. As in Thedas.” I watched as I got the reaction I expected.

“You can’t expect us to believe that,” Morrigan scoffed. Everyone else mirrored her answer to some degree.

“I figured you wouldn’t. But, think about it. I don’t know anything about this world. I had no idea that magic existed, no idea what Fereldan or Orlais was. I showed up wearing strange clothes. And...the thing that happened back at the Circle. That wasn’t normal for this place and it certainly wouldn’t have been normal in my world.”

Everyone stopped and thought about what I had said. I shrunk in on myself as I feared the worse. This was where they killed me. After surviving demons, undead, and an assassination attempt, this was where I would die. I briefly thought about asking them to bury me how I had wanted to be in my world.

“What all was a lie?” Elissa asked, looking over at me from Alistair’s side with a tired expression.

“I almost wish I was lying. That seems better than misleading you with the truth.” And then I told them about my past.

“My name is Adoria Raine Montgomery. I am eighteen years old and what my people would call a child prodigy with humble beginnings. I was left on the doorstep of an orphanage in a city that is bigger than anything you could imagine without a thing to my name. I do not know who my parents are nor where they live or if they are even alive. 

“I took part in archery, karate, jiu-jitsu, and survival classes at the local recreation center. I graduated high school when I was thirteen and finished college a few months before I was dropped here. There, I studied to get a nursing degree and took several classes in the culinary arts, and joined a tactics club and an herbalists club. And that’s it. That’s my whole life story in a few minutes.”

“Why did you say you lost your memory?” Alistair asked, his shoulders drooped. “Why not tell us this to begin with?”

“Would you have believed me?” I countered. “And...I needed to learn about this place before the only people who had been nice to me kicked me out of their group because they thought I was crazy.”

“I believe you,” Leliana spoke from beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I gave her a weak smile before turning to the others. “I am really sorry. If you want me to leave, I will.”

“There’s no need for that yet,” Elissa sighed, looking at the ground. “Just...give the rest of us time to wrap our minds around this, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll answer questions if you have any.” I left the group to their musings and went to my shared tent with Leliana and laid down to go to sleep.

But, of course, I couldn’t fall asleep because of the worries that plagued my mind. Elissa had said that she wouldn’t kick me out of the group, but...would I still have their trust? Wynne and Zevran didn’t look like they believed me. Leliana had said she did, but was that the truth?

I almost laughed at myself. After coming clean about my own lies I start thinking someone else is lying to me.

“You can’t really believe her, Elissa,” Alistair’s voice was muffled by the canvas of the tent. I held my breath as I eavesdropped on their conversation.

“I don’t know what to believe, but she seems to think her story is true.”

“I believe her.” I silently thanked Leliana for standing up for me.

“And you also think that your Maker sent you a divine dream,” Morrigan quipped lazily.

“Well, I do not have much of an opinion on this, so I bid you goodnight.” That was Zevran.

As several people’s footsteps receded, I shut my eyes and made my breathing deep and even as the tent flap opened. Leliana stopped at the entrance of the tent before sighing quietly and lying down on her bedroll.

“Do you think we can trust her?” Alistair continued.

“I don’t know. She hasn’t done anything to hurt or hinder us. In fact, she has been a big help.”

“Should we-”

“I’ll decide what to do in the morning. She’ll either stay or leave, but for now, we need to go to bed. We have a long hike in the morning.”

That night, I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I had tried to look at the wound on Sten’s arm but he waved me off. When I had to look at Zevran’s ankle, he did the same. Leliana hadn’t even spoken to me when she had woken up.

She normally helped me tame my wild, frizzy hair, but not today. She just looked at me with a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes and went about breaking down the tent.

I shouldn’t be surprised or hurt by their actions, but I couldn’t ignore the way my heart clenched. So, I did what I always did when people didn’t want me around and I went off to myself. That way, I wasn’t in their way and I wasn’t in danger of angering anybody.

I was washing out a spare shirt in the river, trying to keep myself from crying, when Zevran walked over to me. I had meant to wash the blasted thing last night but I was preoccupied. I tried to hurry with my shirt so I could get out of his way.

“Have trouble sleeping last night?” he asked, sitting down on the riverbank, a few feet away from me.

I looked at him in confusion and he just tapped his ear as an answer. I made a small noise of comprehension and nodded my head. Of course, elves would have better hearing than the other races. Figures he would hear me crying. How stupid of me.

“What is… What did you call it? Ju itsu?”

“What?” Then it dawned on me. “Oh! Jiu-jitsu. It’s an unarmed form of martial arts. There’s also a Brazilian style but I only learned Japanese. I could show you if you wanted me to.”

I regretted the words when they left my mouth and silently berated myself. _Stupid girl. They think you’re crazy. Why would he want to learn anything from you?_

“Another time, perhaps. I believe the Warden would like to speak with you.” He pointed over his shoulder and sure enough, Elissa was walking towards me.

I quickly turned back to my shirt to have something to focus on while Elissa made her way over.

“Zevran, can we have a minute?”

“Of course, dear Warden,” he drawled lazily while standing up.

Elissa waited until he was out of earshot before she spoke. “So...I thought about this all night...and...you are more than welcome to travel with us.”

I looked at her with wide eyes. That was not what I was expecting. I was sure they were going to kick me out. “Are you sure?” I voiced my concerns, “The others can barely look at me now…I don’t want to be a burden.”

“I know,” Elissa answered. “But, you’ve been a big help. Especially with cooking. I don’t think I could stomach another one of Alistair’s meals.”

I laughed softly and gave her a bright smile. “Thank you, Elissa. Hopefully, you all will see that I did not lie about who I am. My personality is the same. My origins are a bit different than yours, that’s all.”

“Maybe not go telling that to everyone, yeah?”

“Of course not. If the people who I consider family didn’t believe me, why would anyone else?”

Elissa winced in response to my statement and left me by the river. I don’t know why I had said what I had. Maybe I was hoping that she would put my concerns to rest about the others thinking I’m lying. I guess not, though.

“Alone again…,” I sighed at the rushing water below me.

“You’re not alone,” another voice, this one belonging to Leliana, stated. “I’m here, after all. Are you ready to go?”

I wrung out the shirt and folded it before putting it in my pack. “Loneliness does not have to be physical,” I whispered. And then, louder, “Yeah. I’m ready.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Help! Please!”

The sound came from further up the road and we were quick to race towards it, urgency speeding us along.

Before we even rounded the bend in the road, Elissa and Alistair had their swords and shields out, yelling, “Darkspawn!”

I suppressed the shudder that danced down my spine and knocked an arrow, pulling it all the way back before we finally made it around the bend.

When I released it, it flew through the air and found its target in one of the darkspawn charging down the road after a man. I drew another arrow and shot at another darkspawn as Elissa, Alistair, and Sten charged forward.

Zevran disappeared in a puff of smoke but if I focused hard enough, I could see a slight wavering in the air where he had been. Wynne and Morrigan fell in beside Leliana and me to release spells both offensive and defensive.

Eventually, after Zevran had stabbed the last darkspawn in the back with two wicked looking daggers, the road fell silent. I looked around the battlefield as everyone else dispersed.

I stared at the surrounding hills to ignore the gore around me. I closed my eyes and ignored the prickling along the back of my neck. The sense of peace that enveloped me was shattered when Zevran yelled, “Adoria! Move!”

I jumped and spun around and saw the air wavering before something flashed upwards.

“Ah!” I stumbled back several steps as the burning pain registered in my mind. The darkspawn that had crept up behind me swung the dagger in its hand at an upward angle. It wasn’t alone, either. Four darkspawn started swarming around me.

I grunted as I was suddenly shoved out of the way and crashed to the ground in a heap.

I watched in a frozen daze as Alistair used his shield to knock the closest darkspawn over the head before turning, reaching over me, and stabbing the one that had somehow gotten behind me.

I swallowed the hiss that wanted to escape when its blood splashed on my leg. _Why did it burn?_

By the time I looked back up from my leg, the rest of the darkspawn were dead and Alistair was clutching at his arm, ruby-red blood spilling from between his fingers.

“Are you okay?” I asked, struggling to my feet.

“I should be asking you that,” he joked, wincing as I pulled his hand away from his arm to look at the wound.

“Wynne, can you heal him?” Elissa asked, stepping up beside me.

With him being in capable hands, I limped away from the group to sit down on a nearby rock, facing away from them.

I looked down at my leg. _Why was it still burning?_

There was no point in asking Wynne to try to heal me. She had tried to heal me once after I got a nasty cut at the Circle Tower, but we found out that it did nothing. Magic -healing magic, at least- didn’t work on me. And I wasn’t about to ask somebody to throw a fireball at my face to see if I was immune to offensive magic, too. Besides, if my luck held, I would find that out at some point.

Pulling back the tear in my pants, I gasped quietly before dropping the fabric to hide the gash as Leliana came up beside me. “Are you alright?”

“Yep,” I chirped, smiling up at her as I stood, hiding my limp. “Just a cut that’ll heal in no time. Alistair,” the man turned to look at me as Wynne finished with his arm, “it seems I owe you my life.”

He just flashed me a smile as Elissa stated that we would make camp once we were clear of the battlefield so both of us could rest. She also mentioned something about a village. Honnleath or something.

* * *

After we had made camp with a new companion in our group -a golem named Shale- I had walked to the nearest body of water and stripped down to my underwear to bathe and dress my wound.

Walking was an agony that was only getting worse. It was spreading, too. At first, it was just my thigh that hurt, but now it was the entirety of my right leg. Thankfully, it seemed to be staying to my leg.

I gently cleaned the gash as best as I could and couldn’t help but glower at the sight of it.

The darkspawn’s blade had come at an upward angle, separating the skin to create a deep flesh wound that would no doubt scar, even if healing magic worked on me. It stretched from the top of my thigh, over my pelvic bone, and ended about two inches below my belly button.

That wasn’t what bothered me, though. It was the sight of my veins. They had turned black and spidery. And God did it burn. Like someone was pressing a hot poker directly into the wound, right against the nerves in my leg.

What had Elissa and Alistair told me about this? Something about blood...

Then it dawned on me.

The darkspawn’s _poisonous_ blood had mixed with my own.

I had the Taint.

* * *

I had kept silent about the wound. I would die from it soon, going by what the two Warden’s had told me shortly after they explained what the Blight was.

I could at least be useful to them until I couldn’t move any longer.

It was getting harder to hide it, though. I had taken to chewing on elfroot to help with the pain and that made it manageable, but Leliana was noticing that something was wrong.

From the raised body temperature to the limp that followed me around, she kept asking questions, asking if something was bothering me. I kept deflecting and tried to distance myself from the rest of the group by walking at the back of the party.

We were almost at Haven and we couldn’t delay. A measly fever could wait. So we kept on walking. Up until my feet refused to work and the next step I took ended up with me on the ground.

My harsh breaths clouded the air in front of me, making it hard to see Leliana’s panicked face as she leaned over me. But, oh how the snow felt nice against my neck. “Adoria? Adoria! What’s wrong?”

Her hand reached up to brush the hair from my sweaty forehead before she yanked it back like she had been burned. “EL-ISSA!” her voice cracked as she called out for our leader.

“What’s happened?” Thundering footsteps signaled the arrival of the rest of the party. Cold hands rested against my forehead and I sighed in relief. I assumed they belonged to Elissa. Her hands quickly became too warm and I tipped my head to the side to get them off.

And then she was tipping my head back and running her fingers along my neck.

“Where was she wounded?” Elissa’s voice sounded calm, but I could feel the hands shaking against my too-warm skin.

“Her-her leg I think.”

“Cut it open and let me see.”

There was a ripping noise followed by a rush of cold air on my skin and a sharp gasp of surprise for somebody...I couldn’t even tell where it was coming from, at this point.

“Come on,” Elissa’s voice sounded far away. “Haven isn’t that far. We may be able to get help there.”

I was coherent enough to realize that someone had picked me up and was carrying me bridal style. My head rested against their cold armor as they walked at a brisk pace.

“I’m...sorry,” I whispered, the light of the afternoon sun dimming until I saw nothing.

* * *

_**Alistair’s P.O.V.** _

This was all his fault. What was he thinking? Stabbing the darkspawn when it was looming over her like that.

_Why didn’t I notice that its blood had gotten on her?_

His subconscious provided the answer for him in the form of the memory of Elissa worrying over him and the way his heart had skipped a beat.

_Stupid..._

She was limp and burning up in his arms as they walked up the mountain. Her lips were parted and her breath clouded in front of her face in small pants.

_How had none of us noticed?_

Again, his own mind gave him the answer. They had been too busy trying to distance themselves. Trying to figure out if they could trust her again. What good it did if she died a few days after coming clean.

When the village came into view, Elissa spared little time to talk to the guard that tried to shoo them away and asked where they could rest. The guard directed them to the Chantry and told them to speak with someone there.

Alistair wasn’t listening much to their conversation and just followed along blindly.

The fight in the Chantry was a blur. They were accused of...something… the details escaping Alistair as he found the nearest room to lay Adoria in.

They all crowded into the room as they watched her chest rise and fall. Now that it had been pointed out, Alistair could see black lines reaching up her neck. Elissa and Leliana were kneeling by her bed, both close to crying. Wynne looked on with a helpless look on her face. Zevran, who had known Adoria for only a couple of weeks, was startling quiet for someone who had something to say about everything.

Even Sten and Morrigan had harsh frowns on their face -the closest they would come to showing any type of sadness.

The only person who seemed unaffected by Adoria’s condition was Shale, the golem Elissa had brought back with her from Honnleath. Though, that may be because it was unable to show any emotions.

“The Ashes!” Leliana suddenly yelled, startling everyone. “The Ashes could save her!”

Elissa shook her head. “They may not work.”

“We have to get them anyway for the arl. Why not get some for Adoria? We have to try, Warden,” Leliana pleaded.

Their leader sighed and nodded her head. “Anyone who wants to come with me, let’s go. Our time frame for this is even shorter now.”

“I’ll go,” Leliana was the first volunteer.

“As will I,” Morrigan stated, stepping forward.

Zevran answered next, “A race against time? Sounds like fun, no?”

“I will go as well,” Shale’s default condescending tone rang through the room.

Elissa said nothing else, only looked at Alistair with defeat in her eyes before leaving the room. They both knew -as did everyone else, deep down- that Adoria would probably not make it until morning, much less the time it took them to get back with the Ashes.

“Leave...me....alone.” Alistair looked down to see Adoria looking up at the ceiling. Her normal sharp, honey brown eyes were dull and glassy.

Her eyes were moving as if she was looking around, but Alistair doubted she was seeing anything. But, maybe there was hope after all if her eyes hadn't become gray and lifeless as they normally do when someone has the Taint.

“She is having a fever dream,” Wynne whispered into the still air. “All we can do is try to lower her body temperature and make her as comfortable as possible.”

Alistair jumped back in surprise when her arm flew into the air, followed by a pained scream.

He shuddered at hearing the broken sound. He couldn’t imagine what types of nightmares she was having.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! TRIGGER WARNING !!!
> 
> Mentions of a past suicide attempt; attempted sexual assault on a child; child abuse. (Tags have been updated to say so.)
> 
> Don't read if you don't feel comfortable doing so.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Let's take a peek into Adoria's childhood and her past before falling into Thedas.
> 
> If you are triggered by anything mentioned above, you can skip to the next chapter.
> 
> P.S. I cried while writing this...

_“Stupid child,” the older woman hissed. The woman was our main caretaker and insisted we call her Mother. I couldn't even remember what her real name was._

_“Mother…”_

_Slap._

_I swallowed tears as I stared up at the woman. I hadn’t meant to spill my food. One of the other kids had tripped me, causing me to fall flat on my face._

_Mother grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room, the sound of the children laughing in the background fading as the door closed behind us. She dragged me through the halls of the orphanage and to the basement door._

_“You have laundry duty tonight.” And with that, she yanked open the door and threw me down the stairs._

_“Ah!” I yelled as my too-thin arm snapped as I landed on it wrong._

_“Be sure to finish before you go to bed!”_

_The door slammed shut and I was left in the dark. I stumbled to my feet and shuffled across the floor until I could pull the cord to turn on the single light bulb._

_I stared at my arm as the tears finally came down my face. “I am not stupid.”_

* * *

I gasped as my eyes opened, the dream...no not dream. The _memory_ from my time at the orphanage had me shaken. It still surprised me that a person could do that to a five-year-old. 

I looked around the blurry room and found Alistair and Wynne leaning over me with concerned eyes.

“Wha…,” I coughed as my body shook. I wasn’t even cold, I was just shaking from the fever that still raged.

“I’ll go get some water.” Wynne turned and left the room. I could see Sten standing near the door, stoic as always.

When I looked back at Alistair, his hazel eyes shown with sympathy and...regret….

“What’s wrong?” I whispered.

He held my hand and leaned over it, his short hair sweeping across the back of it. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault….”

“It’s not…” I reached up with my other hand and brushed his hair away from his forehead. When he looked up at me I gave him a weak smile and closed my heavy eyelids to go back to sleep.

* * *

_I sighed as I stared over the river below. My head was still bleeding from the rock that was thrown at me while walking home. The words that they threw hurt even worse than the burning wound. I didn’t even bother blinking as the blood dripped down my face as the words played in my head on repeat._

What would happen if I just jumped?

_I leaned over the railing of the bridge as the dark water raged below. The depths called to me._

Would it be deep enough? Or would I end up breaking something on the rocks?

_“Hey!” I looked over my shoulder as a man with short hair approached. “What are you doing?”_

_I gave the man a sad, crooked smile and his eyes widened. “Ending it,” I whispered and started climbing over the railing._

_“NO! No, no, no.” And then I was being picked up by my arms and drug back over the railing while being yelled at by the person who stopped me from jumping. “Are you crazy? You have so much life left to live!”_

_That same cracked smile was still on my face as I stared at the gathering clouds above. “Is it worth living if you have no one who loves you?”_

_“Yes!”_

_Then he was dragging me through the park towards the more populated areas, scolding me the entire way. In all honesty, I wasn’t paying attention._

_I probably should have been concerned for my safety. I didn’t know this man after all and he had a death grip on my wrist._

_If he was a killer he had picked the best victim._

Someone who wouldn’t be missed.

_I didn’t react as he led me to what I assumed was his car. And I didn’t do anything when he asked me to get into the back seat. I listened with that same broken smile on my face as the skies opened up above us._

* * *

I didn’t awake with a sharp gasp. I just opened my eyes as tears ran down my cheeks. I knew that man and the dream memory brought back too many real memories for my liking. Too many sad memories, at least, and not enough happy ones.

“She’ll make it, Alistair,” I heard Wynne whisper.

“Maker,” Alistair sighed, “I pray that she will.”

I smiled at the ceiling above and stated, “Of course I will.”

Alistair huffed a laugh while running a cold cloth along my forehead. I sighed at the relief as it met my burning skin. “You’re a saint, thank you.”

He laughed again while Wynne tried to feed me something that looked like broth. I frowned but thanked her and ate it anyway.

“What were you dreaming about this time?” he asked, leaning back in his seat.

I chewed on my bottom lip, thinking about whether or not I should tell him. Wynne had left the room again and Sten was nowhere in sight so I mentally shrugged my shoulders and told him about this particular memory.

“I was walking home from school. I was...ten at the time and had just started high school so the older children were terrors to me. They made fun of me, bullied me, threatened me. And that was just the emotional and mental abuse.” When I saw his furrowed brow, I stopped speaking about the dream. “You don’t want to hear about this. It’s not pleasant.”

“No, please, continue.” He leaned forward and laced his fingers under his chin while staring at me intently. I became distinctly aware of how handsome he was -with hazel eyes dancing reflecting the light from the fire and soft-looking hair- and was glad that I could pass off my blushing face as part of my fever.

“Okay. Well, I was walking home from school, as I said. I was still a child but that didn’t matter. One of the highschoolers had thrown a rock at me. It hit me in the head and split the skin. The person who had thrown the rock called me a freak and ugly while all of her friends laughed.

“I ran, of course. Both embarrassed and sad. Or maybe depressed would be a better word for what I had been feeling at the time. But, anyway, I ran to the park not a mile away from the school and went to the most secluded area I could find. I just happened to find a bridge that let you cross the rapids of a large river. While I was there I had...I had tried to kill myself.”

“What?!” he exclaimed, sitting up straight with a glare. “Why would you do that? You are smart and kind and beautiful! Why would you even believe someone who says that to you?”

I barked out a sardonic laugh, ignoring the way my heart fluttered at the compliments. “Because I had been pushed to the point that death seemed like the only escape. I, thankfully, learned later that it wasn’t. But, I had no peace at school. No peace at home where I shared a room with seven other people my age. The only person who helped me see that I _actually_ had a life to live was the person who taught me archery and helped me start learning jiu-jitsu and karate.”

“Still…,” he grumbled with a pout on his lips.

I smiled, reached over, and patted his arm. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“I’ll watch over you.”

I muttered a thank you and closed my eyes.

* * *

_“Come on little girl, let’s go.” The middle-aged man grabbed my arm and tried to drag me away._

_I kicked and I screamed, trying to get away._

_I just wanted to go home and sleep. After spending all day helping at the recreation center, I was tired. And Tony, the man who saved my life that day, had said he wanted to talk about something after school tomorrow._

_I was worried because_ he _looked worried. He said it was nothing bad, but it still bothered me._

_And now this creepy pervert was trying to drag me away._

_I had seen him a few times standing in front of the center after schools let out but thought nothing of it._

_Right at that moment, I wished I had taken Tony up on his offer to walk me home._

_“Hey!” a familiar voice put my racing heart to ease as I was suddenly released._

_“Bastard!” the man growled, holding his jaw and glaring up at Tony from where he stood in front of me protectively. He was shaking out his fist from where he hit the man._

_“I’m not the bastard here. Adoria, run,” he whispered before turning back to the man. “The police are on their way. You won’t prey on another child again.”_

_I didn’t stop to listen to any more of the conversation and took off down the sidewalk, thin arms pumping by my side as my shoes slapped against the pavement._

_But no matter how far I ran, I could still hear the man laughing darkly. “I may go down, but she’s going with me!”_

BANG!

_I instinctively ducked when I heard the gunshot, my hands coming up to cover my head while police sirens wailed in the background._

_I turned to look over my shoulder when I didn’t feel any pain and wished I had kept running._

_I skidded to a stop and stared in horror as the man smiled wickedly and turned to aim the gun at me before pulling the trigger once more. I squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for my death._

_The_ bang _that echoed through the empty streets wasn’t from his gun, though. I slowly opened my eyes and stared in shock as the man’s head jerked to the side before he fell to the ground._

_As blue and red lights painted my surroundings, I rushed to Tony’s side and ignored both the warm puddle I was kneeling in and the body lying beside Tony’s._

_I wouldn’t have been able to stomach seeing a man with a hole through his head._

_“Adoria,” Tony whispered, raising a hand. I clutched at his hand and frowned at the piece of paper he pressed into my palm. “Remember...you-you decide…if you listen to…others. Don’t let...small minds...st...stop...you from...great...ness.”_

_I was pulled away from him as blood started leaking out of his mouth. He smiled at me while his eyes fogged over._

_Still clutching the paper in my hands a police officer drove me to the college campus. I didn’t say anything to anyone as I climbed the steps to my dorm room, the dim lights of the halls not registering as my feet followed the path engraved in my mind._

_The whispering in the halls from the older students falling on deaf ears as my dorm room closed behind me._

_I locked the door and sat on the floor, my back against the wood._

_When I opened the folded paper, I started to cry._

_It was an adoption paper with his and my name on it._

* * *

I woke kicking and screaming with tears streaming down my face.

“Adoria. Adoria!” Alistair’s voice finally registered in my mind.

I sucked in sharp breaths as I looked around in a panic before a broken sob escaped my lips.

“Everyone!” I wailed as he looked around uncomfortably. “Always…”

I cried into my hands when warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me out of the bed.

Alistair shushed me quietly as he ran his fingers through my knotted hair, rocking back and forth. I didn’t know when he had taken off his armor, but I felt safe in his arms.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he whispered, chin pressed against the top of my head.

“Everyone always leaves,” I whimpered. “I’ll always be alone.”

“You’re not alone, Adoria. I’m here.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head uncertainly, “And so is everyone else.”

I fell asleep while he was holding me, hiccuping as the sobs calmed down.


	10. Chapter 10

“What was that last dream about?” Alistair asked after I woke up again. At some point, he appeared to have transferred me back to the bed. Thankfully, the fever seemed to have broken.

I knew he was referring to when I had a full emotional breakdown. The school counselor had told me that talking to someone after a nightmare could help overcome the dream. That didn’t make it any less painful, though.

I picked at the fabric of the worn blanket someone had found for me. The bowl of stew Wynne had fixed was cooling rapidly in my lap but I couldn’t bring myself to eat anything. “I know you all don’t _really_ believe me, but where I’m from, we have these things called recreation centers. It’s a place where people can play sports and so on. Anyway, one night while I was walking home this man approached me.

“He tried to kidnap me but the same man who kept me from jumping off a bridge saved me again. He told me to run, so I did. But the other man shot him with a gun then turned it-”

“What’s a gun?” Alistair leaned forward in his chair, brows furrowed.

I chewed on my lip as I tried to think of how to explain what a gun was. “It’s this piece of metal that, when loaded, will shoot a smaller piece of metal -a bullet- at speeds that can’t be tracked with the naked eye. These bullets often kill people with the first shot if it’s placed right. Our wars have been more bloody since their invention.”

Alistair stared in shock, a small amount of horror creeping into his warm eyes. “Wow…”

“Yeah. Sadly, that isn’t the worst weapon we have.” I fell silent after that. There was no way I was going to tell him about the nuclear bombs or biological warfare.

“I’m sorry for interrupting. Please, continue.” He sat back in his chair, eyes showing he was still trying to process a weapon capable of that much damage.

“That man turned the gun on me but was shot by the police officers who came to arrest him. I hadn’t known it at the time, but that man was a child rapist who had escaped from prison a few months back. Long story short, both, the man who saved me and the man who tried to kill me, died.”

“I have so many questions…” He frowned. “Is it really that different there?”

Surprised by the question, I accidentally barked out a laugh. “It really is. But you know what is the strangest thing that I’m still trying to come to terms with?”

“What?”

“It’s not the magic, the lack of technology, or the lack of proper hygiene. It’s the _two moons_. Like, who needs two? This isn’t Mars.”

Alistair looked more and more confused the longer I spoke so I quietly trailed off with a nervous laugh.

_Shut up, Adoria. No one wants to listen to you ramble._

“Sorry,” I mumbled. He was silent for a long time while I ate my stew. 

The sound of rushing feet had us looking up at the door in time enough to see Leliana and Elissa burst through with Wynne trailing on their heels.

They stopped when they saw me sitting up, eating a normal meal. I sat the bowl to the side and gave them a small wave and a weak smile. “Hey, guys.”

“Adoria!” Leliana cried, rushing forwards, tackling me in a hug.

“ _Oompfh_ ,” I grunted, bracing a hand against the bed so I didn’t go flying off the side. I wrapped my other arm around her shoulders as I felt something drip onto my shoulder.

Leliana pulled back, wiping at her eyes with a relieved smile. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Was I really that bad?” I asked, looking at Elissa who nodded her head.

She approached the bed after Leliana moved away and started to examine me for, I assumed, the Taint.

She looked at each of my eyes, the skin on my neck, and the wound on my thigh before she asked Wynne to do that same. I had to make a conscious effort to keep from jumping or squirming when they touched the bandaged wound. Before long, Elissa pulled away with a bewildered look on her naturally pretty face. “It seems that...that the Taint is...gone.”

“That’s a good thing, right?” I asked, smiling in relief. I wouldn’t question how my body got rid of the Taint. It was gone and that is all that mattered. But, it probably had something to do with not being from Thedas.

“We should use the Ashes,” Leliana stated firmly, “just to be safe.”

I frowned and tipped my head to the side. “Would they even work on me? I'm pretty sure they are classified as magic. Right, Wynne?”

“The Ashes require magic to go into effect, ‘tis true,” Morrigan spoke in her default even tone as she entered the room.

“Then save them.” I smiled politely. “One of you may need them more than me.”

“But-”

I cut Leliana off before she could protest, “I’m okay. See?”

I lifted my arms above my head with a soft laugh to show I really was alright. It was still strange to have someone worrying over me like this. Although, I was getting used to it and that scared me. Getting attached to such a feeling made me believe I was becoming dependent on someone other than myself.

It was nice having friends, though. And I couldn’t bring myself to try to push anyone away. I would just have to prove that I don’t need anyone to worry over me and that I could take care of myself.

_After all, I’ve been doing it for years._

“Where to next?” I asked Elissa.

“Back to Redcliffe as soon as you can make the journey.”

“I’ll be good to leave tomorrow-”

Wynne shook her head in protest. “No, you will not. You still need to rest for a few more days before going anywhere.”

“But-”

I was cut off again, this time by Elissa. “Sten, Alistair, Leliana, and Wynne will stay behind with you and the rest of us can head to Redcliffe tomorrow morning.”

I opened my mouth to protest again but Leliana shushed me and pushed me back into the bed. “Sleep now, Adoria.”

* * *

I was still grumbling about not being able to go with the other the first night we made camp.

Leliana was having a blast teasing me about being upset while Alistair stayed at my side, throwing in comments every now and again about how good my cooking was. Which only served to cause my face to heat up in a blush.

Wynne was busy sitting up her tent while Sten prepared himself for the first watch, already scanning the surrounding woods.

After Leliana wandered off to set up our tent, I took the dishes over to the nearby creek and started washing them. A minute or two passed by in silence before someone sat down beside me and offered to help.

I passed Alistair the nearest dirty dish while I continued scrubbing at a stubborn spot in the bottom of the pot. It almost reminded me of a cast iron pot, although much, _much_ lighter.

“I have a question if you will,” Alistair broke the silence between the two of us, his voice wavering slightly. It seemed as if he was nervous about something.

“Is something wrong?” I ask, sitting the pot down.

“No, no. Nothing is wrong. It’s just...how do…,” he covered his face and groaned into his hands. “This is stupid. I’m stupid. Just forget it.”

“Alistair,” I laughed softly, reaching up and gently tugging his hand away from his face. “You’re not stupid. What’s wrong?”

He frowned before spitting out a sentence so fast I had to ask him to repeat himself.

“How do your people court?” he asked again, face almost as red as mine was at that moment.

I cough into my hand, trying to hide some of my blush behind my hair. Despite what was a strange terminology to me, I knew what he was asking. “I wouldn’t really know. No has ever tried to court me before.”

“Really?” he actually sounded shocked by my confession. “But...why?”

I smiled to myself, still hiding behind my hair, as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well,” he continued, “if someone did try to court you, what would they have done?”

My smile quickly turned to a frown as I looked up at the night sky. The full moons -it was still strange saying that- blocking out any of the stars as they lit up the dark with a dim light.

I couldn’t honestly answer him. I didn’t really know what I was attracted to in a man much less what one would have to do to get my attention like that. Still, Alistair was patiently waiting for an answer. “I guess...flowers? Flowers are always nice.”

He beamed as if he had just won the lottery and jumped up from his spot on the ground. “Thank you, Adoria. I would have asked Leliana but she would have made fun of me.”

“Oh, um...sure?” I doubted that he heard me as he practically skipped back to the camp.

I wasn’t sure what that was about, but I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach.

* * *

The next night we made camp, I was busy washing out a spare shirt when I overheard Leliana and Alistair talking. I would have tried to move, but Leliana had hearing like a hawk.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Alistair asked, voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s beautiful,” Leliana gushed. “I’m sure that she will.”

“Thank you. Don’t tell her anything though, it’s a surprise.”

“Of course not.”

After Alistair left, I heard Leliana sigh, “The poor girl. This will break her heart.”

I frowned and looked over my shoulder as if I could see Leliana standing on the other side of the trees behind me.

* * *

When Redcliffe finally came into view, I gave a sigh of relief. Finally, a place where the beds weren’t as hard as a rock and I could bathe with actual hot water and not in a freezing creek.

We had a short introduction with Arl Eamon who thanked us profusely and gave each of us a small treasure’s worth of gold. He called for someone to show us to our rooms before disappearing into his study with Alistair and Elissa.

I was browsing the castle’s library when Elissa and a defeated looking Alistair entered the warm room. And one by one, everyone else trickled into the room as well. I knew something was up because of the grave look on their faces.

I made my way over, books forgotten, and sat down beside Leliana on a barely cushioned wooden couch.

“Go ahead and tell them Alistair, or should I?” Elissa had her arms crossed over her chest a deep frowned etched around her mouth.

When Alistair said nothing, Elissa spoke up again. “It seems we are in the presence of royalty. May I introduce Alistair Theirin, the bastard son of the late King Maric and half brother to the late King Cailan. And heir to the fucking _throne_.”

I blinked in shock as silence encompassed the room. It wasn’t hard to see that Elissa was angry. From the sarcastic way she spoke to avoiding looking at Alistair, every line of her body screamed: I’m pissed.

It wasn’t hard to understand why she was angry, either. But I would keep my mouth shut on this matter. I wasn’t the only one that hid a past, it seemed.

“So,” Zeveran spoke up and I silently braced myself for whatever he was going to say, “Adoria, my dear, do you have royalty where you are from?”

I frowned but nodded my head. “Not in the particular country I lived in, but yes. The most iconic royal family is _the_ Royal Family. They live in England, across what we call the Atlantic Ocean, or the Pond. The woman who holds the throne is probably going to outlive everyone. She is over ninety years old.”

“Oh, wow,” Leliana gasped.

“She is that old, truly?” Morrigan asked.

“Yes. I’m eighty percent sure she has found the key to immortality.” I laughed at my joke and that seemed to help ease the tense mood in the room.

“All shocking news aside,” Elissa stated. “We leave in two days to go to Orzammar to enlist the dwarves' help.”

I grinned widely. I couldn’t wait to see this underground city everyone talks about. It was probably beautiful.

The only thing I was looking forward to more than that was visiting the Dalish Elves.


	11. Chapter 11

I smiled happily as we walked along the mountain trail that led up to the gates of Orzammar.

The bitter wind burned the inside of my nose and whipped my thick braid around like a lasso. But, even though it felt like my bones themselves were shivering in the cold, the snow-covered coniferous made a peaceful winter wonderland that I wanted to get lost in.

And I probably would have if not for the sight of the straight cut, blocking architecture. Despite the simple outwards appearance of the bridge that we came to, the designs themselves look proud and strong.

I smiled to myself as I ran a hand along the biting cold stone, noticing the smaller, more intricate carvings that hid among the design as a whole.

The artwork, I suppose, represented the people that carved them. Proud and strong with small, hidden intricacies that you needed to be close to see. Then again, perhaps I was reading too much into things.

“Hold!” Elissa called from the front of the group. Normally, when we moved our main camp to another spot, Bodahn and Sandal would follow us. But, today, the dwarven merchant had refused to go any further than the bottom of the mountain.

Apparently, it had something to do with being kicked out of the city and not being on good terms with the _real_ dwarves, as Bodahn had put it. After the snarky comment, I didn’t pry too much into his history.

Now, I was glad that the two of them weren’t with us.

Several people swarmed around mounds of snow and out from behind the trees, swords drawn and bows at the ready, war cries falling from their lips. I even noticed one of the people who came rushing towards us was gearing up to cast a spell.

I quickly knocked an arrow and aimed at the nearest person before releasing it. I watched as the arrow went clean through the man’s unprotected throat. His blood streamed from the wound and the snow hissed when it splattered the ground.

When his body fell, I fired again, this time at the person that was directly behind him.

At one point during the battle, I got separated from the rest of the group with Zevran. We were pressed back to back as we were surrounded by at least seven armored men and women. I could even see the mage with lightning dancing between her hands from the corner of my eye. I knew that, at that moment, we were screwed.

“Bless it all,” I hissed, slipping into a defensive position with my hands in front of me, palms open and facing outwards. My bow lay broken and useless somewhere buried under the almost ankle-deep snow. Serves me right, too, for trying to use it to stop a shield that got too close to my face. I had gotten a bruised eye and a split on my cheek for the action, too.

“Quite the predicament we have found ourselves in, no?” Zevran released a cackling laugh before disappearing into thin air. I was surprised that I maintained my balance when his warmth vanished from my back.

The nearest two people attacked when they saw Zevran do his disappearing act. I danced backward as the nearest one swiped at my stomach with two short daggers. The other one stalked around me, waiting and watching for me to make a mistake so he could end me.

I didn’t have much body mass, being only five and a half feet with a slim frame, but that made it easier for me to dodge the blows the two men were trying to deliver. Despite that, I still had some muscle packed onto my arms and legs from days of training with bows and learning martial arts. The flexibility aspect of the martial arts came into great play here, too.

Whenever the man with the daggers would try to attack, I would use my hands to simply redirect him instead of actually trying to stop him. I would step towards the outside of his body with my torso facing him and bring my hands up, letting the outer part of his forearm glide across my hand.

The man with the sword was a different story, however. He moved faster than I would have taught someone with heavy armor would be able to. That underestimation cost me.

I ducked under his sword and tried to knock him off balance by kicking his knee, but he grabbed me by my arm and simply tossed me to the ground like I weighed nothing.

I groaned and gasped for air when he landed on my stomach, straddling my hips to keep me pinned.

“Such a pretty thing,” he whispered, bad breath washing over my face. “A shame that you have to die.”

He reached up and wrapped his hands around my throat, closing off my air supply. I looked up with wide eyes and my nails dug into the skin on his wrist, his blood running down my fingers in rivulets.

“Adoria!” I couldn’t tell who was yelling for me as my eyes watered and a fire built in my lungs.

I glared as best as I could as the edges of my vision faded. With my teeth clenched in a snarl, I braced my feet against the ground and thrust my hips upwards as best as I could. I brought my hand -palm up- into the man’s nose while throwing our weight to the side so our positions would reverse.

As my vision tunneled, I reached over, grabbed the sword he had discarded in favor of his hands, brought it to his neck.

My hands became soaked in red as I sliced into the skin with the intention of severing his head from his body. The blade stopped and so did I when it knocked against his spine.

Then, as what I had done settled in, the world came rushing back in blinding colors and deafening sounds.

I could hear people yelling but I couldn’t make out the words they were saying, all I knew was that it was making my ears ring. The once bright snow became glaring and disorienting as the sun bounced off of it in a thousand different ways.

I spun around in a circle, no longer able to feel my legs or my snow soaked clothes as my harsh breathing drowned out the sounds of the battle around me. All around, crimson stood out against the white in a stark contrast, the amount of blood ranging from droplets to pools. Freshly fallen bodies littered the ground and cooled quickly in the frigid temperatures.

With a body that shook beyond my control, my eyesight gravitated towards the man lying at my feet.

The skin was filleted in half and his head was lolled to the side. The stark white of his vertebrae standing out against the nerves and flesh around them. His blood still poured from the wound while his face had a permanent expression of shock. My stomach turned violently.

He didn’t even have time to be afraid before I had killed- No. I didn’t kill him. I had _butchered_ him like some wild animal.

“Adoria!” The sound of my name had my head snapping upwards, just in time to see the mage that had been dancing along the outskirts of the battle throw a ball of fire at me.

 _I guess someone_ did _throw a fireball at me._

My arms wouldn’t move to cover my face as the fire and heat grew closer and closer. It would serve me right to burn to death for taking a life so violently. The pressure in my skull that grew rapidly, however, reminded me this would not be so.

I watched what should have been my oncoming doom as the fire seemed to hit an invisible barrier less than a foot away from me. But, the fire didn’t spread around me and keep going. Instead, it simply sputtered out and died in a puff of smoke.

That was how I knew for sure that Wynne or Morrigan had not cast a barrier over me. It was, in fact, my ability to negate magic, as everyone else had taken to calling it.

Someone, I wasn’t sure who, used the mage’s surprise to quickly end her life. I wasn’t paying attention however because I was bent over a snowdrift, sweat drying on my skin as my stomach heaved and tried to claw its way up my throat.

A cool hand brushed against the back of my neck as someone, probably Leliana, grabbed my hair that had come out of its braid. The flash of red hair from the corner of my eye confirmed that it was Leli.

“It will be alright,” my friend soothed. “It was him or you. You did the right thing.”

I shook my head as a sob broke from my lips.

_How could what I had done have been the right thing?_

Elissa gathered the group and led us up the hill, but when we finally crossed into the city of Orzammar the look on that man’s face still haunted me.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew that people died and there was nothing you could do about it, but anything that I had killed, be it a person or an animal, I had used clean shots that would cause them the least amount of suffering. A small act of mercy that I would have wanted someone to show me had the positions been different.

But, that man had abandoned his sword in favor of strangling me to death. He had wanted me to die slowly, to feel the life drain from my body under his hands. When our positions were reversed, I had wanted him to feel the same terror and hopelessness that I had.

So, I had picked up his own sword and used it to slowly slice into his neck. The man was probably dead before the blade met the bones of his spine, but that didn’t change the fact that I had wanted him to suffer a slow death too.

I had done something so against everything I believed in that I was afraid of who I could become if I ever acted like that again. 

I wasn’t a pacifist, at least not an extreme one. I believe that violence would never be the answer to anything. I believed that if people could just try to understand and accept others' views -and not try to change them- that things could be a lot better. 

But, after coming here, violence seemed to be how people dealt with everything. There was no _talking_ to the group of bandits that had ambushed us, hell-bent on our death. There was no _understanding_ the Darkspawn who threatened everyone. And there was no _accepting_ -at least for us- the man who was directly responsible for sending the country into a civil war, causing countless and pointless deaths.

I had thought and hoped that maybe, just _maybe_ I was starting to understand how to navigate this world. That the people were starting to make sense and that I could fully integrate myself into their culture until I could return home.

But, now?

Now, my heart felt like it was dying inside my chest. The ache that settled there refused to budge. How was I supposed to survive this world and get back to my own world with all of my pieces intact?

It felt like this world was slowly trying to morph me into someone I wasn’t. And I was afraid that I would let it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! Please Read !!!
> 
> So, upon further research, I changed the language that Zevran speaks from Italian to Spanish.
> 
> There were so many different opinions that jumped between the native language of Antiva being one of the two. So, I changed my mind and went with the one that made the most sense to me.
> 
> And, for those of you who have already read this chapter...I did rewrite it...I really didn't like how it was before.
> 
> That being said, I hope you all enjoy the rewritten version!!!
> 
> Here's a link to the song that I don't own or claim to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LB5skdDFlE&list=RD0LB5skdDFlE&start_radio=1

**_Zevran’s P.O.V._ **

He watched from behind as Adoria trailed after Leliana. It was clear that she was upset, from the glazed look in her eyes to the slope of her shoulders.

She didn’t react as they entered the Orzammar Commons. She didn’t even flinch when two opposing groups of dwarves started killing each other.

All she did was stare straight ahead and follow the rest of the group.

When they entered the only inn in the city that had enough room for their group, she locked herself behind the doors to one room and didn’t come out.

Leliana entered the room before exiting with a defeated look.

“Is she alright?” Elissa asked from the other side of the low table where she sat beside Alistair.

She shook her head with a sigh. “I’m not sure what is wrong with her. She will not speak.”

Zevran frowned. Was he the only one who noticed what had happened?

“She survived the Taint,” Alistair stated with a shrug. “I’m sure she will be able to overcome whatever is wrong with her.”

Zevran silently agreed with him. Adoria would be alright. 

He would make sure of it.

* * *

When the door closed behind Leliana, I rushed over to the nearest container and emptied my stomach again.

I slumped over the pot after I was done and simply tried to breathe.

I leaned back on my heels and reached up to push my sweaty hair from my forehead. My hand stopped inches from my face as I looked at the red-dyed skin.

The blood rushed from my face as I stumbled to my feet. Sweat started drying on my face as I rushed to the washbasin standing in the corner.

I grabbed the bar of soap and ducked my hands under the ice-cold water and started scrubbing harshly against my skin.

All of a sudden warm hands wrapped around my wrists and I was tugged away from the basin. My mind duly registered my back meeting someone’s chest.

I didn’t scream or try to fight back, I just dropped the soap and stared at the back of my hands.

“It won’t come off,” I whimpered, shutting my eyes tightly against the sight of my raw and bleeding knuckles. “It won’t come off.”

“Shh,” a familiar voice with a heavy Spanish accent soothed. “It will be alright.”

I hung my head as tears started running down my face. “No...”

Zevran followed as I curled in on myself and crumpled to the floor. He never said anything and simply allowed me to use his shirt as a tissue.

* * *

“Sorry,” I muttered, sitting on the bed and staring at the stone floor.

“It was no trouble.” I mentally braced myself as he gave a cheshire smile. “I always have a shoulder for beautiful women to cry on.”

I rolled my eyes and gave a weak smile. “You may have excellent hearing, Zev, but I think your eyes need to be checked.”

We sat there in silence before he spoke again, “How is your leg?”

I frowned and shrugged. “It is alright. Wynne and Morrigan fed me health potions until I lost my ability to taste. It still hurts, but that’s to be expected.”

“Magic has no effect on you, correct?”

“Right. And for some reason, the effects of potions are diluted when I ingest them. I guess the ingredients don’t agree with me.”

“That is interesting. I wonder if poisons would behave the same,” he mused.

It was clear he was joking so I wasn’t worried that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. Still, I couldn’t hold in my snide comment, “If my luck holds, I’ll find out.”

“All jokes aside, my friend, I have an important question to ask you.”

“Alright.” I turned so I was facing him. You don’t see Zevran serious about anything very often, if at all. He used humor and flirting to deflect questions and escape from situations that he didn’t want to be in.

“I know what happened during the battle.”

“Oh.” The lightning atmosphere turned heavy again after he finished his sentence.

I glanced down at my hands where they were resting in my lap before turning away when my stomach rolled in protest. They still felt crusty with dried blood.

Even though the blood was gone, the memory of what I had done would stay with me for a long time, if not my whole life, however long that may be.

“I also noticed how you held your own against two armed men without a weapon for yourself. Was that the jiu-jitsu you were talking about?”  
“Yeah...it was.” Some of it at least, the other parts were either karate or basic survival instincts. Until I underestimated the speed that man was able to move. Had I just been smarter, or faster, then none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t be wishing I was back in my one-room apartment and pretending this was all a bad dream. If only-

I jumped when Zevran laid a hand on my shoulder. “Sorry. Lost in thought.”

He gave me a comforting smile. “It became clear to me today that you have never killed a man in close combat. Is that not what these martial arts you spoke of are for?”

I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head. “A long time ago, maybe. Now they are a way for people to stay fit and used for self-defense. I know how to disable someone with my bare hands and I can knock someone out with a roundhouse, but I have never used any of those techniques to kill anyone.”

“I do not want to be the bearer of bad news, but I do not think you can fight without entering close-quarters combat at some point.”

“I know,” I scoffed. “I had thought that I was adjusting to this place, but in reality, I think I was just numb.”

“Numb?” he questioned. “Numb to what, exactly?”

I closed my eyes as I thought. What all had I ignored or told myself was normal just because that was how people operated here?

Finally, I gave him an answer. “To everything.”

The look on his face asked me to elaborate on my answer, so I did. “The magic that exists here doesn’t in my world. No one walks around throwing fireballs unless it’s a trick. Most people bathe at least once every other day. Most people can read and write. And for the love of God, _we don’t have two moons!_ And then there is the racism. How do you all go around like it’s nothing? Like it’s normal?”

Zevran laughed. “As sad as it is, Ria, that is how it is here. Just like you say you have been, most people are numb or indifferent to it. But, back to my question.”

“Right. Sorry. Wait...Ria?” I tipped my head to the side. Had I ever had a nickname? The only other names I had been called were never kind.

“Adoria, while a lovely name, is a mouthful, yes?”

I laughed softly and smiled at my friend. “Your question.”

His humorous expression turned serious again. “You have the potential and I can show you how to kill someone quickly in close combat if you are willing.”

I opened my mouth to answer and stopped. Did I want to learn how to kill someone like that? It seemed simple enough, just stab until your opponent stopped moving, but that was incredibly messy. I could _technically_ kill someone with the martial art forms I knew, but most of them were unarmed and I didn’t relish the thought of having to kill someone with my bare hands. While not messy, it was...slow.

I frowned as I laid my hand back in my lap from where it was rubbing at the bruises on my throat.

“You do not have to give me an answer tonight. Think it over and let me know in the morning.”

I nodded my head and wished him a good night before changing to curl under the covers.

Sleep would not be coming to me anytime soon. All I saw when I closed my eyes were the shocked expression on that man’s face and my blood-stained hands.

I sang Recover by Ruelle softly to myself in an attempt to calm my racing thoughts.

**_Can you see me?  
I can barely see myself  
Are we only  
Empty frames up on the shelf?  
It’s like we’re dreaming wide awake  
Everything bends until it breaks  
Can we recover?  
Can we get over this?  
Are we too deep in the night to see the day?  
Can we recover?  
Can we get over this?  
Are we too frozen inside to feel the flame?_ **

When I finished the song, my mind was calmer but I still couldn't sleep. All I could see was that man’s shocked expression and the blood staining my hands.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be stuck at home for a while, so let's see how many chapters I can crank out. I won't have anything else to do. I'm already working on the next one.
> 
> Ugh...I'm antisociable, to begin with, but I think I'm going to go stur crazy.

I woke with harsh gasps and a sweaty brow. Even though the memory of the nightmare was already fading, I knew what I had dreamed about. This was the second time tonight alone that I had woken up in a panic.

My hand groped along the side of the bed, looking for my lamp that normally sat on the bedside table. When my hand went through the air instead of meeting wood, I remembered where I was with a harsh sigh.

_Scratch, scratch._

I frowned at the door and quietly made my way over to it, bare feet padding against the cold stone floor. I had no idea what time it was, this world probably didn’t even have sundials much less clocks. I opened the door just a crack and peeked outside into the tavern’s hallway.

“Borf.” I looked down at the bark and saw Ash, Elissa’s mabari, looking up at me with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. I smiled when I saw his little nub wagging happily.

I opened the door enough for him to come in before shutting it behind him and walking back over to the bed. After I had laid down and made myself comfortable, Ash hopped up on the bed with me and curled up under my arm.

“Are you sleeping with me tonight?” I asked the massive dog. He huffed as an answer and closed his intelligent eyes. I smiled again and buried my face in his scruff. Maybe now I would be able to sleep without nightmares waking me up.

* * *

“I can’t do it,” someone whispered. “This is adorable.”

“Is he not supposed to be a warhound? Or is he a nanny?” another voice asked, this one more masculine than the previous.

“But, look at them,” the first voice responded.

I groaned as I opened my eyes and stared at the two people who interrupted my sleep. Asleep that hadn’t been plagued by nightmares.

Zevran and Leliana smiled down at me, the latter holding out a hand to help me up. I sighed and pulled my arm out from under Ash’s heavy body. The dog made a noise that sounded like disappointment and hopped out of the bed. After a massive yawn and lazy stretch, the dog trotted out of the room, wide awake and ready for the day.

“Wish I could wake up like that,” I mumbled while rubbing at my crusty eyes.

“Do you have an answer?” Zevran asked, a smile pulling at his lips, as always.

I nodded my head. I did have an answer for him. I had, after all, spent hours thinking over his offer. “I would be more than happy to learn from you,” I replied with what could have been considered formal if not for the yawn that interrupted the sentence at the end.

“Estupendo!” he exclaimed and clapped his hands together happily. “Leliana has agreed to help as well.”

I barely registered the last of his words, my mind still caught on the first word he said. Why would he be speaking in Spanish?

“Tú hablas español?” I asked, tentatively.

“Español? No, Antivan,” he responded with an excited glint in his eyes. “You speak Antivan?”

“Um...no? Not quite….” I frowned. “Maybe? My world seems to have an equivalent to what you call Antivan. Only there it’s called Spanish.”

“What other languages do you speak?” Leliana asked, curiosity coloring her voice.

“Je parle aussi francais. Um...E l'italiano, anche se alcuni dicono che è una lingua morta.” I smiled at their shocked faces. “I’m assuming those languages also have a counterpart here.”

“Orlesian and...Tvene, I believe,” Leliana supplied.

I hummed in thought. Although there were familiar languages here, they didn’t bring much comfort of familiarity. Honestly, it just reminded me that I wasn’t home and that this place was so much different.  
“Let’s get on with our day then. What are we doing first?” I asked, standing with a stretch.

Leliana’s smile broadened, “Shopping!”

“What?” I asked in confusion as she yanked on my hand and pulled me after her. Zevran followed behind us at a leisurely pace. “What does shopping have to do with anything?!”

* * *

“This is ridiculous,” I grumbled as I stood with my arms stretched out on either side of me. A dwarven woman was busy getting my measurements as Leliana stood near a rack of weapons with Zevran. Every now and again they would lift up a dagger before putting it back and then repeat the process with another weapon.

The woman stepped back with a polite smile. “All done. Your armor will be ready in a few days. Are there any specific requests?”

I opened my mouth to respond but Zevran started speaking before I could even make a noise. “She will need extra padding on her wrists but nothing that will hinder her movements.”

“The armor should be lightweight. And…,” I narrowed my eyes at my red-headed friend when Leliana and Zevran gave a conspiratorial grin, “flattering.”

“Flattering?” I questioned, lowering my arms as I quickly thanked the woman for her time.

“Next!” Leliana exclaimed instead of answering.

“Wha….” I threw my hands up in exasperation as I followed the two rogues out of the shop.

* * *

I frowned as I looked at the clothes spread out on the bed. There wasn’t that much with a few pairs of pants, shirts, and underwear, but I had thought that we were going to get armor and weapons...not clothes.

“Thank you,” I whispered to my friends who were very proud of themselves for today's shopping spree. Although I had no use for more clothes, I was still very thankful. I had never been able to get more than a few sets of clothes as a child and having someone else _buying_ this stuff for me made me smile at the kind act.

“We’ll start training when your armor is ready. It’s best if you learn how to move in it before anything else,” Zevran stated before leaving the room with Leliana.

I nodded my head and looked back over the clothes laid out. They were the best friends, I swear.

We had spent all day out in the Orzammar Commons jumping between shops and merchants and when Ash came into the room that night to curl under my arm, I realized that I hadn’t thought about that man all day.

I was mostly relieved by the realization, but that small, nagging part of my mind whispered that I was a terrible person for forgetting about him so quickly.

Ash pushed his nose against my forehead and huffed before rolling over, asking for me to rub his stomach. I smiled and complied, although I couldn’t help but silently agree with that quiet voice.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on the next chapter now. We might actually have two in one day. Yay!

“Uh…,” I fought to keep the blush from my face as I took in the armor I had practically been forced into. “I don’t think that this is my...style.”

“Nonsense,” Leliana argued, smiling like she knew something that no one else did. After traveling with her for months I realized that when she smiled like that she was up to something or something had gone her way.

I bent my knees to see how the black, skin-tight leggings would move. I had to keep from twitching as the cloth lining the inside brushed against the scarring wound on my leg. I had quickly learned that the skin around the wound had become very sensitive. Anytime something brushed against it, be it clothes or something else, it felt like someone was running a feather across my nerves. It didn’t actually hurt, if anything it tickled beyond belief, which I found weird. But, then again, weird was becoming my new normal.

The shirt they had me wear was probably the most modest thing in the whole armor set. It was an off-white with sleeves that clung to my arms but weren’t actually skin-tight. It felt like a normal long sleeve shirt with a high neckline. Although the material used was rougher than the fabric used back home. The reinforced leather shoulder harnesses clipped to the lightweight, plated vest that clearly defined my body shape and made...other parts of my body more...noticeable. Thankfully, the vest covered most of my chest and torso. Still, it was very...defining.

The whole outfit was completed with knee-high, plated boots and leather gloves similar to the ones I wore before. “Tell me this is everything,” I pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

“Of course not. We still need to fetch your weapons.” My red-headed friend laughed in glee before dragging me from the store.

What I assumed was originally Zevran’s idea to help me overcome what I had done was quickly taken over by Leliana. She had a superior taste in women's clothing. At least, that’s what she assured me and Zevran the other day when they had taken me shopping.

We stopped in front of a dwarven merchant’s stall and Zevran quickly conversed with him while Leliana stood beside me like a proud parent.

“Why are they staring?” I whispered to Leli as another person walked by us with wide eyes.

“Because of you,” she stated matter of factly.

“Me? Do I look funny?” I questioned, looking down at the armor. I suppose I did look like I was playing dress-up, didn’t I?

“Not in the slightest,” she assured. “Someday you will find someone who makes you more confident in yourself, Adoria.”

I swallowed the scoff that wanted to slip through my lips. Who would ever find me attractive enough to want to date me? No one ever had and no one ever will. I had consigned myself to a life alone in the romantic regard long ago.

“Here you are.” I accepted the daggers Zevran passed to me and examined them.

I knew absolutely nothing about daggers other than to hack and slash while hoping for the best. I did know, however, that the hilts were wrapped in soft leather that matched the sheaths. 

“Where do they go?” I questioned, holding the daggers by the straps of their sheaths.

“Wherever you can reach them easily,” Zevran stated as Leliana joined him beside the table.

“Uh...okay?” I shrugged my shoulders before strapping them to my upper thighs. Thankfully, the top strap barely missed the wound on my leg, else that would be incredibly uncomfortable. There was one more strap that hooked to the belt that secured the daggers in place. Hopefully, it would keep them from sliding down my legs.

I laughed softly at the mental image of trying to reach the daggers and them simply falling to my ankles.

“And a new bow. To replace the one you lost.”

I thanked Leliana and took the bow from her. It looked similar to the one I had before lengthwise, but the wood was darker and the tips were coated in metal that ended in points. I took a breath and drew the bow back, testing the draw strength.

“Perfect.” I grinned as I felt the familiar pull in my arms and shoulders.

I relaxed my stance and accepted the quiver full of arrows and strapped both of them to my back before following the two rogues back to the tavern.

“And now you can begin your training,” Zevran stated.

* * *

“ _Oof_ ,” Zevran grunted as I threw him over my shoulder. He landed on his back, blinking in surprise at the ceiling.

I gasped in shock as I rushed over to check on him. “I’m so sorry! Are you alright?”

He started laughing as he sat up. “No, no. Do not apologize, that was good.”

I frowned but nodded my head. Had he not tried sneaking up on me I wouldn’t have reacted without thinking.

We had been doing this for days now. While Elissa and Alistair were out gathering information and deciding what to do next, I was busy being bruised and tossed around like a rag doll.

Surprisingly, it was actually helping with my nightmares. Being able to kill quickly and almost painlessly eased my conscience greatly. And it turned out that most of the techniques Zevran taught me could be combined with many of the jiu-jitsu techniques I knew, creating my own unique style of combat. It was something that, after the first day, Zevran and Leliana focused greatly on. After all, why not use my previous knowledge and improve upon that?

Now, they were insistent that I learn when someone was trying to sneak up on me. And that training consisted of them jumping out at me at random times in the day, scaring the daylights out of me every time.

They had tried to do the same thing while I was sleeping, but Ash had jumped up and had almost made a chew toy out of Zevran. Needless to say, they hadn’t tried that again.

“What else are we doing today?” I asked, sitting on the floor, cross-legged.

“Same as the previous days. Let us go.”

I nodded and trailed after him.

* * *

I chewed on the meal set before me while Elissa addressed the group.

“Tomorrow, a group of us will be headed into the Deep Roads to find the Aeducan Thaig. We have to find a Lord Dace and convince him to support Bhelen as king,” she sighed and rubbed at her forehead.

“Who are you taking?” I ask, breaking off a piece of bread.

“I have not yet decided.” The smile she gave me made me a bit nervous. “Do you have any ideas?”

“Um...no, not really?” I didn’t mean for my statement to sound like a question. But that was how it sounded and it was clear that Elissa was disappointed by what I had said.

She sighed, “Very well. Wynne, Leliana, and Sten, you three are with me. We will leave in the morning.”

I silently finished my food while a sense of regret settled in the back of my mind. I had never had the option to speak my mind like that before coming here and having the ability to do so now was still strange for me.

Heck, having people actually _asking_ for my opinion was still strange to me.

I wonder if I could ever get used to that.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may make me sound sadistic -and I promise I'm not- but I kind of liked writing this chapter.

I hummed to myself as I read one of the books I had slipped from the Circle library. It was a theory about the Fade that caught my attention within moments of starting it.

Ignoring some of the biased opinions of the author, the book was very informative.

When I felt a prickling along the back of my neck, I turned and glared at Zevran as he tried to sneak up on me. “Really?”

“Yes. You are getting better at noticing when someone is sneaking up on you, but you still have a long way to go. I’ll be back,” he called over his shoulder as he left the room.

“I’m sure you will,” I sighed.

I frowned at one of the sentences as I scanned the runic letters.

_The Veil separates this world from the Fade._

After reading a little further the book started to become more opinionated than informative so I closed it with a frustrated grunt. I was hoping to find something that might help me find a way home. That one sentence stuck with me though. The book made it sound like the Fade and Thedas were two separate worlds connected by the Veil.

I rubbed my head as a headache formed at the base of my neck. I would need to find some type of information that wasn’t dripping in Chantry prejudice.

I winced as the headache expanded rapidly to rest behind my eyes before retreating. On top of the wound that was almost healed, if scarred, these headaches kept coming more often and were a pain to get rid of. It would be amazing if I could learn to control it. And I figured it was possible because they were definitely not normal headaches.

“Of course!” I exclaimed after a few moments of thinking. I jumped to my feet and rushed from the room to find Morrigan.

After searching the main room of the tavern, I went on a manhunt through the rooms until I found her sitting in a chair, reading a book with dark binding.

“Hello,” she greeted, not looking up at me.

“I have a favor to ask,” I stated, not bothering with formalities.

That got her attention. She closed the book and looked up at me with bright eyes. “What is this favor?”

“I can’t ask Wynne and even if I could I don’t think she would be interested in helping me with this. You know magic doesn’t work on me. I figured it was because I didn’t have any connection to the Fade. Whenever this...ability flares up, it feels like a physical force. Almost as if I could control it,” I ranted, hands flying through the air as I spoke.

Morrigan waited until I had finished before speaking. “So you wish for me to help you learn how to control this ability?”

“Yes.”

The dark-haired witch was silent for several minutes as she studied me. I chewed on my lip as I politely waited for her to give me an answer. “Very well. Close the door.”

I grinned happily and did as she asked.

“Sit down and explain to me what it feels like when this happens.”

I nodded my head and sat across from her in the only other chair in the room. “It starts as a headache that forms in my neck. Whenever magic gets close to me it’ll expand outwards almost like a balloon...er- a shield. Like a shield that rests against my skin, almost as if I have another layer of clothing.

“Sometimes it’ll rest behind my eyes and then I can see the air around a person...wavering as if they are a desert mirage. Most of the time the headaches would come and go in minutes but lately, they’ve been hanging around for longer periods of time.”

Morrigan did not say anything for several minutes and simply stared off into space. “This wavering that you talked about, who all do you see it around?”

“Everyone. Well, not everyone. I don’t see it around the dwarves or that Tranquil man in the Circle.”

“Is it stronger around some people? Such as Wynne and myself?”

My brows furrowed as I thought about her question. “Yeah. It is. Does that mean something?”

“I have a theory, but I am unsure. For now, let us try something. This may be painful, but I am going to cast a spell and I want you to try to control your ability.”

“Oh,” I swallowed thickly, nerves clogging my throat. “Okay.”

She nodded her head and held out her hand, palm up and cast a simple fire spell, and brought it close to me. I winced as the headache raged back to life and pulsed in time with my racing heartbeat. “ _Ungh._ ”

“Push outwards. Do not try to contain it,” Morrigan ordered firmly, bringing her hand closer so it was a few inches from my face. “Put out the flames.”

I frowned and tried to do as she said, but the headache had a mind of its own and pushed back, settling around my mind like a dense cloud. I clutched at my head as it felt like my brain was being shaken like a maraca.

“Push back, Adoria.”

“I’m trying,” I whimpered. Every time I tried to force the feeling outwards it was like I just slipped through the fog.

“Try harder. Or are you not taking this seriously?” she asked, her voice taking on a tone of disdain.

My lip lifted in irritation. Could she not see that I was trying? My eyes started watering as I clutched at my head and tried to focus on pushing this damned thing out. I gritted my teeth as I mentally pressed and prodded the cloud surrounding my mind, but nothing happened.

Eventually, the headache receded when Morrigan pulled her hand away. Sweat dried on my brow as I panted and tried to catch my breath. “What did you feel?” she asked.

“A cloud. Or fog. It was like I just slipped through it when I pushed against it,” I stated weakly, exhaustion suddenly sweeping over me.

“Go rest. We will continue this tomorrow.”

“Alright,” I groaned as I stood on shaking limbs.

* * *

“Focus, Adoria!” Morrigan demanded, walking around me while I sat in a chair. She held the fire that danced in her hand close to my face.

My hands clutched at the armrests on the chair as sweat dripped down my brow and that damnable headache tap-danced across my brain.

“Is this safe?” Zevran asked from where he was leaning against the wall. For some reason, he insisted on being there while I learned, although he did not say why.

No one answered him as I hunched over and panted in harsh breaths. 

“Make it to where you can push it out.”

“I’m...trying,” I gritted out, teeth bared like some wild animal.

“Try. Harder.”

Eventually, I had to dart up from the chair and rush over to the closest pot to empty my stomach. I heaved while Morrigan sighed. “We will continue tomorrow.”

I grunted in acknowledgment as Zevran helped me walk back to my room.

“Is this wise?” he asked, holding up the majority of my weight as we shuffled down the hall. “This is clearly hurting you.”

I smiled up at him and nodded my head. “I need to learn how to control this thing. If I do then I have less of a chance of hurting someone like I had done to Wynne in the Tower.”

“If you insist,” he sighed and opened the door to my room. “Do you need any more help?”

“I think I’ve got it from here. Thank you, Zev.”

He bid me goodnight and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

“AH!” I screamed as my knees cracked against the ground. My body curled in on itself as the headache stormed through my mind and something else tried to shred my brain.

“What have you done?!” someone exclaimed. I couldn’t tell who it was or where they were standing from the ringing and echoing in my ears.

“I simply cast a spell. It will either go away on its own or she will dispel it,” another person answered.

I groaned as tears ran from my eyes and my stomach clenched.

The fog that clouded my mind rolled around and tried to force out whatever spell Morrigan had cast on me when I had entered her room. It was a wicked thing that raked through my mind like not knives.

The fog that rested close to my mind tried to keep it out but the spell slipped through it without a moment's thought.

“Push, Adoria,” someone whispered close by, worry coloring their voice.

I didn’t say anything and tugged at my hair as if I could physically pull the spell out.

“Get out,” I pleaded weakly. The fog rolled in response.

_Get out. Get out. Get. Out._

“That’s it,” that same voice whispered again.

_Get out. Get! Out!_

The fog snapped around my mind and solidified before bursting outwards in a wave that I still felt connected to.

“Adoria, that is enough,” I recognized Morrigan’s voice and the undertone of pain that laced it when she spoke. I opened my eyes enough to see that she was on her knees, clutching her head.

The wavering around her that I normally would have been able to see in this state was nowhere to be seen. Even Zevran didn’t have the wavering around him from where he was standing by the door. He did look dizzy, though.

I stood on shaking legs, that solid wave still encasing the room like a bubble. I could even see the radius that the bubble affected. Everything that was more than a yard away seemed to dance like the waves something produces when giving off an incredible amount of heat. Everything else in the bubble, though, was solid and steady. 

“Adoria, stop it,” Morrigan ordered, her face paling.

“Stop...wh-” My vision blurred as the bubble snapped back into me with enough force to send me rocking backward on my feet. When the force settled against my mind, calm like the aftermath of a storm, my vision darkened around the edges.

“Catch her!” someone yelled before the room darkened and my legs finally gave out.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank -and credit- _Eragon95159_ for giving me the idea to make the second prince the king of Orzammar. This gave me even more ideas for the next to books as well, so I really can't thank you enough.

“It was uncalled for!”

“That is what she asked of me!”

“You could have hurt her!”

“And she could have _killed_ me!”

I groaned as I cracked open my eyes.

“Shh,” Leliana soothed as she drug a cold cloth across my forehead, “everything is alright.”

“What happened?” I croaked, forcing my aching body into a sitting position, despite Leli trying to get me to stay lying down.

“Going by what Zevran and Morrigan have told us, you are trying to control your abilities. It ended with you collapsing. You have been asleep for three days.”

I grunted in acknowledgment and accepted the food Leli offered me. It was no surprise that my stomach ached for food. “And the people arguing -let me guess- are Morrigan and Alistair.”

Leliana laughed softly and nodded her head. “You gave us quite a scare, you know? We got back yesterday to find out that you haven’t moved for several days. How do you feel?”

I did a mental check of the state of my body and shrugged my shoulders. “I feel fine. More than fine actually, barring the aching of muscles I didn’t know I had. I feel better than I have since before coming here.”

It wasn’t a lie, either. Noises were clearer as if there was some type of gunk clogging up my ears and now it was gone. A haze that I hadn’t noticed from before was now gone and everything I could see was sharper and more defined. It actually felt like I was myself again. The only thing that threw me off was that I hadn’t noticed the feeling of dissociation until it was gone.

The headache that raged against my skull was no longer bothering me. Instead, the cloud that was present when training with Morrigan had settled against my mind like an old friend. It was comforting and felt like a piece of home.

“That is good then because we have a lot to catch you up on. Are you able to walk?” Leliana stood up and helped me up from the bed.

“I think so.”

We were halfway to the door when it burst open and the rest of our party flowed in.

“Back in bed with you,” Wynne ordered, shooing me back towards the bed.

I sighed but complied. After traveling with the old woman for months, I had learned that there was no use refusing her when she was in healer mood. I had tried one time and it resulted in her threatening to have Sten pin me down while she looked over a wound.

“How do you feel, Ria?” Zevran asked, sitting on the bed beside my legs.

“Absolutely fine. Honestly.”

“That is good then. Maybe Alistair will refrain from killing our resident witch.”

“He could try,” Morrigan griped, tone annoyed.

Elissa rolled her eyes and shushed Alistair before he could respond to the comment. “We can discuss who would win between the two of you later. Adoria, everyone else has met him, but this is Tetrak Aeducan. He was falsely accused of killing his older brother by Bhelen. And we are putting him on the throne.”

The man, Tetrak, walked up to the bed and grabbed my hand. He leaned over it and kissed my knuckles. His dark, and surprisingly long beard, tickled the back of my hand when he spoke, “It is a pleasure to meet the woman everyone was so worried about. I fear I am ill-prepared to compliment you, for no one told me of your beauty.”

I blushed from the roots of my hair down to the tips of my toes. My mouth hung open in shock while I sputtered through a response. “Thank...thank you. Um...heh. No one has said something like that to me before.”

The dwarf smiled and walked back to stand beside Elissa as she started explaining what we needed to do, “We need to prove Tetrak innocent above all else.”

“How do we do that?” Alistair asked, still glaring at Morrigan every now and again.

“Adoria,” Elissa called out.

I looked up from where I was staring at my lap, lost in thought, chewing on my lip. “Yes?”

“Do you have any idea about what we should do? I won’t take no for an answer this time.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at me with a look that said she wasn’t joking.

“Okay,” I whispered, my heart starting to pound in my chest from nerves. Why she was insistent on me speaking up about this, I didn’t know. Whenever I had spoken my thoughts aloud as a child, I had been made fun of and bullied because of them. Eventually, I just stopped speaking about them altogether. Even when I was in college and away from the orphanage for the majority of the time, I hadn’t been able to break that habit.

“Well?” she prompted, smiling gently.

“If Bhelen framed Tetrak, then there has to be evidence of that. A witness, papers, something.” I frowned as a thought occurred to me. “It would be a smart thing to have evidence on Bhelen and Harrowmont in case they don’t step out of the bidding for the throne.”

“We have the papers that we were supposed to give Lord Dace. We took them by the Shaperate and they were proven to be false,” Alistair stated.

“That may not be enough. I haven’t met him, but by the sounds of it, if you want Bhelen out of the race, then there has to be no way he could talk himself out of whatever evidence we gather.”

We bickered back and forth for hours before we came up with a somewhat solid plan.

Elissa, Wynne, Shale, and Ash would be going into the Deep Roads to find the Paragon Branka. Meanwhile, the rest of us would be searching Orzammar for evidence on Bhelen and, hopefully, Harrowmont.

Alistair wasn’t happy about being left behind but after Elissa took him off to the side to talk with him, he left the matter alone.

“Get some rest. My group sets out in the morning,” Elissa ordered. “Tetrak, it’s best if you stay hidden or disguise yourself before you leave the tavern.”

“Of course, Warden,” Tetrak assured and bid everyone a polite goodnight before leaving the room.

The others followed his example while Zevran and Morrigan stayed behind to talk with me.

“I was too busy being threatened to ask you this before, but how are you feeling?” Morrigan asked. It was rare that she ever showed what she was thinking and I was surprised to see concern coloring her features.

“I’m alright. I promise. I feel more like myself than I have in months.”

“That is good.” After a momentary pause, she spoke again, “We have something we would like to discuss with you regarding your abilities.”

My heart sank a little, fearing the worst. “Just because I passed out doesn’t mean that I don’t want to continue learning.”

Morrigan smiled and shook her head. “I do not plan on stopping. In fact, we believe that your ability may go far beyond negating magic.”

I frowned and looked between Morrigan and Zevran. “What do you mean?”

“When you...did whatever you did,” Zevran responded, “I do not think you noticed, but the two of us were forced back by some force that we couldn’t see.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I think we should work more on controlling your effect radius and direction control before worrying about this new development though.” Morrigan continued, “You need to work on being able to summon this ability at a moment’s notice as well.”

“So,” I translated, “a lot of headaches and sleeping like the dead?”

Zevran laughed, “I’m afraid so, my friend. But for now, enjoy your rest. We will leave you be.”

We bid each other goodnight and they left me to my rest.


	17. Chapter 17

Elissa and her group had left for the Deep Roads early in the morning, tracking a lead that would hopefully help them find the Paragon Branka. While the rest of us could hopefully gather enough proof against Bhelen and Harrowmont to make Tetrak king, having the backing of a Paragon would ensure that he could take the throne unopposed.

“Where should we start?” Alistair asked as he dug into the food placed on the stone table in front of us.

The cavernous room smelled strongly of ale and something earthy that I couldn’t place my finger on. Most of the dim light was provided by the fire blazing in the massive hearth near the door. Surprisingly enough, the stone seats were not as uncomfortable as I had thought they would be, although I did miss cushioned chairs more than anything sometimes.

“The man who served as Balen’s key witness was Frandlin Ivo. He should be still alive and if we can find him, we can try to convince him to testify against Bhelen,” Tetrak stated. “I fought against him in the Provings the same day we were to leave for the Deep Roads.”

“The Provings?” I looked up from my plate.

Tetrak flashed a smile. “The Provings are a tournament of a sort used to settle debts and matters of honor. It is a very important part of dwarven culture.”

I nodded my head in understanding. “Got it.”

“Do you know where we may find this Frandlin Ivo?” Zevran spoke up from the other side of me.

“He is of the Noble Caste, so he should be in the Diamond Quarter.”

I played with the end of my braid as the others talked over one another, trying to figure out what to do. Morrigan and Alistair started arguing within mere seconds. Leliana tried to get them to calm down while Zevran leaned back in his chair with a bored expression. Sten was silent as always and merely glared in annoyance at the commotion.

“Do they always argue like this?” Tetrak asked, dark brown eyes flashing in amusement and mild concern.

I sighed. “Sadly. They fight like an old married couple.”

“Be thankful they did not hear you, my friend,” Zevran joked. I shot him an amused smile and tried to ignore the argument going on from across the table.

“Either way, we need a plan to find Ivo. Do you know where his house is?”

Tetrak nodded his head in answer to my question. “Great. Go put on your disguise, then. We have a dwarf to track down.”

“Of course, my lady.”

After Tetrak came back with leather armor and a hooded cloak -which was anticlimactic- I asked Leliana and Zevran to come with me while Morrigan and Alistair continued arguing. I half expected Tetrak to shave his beard or to maybe dye his hair, but I had to remind myself that they didn’t have a way to dye hair and there was no way I was going to be able to convince a dwarf to shave their beard. I might as well have been wishing for a unicorn.

“Sten,” the giant looked over at me, “if they end up coming to blows, please stop them. We’ll be back soon.”

He just grunted in acknowledgment and turned back to sharpening his sword. I smiled and thanked him before setting out.

The tavern was surprisingly cool compared to the temperature of the air outside. Well, as outside as you could get when living in the belly of a mountain. I imagined the rivers of magma -or would it be considered lava?- had something to do with that.

“Do they have air vents in the mountainside?” I asked Tetrak as I looked over the walkway at the blindingly bright semi-liquid river many, many yards below us. I looked away after a few seconds when my retinas started to feel like they were burning. I blinked rapidly to get rid of the spots dancing in my vision.

“We do, actually. How do you know about that? We do not tell many people.”

“Magma gives off a poisonous gas that makes it hard to breathe. If we were closer to the rivers you would probably be able to smell sulfur, like rotten eggs. Anyway, I was just asking because if you don’t have a fresh air supply then this entire city would probably die.”

“That is an awfully dark thing to say,” Zevran quipped.

I shrugged as we made our way past the many stone tables and merchants yelling at passerby’s to buy their wears.

When we finally made it to the Diamond Quater there was a very noticeable difference between it and the Commons. Just based on the feeling in the air. The Commons felt warmer and more lively while the Diamond Quater just felt stifling.

“This place is...dismal,” I whispered to myself as we passed by houses much grander than the ones in the Commons. There was no one on the streets calling out their prices or people conversing with one another contently. Instead, criers yelled out propaganda to the listening groups of nobles.

“It is sad to see my people reduced to this,” Tetrak sighed. I reached over and patted him on the back in sympathy.

He led us to a house that wasn’t as grand as the others and was located closer to the entrance to the Commons rather than the Assembly. “This is it. Their house is in decline so they are not as well off as the other nobles.”

“Alright. Time to put on my acting skills.” I put on a polite smile and knocked on the door before folding my hands in front of me in the least threatening position possible.

“Hello,” I greeted when a dwarven man opened the door, “my name is Adoria and I am a travel companion to the Grey Warden Elissa. Would Frandlin Ivo happen to be available?”

“Frandlin Ivo is not currently here at the moment-” the man started to reply before he was interrupted by another man’s voice.

“Who is there? I heard someone ask about my son.” An older man with a long gray beard and tired eyes came to the door after dismissing his steward. “Who are you and why are you asking about my idiot son?”

“Greetings, Lord Ivo. I am Adoria and I am a travel companion to the Grey Warden Elissa. I am looking for your son on behalf of the Warden.” 

Not technically a lie, either. Elissa had asked that we gather evidence of Bhelen’s corruption and that was what we were doing by finding Frandlin Ivo.

“Good luck finding him,” the man huffed. “The boy was so determined to save our house and now he is in trouble.”

I colored my face with sympathy. “Would you happen to know where he might have gone?”

“I have no idea. But if you do find him, kick him in his ass for me and send him back home.”

I smiled. “Of course.”

Lord Ivo shut the door and I walked back to the rest of the group. Leliana commented, “Impressive. You handled that well.”

I snorted. “That’s one thing people don’t expect, is for me to have acting skills. When you grew up like I did you learned to hide reactions and emotions.”

“That is sad,” Zevran frowned, “but useful nonetheless.”

I shrugged. “It is what it is. Where to next?”

“We could try Bhelen’s second,” Leliana proposed, “Vartag Gavorn.”

I chewed on my lip as I stared at the carved walkway beneath us. “It couldn't hurt to try. But, it is dangerous for Tetrak to be anywhere near someone who would recognize him.”

“I can go back to the tavern and wait. There is Chamber of the Assembly,” he pointed to a grand building entrance stationed at the top of an elegantly carved dais. “If he is not there, try searching the palace.”

“I will go with him in the event that we run into trouble. Try not to get into trouble,” Zevran joked as he and Tetrak walked away.

“Trouble? Me?” I looked over at Leliana with a faux shocked expression.

Leli laughed. “You attract trouble, I’m afraid.”

I frowned before nodding my head in agreement. “Not on purpose, I promise.”

* * *

We walked through the entrance of the Assembly and Leliana quietly pointed out a man with the shortest beard I’ve seen on a dwarf by far. He was talking with several other nobles quietly in a dim corner of the entrance hall.

Without missing a beat, I scanned the Assembly Chamber as if I was looking for someone before walking to the nearest dwarf. 

“Excuse me.” The woman turned to me with her nose pointed in the air. I was sure that it wasn’t because she had to look up to see my face, either. “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m looking for a Vartag Gavorn.”

The woman sniffed in disdain. “They let anyone into our city now, it seems. He is over there, now be on your way.”

“Thank you,” I flashed a very fake smile and walked towards Balen’s second.

When the nobles he was conversing with saw Leliana and me approaching they scurried away to feed off of the gossip of the other people in the room. Although, I noticed that they were still within earshot so they could overhear our conversation if they wanted to. 

Vartag turned to look at us and the way he scanned us made me highly uncomfortable, but I ignored the look and asked, “Are you Vartag Gavorn?”

“That I am. And who is asking?” Even his voice was shady. Politics sure knew how to pick people.

“My name is Adoria and this is Leliana. We are friends and travel companions of the Grey Warden Elissa.”

“Ah. And how is the Warden?” he asked and gestured for us to take a seat on one of the stone benches on the opposite side of a low stone table, facing the wall.

I smiled politely and walked past the table and sat on the bench against the wall, giving Leliana and me a clear view of the rest of the room. Another thing that I learned in the orphanage: never turn your back on someone who could hurt you.

“The Warden is looking for a Paragon to back the true King of Orzammar at the moment.”

“And who would that be?” Vartag asked. I silently cursed. I was hoping he wouldn’t ask something like that. Oh well, time to act coy.

I smiled and laughed gently, like a proper lady. “That is the matter in debate at the moment, isn’t it? I assume it will be whomever the Paragon decides to support. But I did not come here to discuss that. Elissa supported Bhelen shortly after coming to Orzammar and, as a favor to her, we are looking into the missing son of Lord Ivo.”

Again, I didn’t lie. Elissa _supported_ -past tense- Balen before finding Tetrak in the Deep Roads. And Branka may not know what was going on in Orzammar at the moment so she may be able to be persuaded to support Tetrak. Technicalities were a wonderful thing sometimes.

“Why are you looking for Frandlin?” he asked, sitting down opposite of us.

“We heard of his disappearance through Elissa and hoped to put his father’s mind at ease by finding him,” Leliana spoke softly. “His father was upset when we talked to him about Frandlin.”

“You can go back to Lord Ivo and tell him that his son is safe,” Vartag waved a hand in dismissal. “He got into a small amount of trouble and Prince Bhelen put Frandlin under the protection of some associates since his house is a loyal supporter.”

“Thank you very much.” I smiled and stood with Leliana. “This will put his father’s mind at ease, I’m sure.”

After we left the Assembly, I huffed out a deep breath and checked my brow of any sweat. “That was stressful,” I sighed.

“You did well. We should go to Orlais to see how you play the Grand Game,” Leliana laughed at my discomfort.

“Yeah...no. Not happening. I’ll end up getting stabbed.” The horror storied Leliana had shared about the Game really made me believe that getting stabbed would be a likely possibility for me.

Leliana laughed again while we stopped back by Lord Ivo’s mansion to tell him about what Vartag had said about his son. Only to keep up appearances, of course. Ever since leaving the Assembly, I could feel eyes on us as we walked.

The feeling only disappeared after we entered the tavern and I was never more thankful at that moment for Zevran’s and Leliana’s stealth training.


	18. Chapter 18

I sighed as I watched Alistair pace back and forth. He had been furious when he learned about us leaving to find a lead on Frandlin Ivo.

“Alistair,” I called out, trying to get his attention, “nothing happened to us. And we learned some valuable information.”

“That is not the point,” he grumbled. “You shouldn’t have gone off by yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. “I was hardly by myself.”

He turned and glared at me. “And what would have happened if you were? If Govorn had tried to kill you?” His voice steadily rose until he was close to yelling. “You should have taken everyone with you. You are too-”

“What?” I snapped, voice cold. I heard the conversation around us come to a complete stop as I slowly rose from my seat.

“Adoria-”

“No,” I cut off Leliana. “Let him finish. I’m what, Alistair?”

“Nothing.” He crossed his arms over his chest and refused to look at me.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s fine. But I know what you were going to say. And here’s what I have to say to you.” I walked around the table until I was toe to toe with him. “Elissa trusted us with this and I intend to carry out her wishes because she has been a great friend and because Bhelen would suck ass as a king. I simply focused on what needed to be done, instead of bickering like school children.

“It is fine if you call me weak. I don’t care. I think that to myself almost every day. But I refuse to let Elissa down simply because I can’t get along with the people I travel with. Now if you will sit your ass down so we can finish discussing our plan, I would greatly appreciate it.”

When I was finished with my rant Alistair silently sat down, an almost dazed expression on his face.

I could stand being called weak. It was something that I grew up hearing. What I didn’t like was that, instead of helping us, Morrigan and Alistair wanted to bicker and argue and then Alistair wanted to be angry about not helping. Had he just acted like a mature adult then he would have been able to go with us, but no. And then he wanted to take it out on me.

I huffed out a breath and straightened my vest before turning to face the table. “Anyone else want to take their anger out on me? No? Good. We need to find Frandlin Ivo. Any idea where he would be hiding?”

I looked around the table to find everybody looking at me in shock. The only people who looked unaffected were Sten and Morrigan. “What?”

“I do not know if I should be scared or happy you are becoming confident enough to defend yourself,” Zevran stated.

I shook my head and ignored his comment. “Any idea where Frandlin would be?”

Tetrak spoke up and, thankfully, but the conversation back on track, “If Gavorn said he was being protected by associates, we could try Dust Town, on the lower tier of the city. If we can’t find him there, we might be able to find some more information on him.”

“Then tomorrow we head to Dust Town. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

I left my still half-full plate and went back to my room, anger lacing my every step.

When the door shut behind me, I started unlacing my vest and slipping it off, followed by the shoulder harnesses, boots, and gloves. I rolled my shoulders and did a few simple stretches before a knock on the door and me walking back across the floor.

“Yes?” I asked -well, more like demanded- when I saw Alistair standing on the other side.

“I just wanted to say that I was sorry for what I said. After what happened with that darkspawn and the Taint I just….” He frowned and scratched at the back of his neck. “I worry about you. Had you seen what you looked like when you had the Taint, you would worry, too.”

I sighed and felt the tension drain from my shoulders before smiling up at him. “I do understand, Alistair, but I’m not going to break if I walk outside. And I’m sorry for how I reacted. My temper got the best of me and it wasn’t how I should have handled things.”

“Right, so how do we end this mushy moment because these things don’t normally happen to me.” I laughed at his usual dorkiness before hugging him.

“Hugs normally work. At least where I’m from.”

“Hugs then.”

“Excuse me,” someone called out.

I pulled out of the warm embrace and looked at Morrigan in curiosity. “Yeah?”

“I hope you were not planning on getting out of training.”

“Aw man,” I whined. “Well, goodnight then Alistair. Time to be experimented on.”

“What-”

“It’s a joke. I promise,” I smiled and let Morrigan into the room. “What are we working on today?”

“Bringing forth that shield at will.”

* * *

The next day, I frowned as I looked around Dust Town.

I had thought that the Commons were different from the Diamond Quarter. This place was nothing but crumbling buildings filled with thugs, the sick, and the homeless. “This is where the casteless live?”

“Yes.” Going by Tetrak’s body language he was uncomfortable being here.

“Is there any way that they can change their caste?” I questioned as we passed by a gaggle of children. I walked over to the closest child who was brave enough not to run away and pulled out several coins.

“I will give this to you if you share it with the other children, alright?” The young boy nodded his head and snatched the handful of gold before running away. It broke my heart to see these people suffering like this.

“No, there isn’t. I had planned to change that before being falsely accused. Now that I have a chance to gain the throne that has not changed,” Tetrak vowed.

I nodded my head. “I hope you can. The true character of a city is found in their least happy citizens.”

I looked around at the several people staring at us, trying to find someone who would have the information we were looking for.

“Does everyone remember the description Tetrak gave us of Frandlin?” After everyone nodded their heads, I continued, “Let’s spread out, then, and start asking around. Be careful though, this place makes me nervous.”

Tetrak, Zevran, and Alistair followed me as I walked up to a dwarven woman sitting on the ground. “Hello,” I greeted.

“I’d stand to greet you, but I’m afraid I can’t. What do you want?” she asked, although her tone wasn’t unkind. She looked like someone who has had too much happen to her and didn’t want to put up with bull crap anymore.

“We’re looking for a man. He has a long dark brown beard, short hair, and dark eyes. Would you happen to know him or where he may be?”

“Sweetie, you just described every dwarf there is.”

I laughed and nodded my head. “Fair enough.”

Reaching into my pocket I bent down in front of her and passed it over. Even I -who had no experience bribing people- knew when someone wanted money. “How about this: his name is Frandlin Ivo.”

She eyed the silver coins for several seconds before swiping them from my hand in the blink of an eye. “He’s been put under the protection of Jarvia, the Carta. You need to get a finger bone token to unlock the doors.”

“Thank you.” We left her to herself and reconvened with the rest of the group.

“We need to find a finger bone token, whatever that is,” I sighed. “Did you guys find anything-”

“Hey,” someone called out from further down the road, near a house with a decrepit facade. “Come here.”

I glanced at the others, not trusting the shady-looking man trying to get our attention. Zevran shrugged and he and Alistair walked forward while the rest of us followed.

“I hear you asking about Jarvia. I can help. Come with me.”

He didn’t wait for an answer before disappearing into the building behind him. “Trap?” I asked no one in particular.

“Trap,” Leliana agreed.

Zevran laughed, his voice taking on a slightly crazy tint, “Most definitely.”

“One would think thugs had more sense than to take on a group this well-armed,” Sten sighed.

“The house is too small for everyone to fit in there,” I stated, glancing over the building.

“Tetrak, Sten, Zevran and I will go in. The rest of you stay out here and watch our backs. Make sure no one tries to sneak up on the building,” Alistair ordered, pulling out his sword and shield.

The three of us tried to look as casual as possible but shortly after screams of pain started coming from the house, several dwarves swarmed around the building, weapons drawn.

“Lovely,” I sighed.

I pulled out my bow and started firing beside Leliana, while Morrigan threw balls of fire or shards of ice at the approaching mob. When the mod got closer, I discarded the bow in favor of my daggers. It was time to see if all of that training would be put to good use.

I deflected the blade of one dwarf while spinning and brought my other dagger around, stabbing him in his throat from the side. The moment he went down two others started circling around me. I frowned and moved with them, trying to keep them in my line of sight, but one of them ended up behind me while the other one was smirking in triumph.

I could hear the dirt crunching under the weight of the one behind me as he charged forward and the one in front of me did the same. I waited until the last possible moment to roll to the side and winced as the man that was behind me ended up stabbing the other guy in the chest, piercing his armor and effectively killing him.

Without thinking too much about it, I used his shock to slip behind him and drag my daggers across his throat. I swallowed the bile that rose into my mouth and turned away, fighting off the waves of nausea.

I jumped out of my skin when a hand landed on my shoulder. “It is alright,” Zevran soothed. “You did well, Ria.”

I smiled weakly and asked, “Find the token?”

“We did. Let us go find Frandlin and this Jarvia.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, “let’s get this over with. I have a bath calling my name after we’re done.”

We searched around the ruined buildings of Dust Town until we found a slot that the finger bone would fit into. The door swung open and we all walked into the surprisingly well-lit, cavernous tunnel.

“This is kind of foreboding,” I whispered, bow notched and ready to fire.

Leliana patted my shoulder as a form of comfort as we made our way into the Carta’s hideout.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much. It makes me so happy when you leave kudos and comments saying that you've enjoyed the story. You guys are the best!
> 
> Oh, and here is the link to the song _A Million Dreams by P!ink_ that I do not, nor claim to, own: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSBzMU1QyO8

We went through room after room filled to the brim with thugs, Carta members, and, surprisingly, mercenaries of other races. The more rooms we cleared out the harder my stomach rolled at the sight of the carnage left behind.

“I do hope this is the last room,” Morrigan sighed as Sten and Alistair charged through the door at the end of the hall.

“Me too. I’m ready for a nap,” I huffed, bow drawn as we followed behind them.

The room was a bloodbath by the time we crossed the threshold. Alistair, Sten, and Tetrak were handling the majority of the close-ranged fighters at bay while Zevran danced between them, killing as he pleased.

“I don’t think they needed our help,” I mumbled to myself, firing at the long-ranged fighters.

When the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, I jumped sideways, narrowly avoiding two daggers aimed for my lungs. On instinct, I swung the bow around and hit the person square in the forehead. The sharp metal points on the ends broke through the skin and I could feel the bone crack from the force of the blow.

That was what finally had my stomach coming up my throat.

I rushed over to the wall and leaned against it, gagging as I vomited what little I had in my stomach. I stayed in that position for a few moments, trying to catch my breath as my stomach settled.

The sound of someone yelling had me standing back up. “Wait! Wait, wait, wait!”

I turned and saw a man lying on the ground, holding out a hand as if it would stop the blade Sten held overhead. There was a trail of blood running down from a cut on his forehead and his eyes darted frantically from side to side.

“Frandlin Ivo,” Tetrak sneered.

“Prince Tetrak?!” the man, Frandlin, shouted. “You should be dead! What are you doing here?”

Tetrak picked the man up by the top piece of his armor. “If you had your way I would be,” he growled. “You will testify against Bhelen, confess what he did -what you did- and we let you live.”

The man frailed for a moment before nodding his head in rapid succession. “Fine! Alright! I will!”

I walked over to them on wobbling legs as Tetrak put Frandlin back down. “Let me look at your head. Meanwhile, find something to cover his face with. A cloak, a helmet, something.”

Frandlin sat still, staring at Sten from where he was looming over my shoulder. I probed the wound with my fingers gently before checking for signs of a concussion. “You’ll be alright. Just don’t go to sleep until later today and I’ll look over you again. How did you get mixed up with Jarvia?”

Frandlin eyed me suspiciously before responding, “Vartag Govorn sent me to Dust Town. He told me that I was to meet with some associates of his. I was waiting by the entrance to the middle tier when they grabbed me. They said that they had been ordered to _protect_ me. I think Bhelen just wanted me out of the way and I’m sure the order came from him.”

“That’s what happens when you mix yourself up with the wrong people,” I warned before moving away from him when Leliana came back with a well-worn cloak. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t like this place.”

“Agreed.” Morrigan sneered at the blood-stained ground as we searched for a way out.

* * *

“Thank you so much.” I smiled as I tipped the woman who brought in the bath. “You are a saint.”

“You're welcome, my lady.” The woman bowed and left the room, pocketing the tip I gave her for this wonderful thing.

When I first came here I insisted on bathing every other day much to the confusion of my travel companions. Sadly, that soon became too much of a hassle on the open road where all I had access to was cold creeks. So I had to bathe whenever I absolutely needed to. That didn’t mean that I didn’t hit essential areas every night before bed, though.

Oral hygiene was an entirely different thing. I couldn’t figure out how to make freaking toothpaste so I decided to make a mouthwash with elfroot, a lot of peppermint, and other herbs that helped keep my mouth clean and my breath smelling good. It, surprisingly, helped to keep my teeth white, too. I even made a bottle for Leliana and Morrigan when they had asked for some.

I sighed blissfully as I sank up to my neck in the almost scalding water. “This is heaven,” I whispered into the air.

Haircare was something that took even longer to figure out. Sure, people here had oils and soap that I was sure made skin cells commit suicide, but that stuff had dried my hair out in a matter of hours. So, after figuring out how to extract oils from plants -which was a pain when your house is a tent on the side of the road- I made my own hair care products out of peppermint, lavender, and rosemary. I used mainly peppermint because I both loved the smell and the plant was what I came across the most out of the three. I had slipped some elfroot into the mix at one point and my hair never looked better.

I poured some of the oil into my hand and scrubbed my scalp with the pads of my fingers, breathing in the steam as it rose from the water. I grabbed a bar of honey soap that a person in Redcliffe sold me and gently scrubbed at my skin while the oil soaked into my hair.

After I was done, I ducked under the water and stayed there for a moment before coming back up for air. I leaned back in the tub and just relaxed as the water slowly cooled.

I sang _A Million Dreams by P!nk_ to myself as the tension from today drained from my limbs, leaving me limp and ready for bed.

_**  
"‘Cause every night I lie in bed  
The brightest colors fill my head  
A million dreams are keeping me awake  
I think of what the world could be  
A vision of the one I see  
A million dreams is all it’s gonna take  
Oh, a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make** _

_**However big, however small  
Let me be a part of it all  
Share your dreams with me  
We may be right, we may be wrong  
But I wanna bring you along to the world see  
The world I close my eyes to see  
We close our eyes to see-"  
** _

_Click._

My head snapped to the side as I heard the door lock. The woman who was kind enough to bring the bath in was standing there with her hand on the door. I blushed as I covered myself with my arms and asked, “Did you need something?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she walked closer to the tub. The feel of the room changed from warm and relaxing to frightening and confusing as she got closer. 

“You were so nice and you sang so beautifully. They said to make it look like an accident. No traces. Ancestors, please forgive me for this,” she pleaded, hands shaking.

“Wha-” I tried to jump out of the tub, nakedness forgotten. But she was faster and gripped my shoulders before shoving me under the surface of the water.

My hands flailed as I tried to grab onto something. The water rushed around my ears as my eyes closed tightly. The pressure built in my lungs as my air supply started to run out. I refused to even open my mouth to scream, knowing it was pointless.

_Shit! Think, Adoria! Think!_

My eyes stung when I opened them. The light from the braziers burning in the corner of the room fractured and danced through the water, distorting my vision even further.

_Zevran! Of course!_

I reached my hands up and dug my nails into the woman’s wrist. She yanked her hands backward and I took my chance to shoot out of the water. I didn’t bother trying to get out of the tub. I was naked and the woman probably had a weapon on her, so there was no way I would be able to fight her. And I had a very slim chance of overpowering her. I knew that just by the strength she used to hold me under.

Instead, the moment my mouth breached the water, I took a deep breath and screamed at the top of my heaving lungs, “ZEVRAN!”

“Fuck,” the woman cursed before shoving me back under.

I hoped he heard me. At least I was able to get a few breaths in before being shoved back under. I would be able to hold on for a moment more. Who knew, maybe I would get lucky and be able to kick her ass. Somehow…

God, please let him have heard me.

* * *

**_Zevran’s P.O.V._ **

He jumped up from the seat he was sitting in, conversing with his fellow travel companions when he heard his name being yelled from Adoria’s room.

He rushed down the hall, a sense of something amiss urged him on. When he reached her door, he could hear thrashing and sounds of struggle on the other side. His worry soared when he tried the door handle and found it locked.

“Alistair! Sten!”

The two men rushed to the door, hearing the panic in his voice. “The door is locked. I think Adoria is in trouble.”

The two men stood side by side before slamming their shoulders into the door. The wood groaned and splintered, but did not break.

“Hold on, Ria!” Zevran called out, hoping she heard him.

Morrigan came around the corner with her staff in hand, Leliana right behind her. The witch charged up a spell and ordered, “Move.”

Alistair and Sten jumped out of the way shortly before a ball of stone slammed into the door, another one following shortly after it, finally breaking the door open.

The group rushed into the room, the two warriors going after the person that was standing over the tub. The woman cried, “Too late. You were too late.”

His heart sank to the floor as he rushed over to the tub and yanked Adoria out of the water. Her smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks stood out against her paler than normal skin and her lips were purple instead of their normal pink.

Someone handed him the blanket to wrap around her as the other woman was detained. Glaring, he looked at the pathetic excuse for an assassin. “Do not kill her. Yet.”

“What happened?” Tetrak asked as he entered the room before stopping short. “Oh, no.”

Alistair and Sten drug the woman out of the room after binding and gagging her, both of them refusing to look at Adoria. Leliana stood to the side, staring in shock, mouth agape. Morrigan could not look in the direction of her body and had her arms crossed while staring at her feet. Tetrak had silently left the room after offering an apology.

He did not know who had wanted her dead. But he would find out and they would suffer before they died. 

“I promise you that,” he whispered, still holding her unmoving body.

The three of them stood there for a moment, silent at the passing of their friend before Zevran jumped when he felt her sides expand beneath his hands.

Her eyes flew open as she gasped for air before rolling over to her side, landing on her hands and knees. She vomited up the water in her lungs as she fought for breath, eyes dancing around in panic before they landed on the others in the room.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she choked out a broken sob while she curled in on herself.

“You are alright now,” he soothed, rubbing her back as she continued jumping between sobs and coughs. Her ribs and back heaved under his hand.

Leliana walked over to her and kneeled beside her, uncaring of the pool of water and mucus on the floor. She wrapped the blanket around her friend before pulling her into a hug. “I will sleep with you tonight. I will not let anything happen to you.”

“Neither will I,” Zevran promised.

Morrigan walked closer and gave Adoria a rare smile. “I believe it goes without saying that I will also protect you, should you need it.”

“Thank you,” she rasped, voice raw as she gave a wobbly smile.


	20. Chapter 20

I sat at the table, Leliana and Zevran sitting on either side of me, close enough that our elbows were almost touching.

It’s been five days since that woman tried killing me and no one has let me out of their sight for more than two minutes. And even then, that was only to use the restroom. Leliana and Zevran took turns sleeping in my room. Sten and Alistair would sit closest to the doors when we were eating our meals. Although we sat in the back of the tavern.

Their concern warmed my heart, it really did, and I felt safe when around them. But, Lord help me, it was getting stifling. They hadn’t let me leave the back of the inn since that day.

We learned from the woman that Vartag Govorn had hired her to kill me. He didn’t want anything to trace back to him. Pairing that with Frandlin Ivo as a witness to testify that Bhelen framed Tetrak, and the papers Elissa was supposed to give Lord Dace, we probably had enough evidence to clear Tetrak’s name.

I still wanted at least one more piece of evidence against Balen, though, just to be on the safe side.

“What are you thinking?” Zevran asked, leaning back in his chair.

“Hm?” I stopped chewing on my lip and looked up at him, trying to act innocent. He simply raised an eyebrow. I sighed and smiled sheepishly. “I think we need more evidence against Balen.”

Alistair's head snapped up from where he was sharpening his sword. “What more could we need?”

I shrugged and shrunk into myself, thinking of what else we could use against him. I knew next to nothing of dwarven culture, though. Although… I looked up at Tetrak from where he was sitting across the table, conversing with Morrigan.

When he caught me looking at him and flashed a smile and asked, “Is there something I can help the pretty lady with?”

I ignored his comment and nodded my head. “You said that the Provings were an important part of dwarven culture, right?”

“Yes, they are. Why?” His voice took on a suspicious tone.

“How do I ask this?” I mumbled to myself before responding to him. “Is there a law against...anything in the Provings? A law that, if broken, will result in disgrace?”

“If you are asking if people have fixed Provings before, then yes. And yes, it generally ends badly for the person it is traced back to.”

I grinned. “If Bhelen is this corrupt, how much do you want to bet he’s fixed Provings before?”

“No,” Alistair spoke up. “I know what you are thinking, and no. You will be staying here until Elissa gets back and we can leave.”

I frowned at him. “I appreciate the concern Alistair, I really do, but we need more evidence against Balen. So far we’re only able to link Frandlin directly back to Balen and all that will do is _maybe_ clear Tetrak’s name. We need something that will get Balen out of the race for the throne.”

“That is where the Paragon comes in. When we have her support, we can put this all behind us,” he argued, eyes flashing in challenge.

“We both know that Elissa may not find her. She’s been missing for so long.”

“Elissa always finishes what she starts. She will find the Paragon, we will have the support we need for Tetrak, and we are done talking about this!” He stood up, stone chair screeching along the floor before he stormed off.

It was a wonder that we haven’t gotten kicked out yet.

I childishly stuck my tongue out in the direction he disappeared. “Anyone want to sneak out with me?”

“I am afraid I am with Alistair on this one, Ria.” Zevran patted my shoulder.

“As am I.” Leliana gave me an apologetic smile.

“Morrigan?” She shook her head. “But, you never listen to Alistair.”

I opened my mouth to ask Sten but he refused before I could even get the words out. Even Tetrak -the whole reason we were gathering evidence in the first place- refused. I huffed, “Fine. I’ll go by myself. It’s the big building in the middle, right?”

“Adoria, I think it would be best if you just waited-”

I glared at Tetrak to shut him up. “I don’t want to hear it.”

I grabbed my daggers from the table and shoved them into their sheaths before storming towards the door. I got to the end of the hall when I was picked up and tossed over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Put me down,” I ordered, kicking my legs out and hitting the person on the back.

“No,” was Alistair’s simple response.

He wasn’t wearing his armor so I used my core strength to sit up and bring my elbow down on his shoulder. His arm went slack and I dropped to the floor. I glared up at him as I shoved him away from me. He rubbed at his shoulder and matched my glare with his own. “I’ll say it slowly, so everyone can understand. I. Am. Go-ing.”

When Alistair shrugged I had thought that he might have let me go. Instead, he swooped down and picked me up again. “No! Dammit! Swooping is bad! Put me down!”

He walked back down the hall until we were at my room and deposited me in front of the door. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me, waiting for me to move, or do something. The threat was clear though: if you can’t stay in the tavern, then you’ll be locked in your room.

“Will you really not let me go?” I asked, arms dropping to my side.

His angry glare softened as he took in my defeated look. “No, I will not let you leave. Not after the other day.”

“I’m not going to break if I go outside, we’ve been over this.”

“You were here, in this room, when you almost died,” he stated, flinging out a hand to point to the room behind us.

I winced. “I know that. But if you all keep me locked I’m going to go crazy.”

He sighed and looked at the floor before shaking his head. “Fine. We will go tomorrow.”

I beamed up at him before wrapping my arms around his middle to hug him. “Thank you, Ali.”

He returned the hug before leaving, heading back to the others. I glanced down the hall, towards the main room of the tavern -and the front door. It was tempting, but I wouldn’t betray anyone's trust like that, so I followed after Alistair and rejoined the rest of the party.

* * *

I looked around the main room of the Provings arena. The ceiling stretched far above us in the shape of a dome, causing all of the ruckus and commotion of the arena to echo in a cacophony of noise.

I could see Zevran wince from beside me. “You alright?”

“I will be fine. It is just...loud in here.”

“Yeah, it is. Where should we start?”

“Try Harrowmont’s fighters,” Tetrak stated, looking over a wooden board with names listed on sheets of parchment. “Bhelen would need to win the Provings to prove he had the ancestor’s favor. Which means he would need to intimidate, blackmail, or outright kill Harrowmont’s fighters.”

“Let’s start with this Baizyl Harrowmont since he has the same last name. Maybe he’ll be able to give us information.” The others agreed readily enough and we tracked down the man and found him sitting in an alcove with a defeated air hanging around him.

“Who’s going with me?” I asked, making sure that I didn’t look threatening -which was close to impossible. I didn’t have muscles bulging out of my armor and I certainly didn’t look like I could track down your family just by your face, so it wasn’t hard to accomplish.

“I will.” Zevran stepped forward as the others dispersed around the room.

“Hello, are you Baizyl Harrowmont?” I asked, sitting on the stone bench directly across from him.

“Who are you?” he demanded, hand reaching for his weapons.

“I would think before doing that, friend,” Zevran warned, hands going to his daggers.

The man looked between the glare Zevran was giving him and my pleading face before dropping his hands from his weapons. “What do you want?”

“We’re travel companions of the Grey Warden Elissa-”

He snorted, interrupting me. “Don’t bother. I know she supports Bhelen and he has already got his way. I’ve dropped out so go bug someone else.”

I frowned and tipped my head to the side. “You’ve dropped out?”

“Don’t play coy,” he sneered. “Those twins have the letters, it’s all over now.”

“I’m sorry for bothering you, we’ll be leaving.” I smiled politely and left the alcove.

I turned to Zevran when we were out of earshot. “I told y’all.”

We gathered with the rest of the group in front of the board with names on it. “Baizyl is being blackmailed by some letters. He said something about twins.”

“Another Harrowmont fighter was convinced to back out of the fights. We convinced him that what he had been told was false.” Leliana smiled. “We also convinced him to give a written statement about what he was told and by who.”

“That’s great. Now...who are these twins?” I asked, looking over the board.

Tetrak reached over and pointed to two names. “Myaja and Lucjan. Twins are rare amongst dwarves and those two are the only ones who fight in the Provings.”

“Now...how to find the letters. I doubt they would carry them around in their back pocket.”

“The fighters are given rooms in the arena. Perhaps there would be a good place to start?” Tetrak offered with a shrug.

“Awesome. Let’s go.” I turned to head in the direction I assumed was the way to the rooms, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I looked up at Alistair with a frown. “Are we going to argue again?”

“No. Because I am not budging on this. Leliana and Zevran can handle that. We will wait here until they come back.”

I opened my mouth to protest but Leliana shook her head. “You do not know how to pick a pocket, Adoria. It is best if you stay here.”

Frowning, I nodded my head and followed the others to sit in an empty alcove to wait for the rogues to come back.

* * *

Zevran and Leliana strolled out of the residential area of the arena like they didn’t have a care in the world. When they made their way back over to us, Zevran produced a stack of letters tied together with a flourish. “For you, my lady.”

I snorted in amusement and accepted the letters. “Thanks.”

After that, it was simple enough to convince Baizyl to give a written statement -with the promise to testify in person if needed- against Myaja, stating that they used personal items to blackmail him into backing out of the fight.

“Are you happy now?” Alistair asked when we got back to the tavern.

“Yes. I am happy now and we don’t have to go on any more scavenger hunts.” I practically skipped into my room to begin putting together a decent defense for Tetrak and conviction of Bhelen. We could find anything on Harrowmont, sadly. Either he was by the book and lucky enough not to be stabbed in the back by this city’s brutal politics, or he was better at hiding his dirty deeds.

“Maybe I should have gone to school to become a lawyer,” I giggled to myself as I looked over everything we had gathered.

Between two written statements proving Bhelen’s fighters were fixing Provings, the woman who tried to kill me, and Frandlin Ivo, we had a good chance at actually getting the outcome we wanted. Now, whenever Elissa gets back with the Paragon Branka, our case would be airtight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is embarrassing, but I've been spelling Bhelen's name wrong for the past several chapters and had to go back and fix it. Oops... I hope I didn't miss any.
> 
> Well, here's the last chapter for today.
> 
> We're almost at the end of the first book now. I think there will be less than ten more chapters, but we'll see.

It was a few more days before Elissa, Ash, Wynne, and Shale stumbled into the tavern, followed by a red-haired dwarf with a matching beard that reached his belly button. He smelled like a brewery. 

They all looked tired and filthy. And Elissa had informed them that they were going to bathe, rest, and they could talk tomorrow. She carried a massive crown decked to the nines in gold. I had no idea what it was but it was clearly important.

So we went to sleep and the next day we made our way to the Chamber of the Assembly. Elissa, Oghren, -the redheaded distiller on feet- and Alistair lead the way followed by Zevran, Tetrak, and myself. Our two witnesses were standing in between Zevran and me. The others decided to wait out in the hall but they would be able to rush in if we needed them.

The nobles in the Assembly were yelling over one another while the Lord Steward was trying to wrangle the crowd back under his control.

“This place is a powder keg, waiting for someone to light the fuse,” Zevran whispered to me as we followed Elissa down the stairs to stand near the Lord Steward.

“I hate to break it to you, Zev, but I think _we_ are that someone.”

Harrowmont and Bhelen stood on either side of the massive stone throne at the top of a raised dais. Both were calm as the nobles around them argued and screamed at one another.

“I say we call for a vote right now,” Bhelen called out, voice authoritative with a hit of assuredness. “Quit these delaying tactics. My father has one living child to assume the Aeducan throne. Who would deny him that?”

“This guy is an asshole,” I whispered to Tetrak. “You’re sure you two are related?”

Tetrak didn’t say anything but I could see him nod his head and grin from beneath his hood.

“Your father made me swear on his deathbed that you would not succeed him,” Harrowmont argued. To my ears, he sounded tired and fed up with Bhelen’s childish politics.

“If the lot of you are done ignoring me,” Elissa called out.

Oh. She’s annoyed. That’s not good...

“Of course, Warden,” Bhelen smiled like Elissa was an old friend. “Please, what news do you bring?”

Elissa pulled out the crown she had carried with her and passed it to the Lord Steward. “I have a crown forged by the Paragon Caridin for his chosen king.”

“Caridin was trapped in the body of a golem. This Warden granted him the mercy he sought, releasing him and destroying the Anvil of the Void. Before he died, Caridin forged a crown for Orzammar's next king, chosen by the ancestors themselves,” Oghren retold their grizzly adventure in a few short words for the Assembly. I feel like he added a little bit of fanfare, though.

Harrowmont sighed, “I would like to believe Oghren’s word but it’s well known the Grey Warden is Bhelen’s hiring.”

“Enough!” the Lord Steward yelled, holding up the crown. “This crown is of Paragon make. And there’s house Ortan’s ancient seal. Tell us Warden, whom did Caridin choose?”

Elissa glanced back and Tetrak before looking over at me. I gave her a small smile of encouragement and waited patiently.

“He chose neither Bhelen nor Harrowmont,” she spoke with authority, in a tone that said cut the bull crap. “He chose Tetrak Aeducan, the second son of Endrin Aeducan.”

Tetrak pulled back his hood, eyes narrowed on his brother who looked paler than normal but still smug. “Aside from the fact that my dear brother should be dead, do you have any idea what he has done?”

Elissa looked back at me and Tetrak again so we stepped forward until we were standing beside her. I smiled, although it didn’t reach my eyes. “We’re well aware of what he has and has not done. We are also aware of what _you_ have done Bhelen. But what about your fellow Lords and Ladies?”

The room erupted into whispers and murmurs.

“This is not a trial,” Bhelen argued, face slowly turning red. It was fun, getting under the skin of bullies like him.

The room settled back down as they waited for me to speak.

“Oh no. No, this isn’t a trial. Yet.” I turned to face the rest of the room and spoke past the nerves clogging my throat. You know what they say: fake it ‘till you make it. “Lords and Ladies of the Assembly, we have spent the past two weeks gathering evidence as to why Bhelen should not be crowned king of Orzammar.”

“We’ll start with the obvious one. And why everyone looks nervous.” I gestured for Frandlin Ivo to step forward. “Frandlin Ivo, son of Lord Ivo, traveled into the Deep Roads with Prince Tetrak on the tragic day the late King Endrin lost his first son. That day, when questioned, Frandlin said that Tetrak killed Prince Trian. Frandlin would you like to explain what _actually_ happened that day?”

The man stepped forward and addressed the gathered crowd, “I was ordered by Prince Bhelen to have Prince Trian killed and frame the second prince, Prince Tetrak. I had stored the letters between the Prince and me, should I require them later. I was able to retrieve the letters on the way here today but was unable to do so beforehand because shortly after the Grey Warden arrived, I was kidnapped by the Carta leader, Jarvia, and held hostage. That is until the people traveling with the Warden rescued me.”

Bhelen waved a hand in dismissal. “He is calling himself a liar. If he lied before who is to say he isn’t now?”

My smile turned sharp. “If he lied before then wouldn’t he be telling the truth now? But, here are those letters,” I passed the stack of letters over to the Lord Steward for him to open and read. “That should be proof of what he is saying. Onto the next reason. Atha, if you will.”

The woman who tried to kill me stepped forward, shoulders shaking as Frandlin fell back. “This woman was hired by Vartag Govorn, Bhelen’s second, to kill me.” I had taken off my leather vest before coming into the room and I pulled down the top of my shirt to show the hand-shaped bruises on my shoulders. They were a sickly purple and had appeared a few hours after the attack had ended. “She was called here -to the Chamber of the Assembly- in the middle of the day, seen by half of the people here, to talk to Vartag. He then slipped her a small fortune and told her to leave no traces that led back to him.”

“I was not responsible for this,” Bhelen argued, stepping towards the edge of the dais he stood on. Oh, he was really angry now. I could see a vein bulging in his forehead. I had to remind myself to speak slower and clearer than normal over the drone of the nobles who started whispering to one another again.

My heart raced from adrenaline as I continued, “Maybe not, but you employed Vartag as your second. As such you trusted him to make decisions to ensure you take the throne. Who is to say that this hasn’t happened before? That I am just the first to survive?”

“These letters have Bhelen’s seal.” The Lord Steward looked up from the letters he finished reading. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes, there is.”

“I think we’ve heard enough of your blasphemy!” Bhelen yelled, his calm composure breaking.

“I think your fellow nobles need to hear this last bit.” I walked forward again and passed over the two letters from Byzial and the other man who had dropped out of the Provings. “Your Provings are a way to settle debts and matters of honor. Those who win the Provings are said to have your ancestor's favor. But what about those who do not abide by the rules? Lord Steward, in your hand you have two handwritten letters from two of Lord Harrowmont’s fighters. One of which said that they were blackmailed to drop out of the fights by one of Bhelen’s fighters and the other said he was lied to by one of Bhelen’s supporters and that was why he dropped out.”

“Are. You. Done?!” Bhelen hissed. He was near purple now.

“Yes. That is all I had to say.”

The Lord Steward sighed as he put the letters to the side. “Guards arrest Bhelen and Vartag Govorn. They will be put on trial later for the evidence mounted against them.”

Bhelen was dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming profanities and insults before the doors slammed close behind him.

“But, we still have the matter of who is going to be king,” the Lord Steward gestured for Tetrak to go up the dais. “Make your case. We vote today.”

“There is no need,” Harrowmont spoke for the first time since I started my rant. “I will allow Prince Tetrak to have the throne. I think, with his name cleared, his father would have wanted him to become the next king. I only ran to stop Bhelen from assuming the throne.”

“Very well then. Then the crown forded by Caridin is yours, King Tetrak Aeducan.” The Lord Steward placed the crown on Tetrak’s bowed head and the nobles erupted into cries of protest or happiness. I wasn’t sure which it was, but we would find out in the next few minutes.

* * *

I smiled as I watched Zevran try to convince Morrigan to dance with him.

Turned out that Tetrak was very well-liked among the nobles and many had assumed he would take the throne after his father’s passing. So he was, thankfully, we received after being crowned.

“Care to dance, my lady?” Tetrak asked, holding out a hand with a million-dollar smile.

I laughed and shook my head. “I appreciate the offer. But I can’t dance. I’ve never been able to and probably never will.”

“I’m sure you do fine. All you have to do is follow my lead.” He still held his hand out, politely waiting for me to accept.

I raised my hand and let it hover about his for a moment. “On one condition.”

“Anything, but we can talk on the dance floor.” He gripped my hand and pulled me onto the floor.

I laughed as he started leading me through a dance that I had no idea how to do. I stepped on his feet several times, my face heated in embarrassment before we left the floor. “I warned you,” I snorted, almost doubling over in laughter. I found it was easier to laugh at your embarrassment rather than become angry over it.

“I should have believed you,” he griped, rubbing at his foot. “Maybe with practice, you will get better. But what was that favor?”

“I’ve never ballroom danced before, so...maybe? But, anyway,” I responded to his question, “I am immune to the Taint. As in, I can be infected with darkspawn blood and survive.”

“That is...shocking.” His dark brown eyes were wide as he looked at me. “But amazing, as well. That still doesn’t answer my question, though.”

“I found this out not too long ago. And I figured what better place to learn about the Taint and how I could be immune than the place that has the most experience with darkspawn, outside of the Grey Wardens,” I explained, hoping he understood what I was indirectly asking for. I was never good at asking for favors like this.

“You want to study the Taint and darkspawn blood?” he translated, voice tinged with surprise. 

“Yes. Kind of. I want to learn how my blood affects darkspawn blood. Why I’m immune. Stuff like that.”

“I understand.” He thought for a moment before nodding his head. “Tomorrow, I will take you to the Shaperate. They should be able to help you there. I’m more than happy to help the woman who saved my throne and kingdom.”

“Thank you, but that was Elissa, not me. She’s the one who got the crown,” I argued, dismissing his sentence.

“I am not the one who spent days gathering enough evidence to render the crown useless, either,” Elissa joked as she walked up to us, a cup in hand. “What are you two talking about?”

“Tetrak agreed to help me learn more about why I’m immune to the Taint.”

Elissa frowned, concern furrowing her brow. “Are you sure that is wise? A lot of things can go wrong in the course of study.”

I smiled and explained, “I am sure. I need to know. For peace of mind.”

“Very well then, but tonight loosen up and have fun.” Elissa nudged me before pushing the cup into my hands. I looked into the metal cup with a frown and went to ask her what was in it, but when I lifted my head she was gone.

“What is this?” I asked Tetrak, swishing the contents of the cup around.

His smile turned slightly wicked like he was laughing at a joke I missed. “Drink and find out.”

I raised the cup to my mouth before catching a whiff of the brew. My nose scrunched up and every bone in my body screamed that it wasn’t a good idea, but I pressed the cup against my lips and tipped it back.

I downed one mouthful before gagging and pulling the cup away. I coughed, “This is vile.”

Tetrak laughed and patted me on the back as I coughed while my throat burned and my stomach warmed with the alcohol.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who wants a drunk Adoria?
> 
> It was so fun writing this.

“You know - _hic_ \- I should...should’ve been a lawyer,” I giggled as I leaned against Zevran’s shoulder. The party was still in full swing, although I had no idea how many hours might have passed. All I knew was that the cup Elissa had given me was empty and I was warm and floaty.

“A lawyer?” Leliana asked from across the table, smiling at my drunken state. Wait...no, I wasn’t drunk. Or was I?

_Erm...Nah. I can count all ten toes. Hehe._

“Yeah,” I exclaimed then frowned. “No, nevermind. An eighteen-year-old lawyer? Pff. I’d never get a job.”

The lights from the braziers danced prettily against the stone walls and I traced the shadows in the air with my fingers.

“I did not know you were such a lightweight,” Elissa frowned from the other side of me.

I gasped in offense. “A light...weight? Please, I could- _burp_ ‘scuse me. I could drink you under the table.”

“If you say so,” Elissa laughed. “Do not drink any more tonight, else you will not be feeling too good in the morning.”

I waved a hand in dismissal as I munched on the bread and cheese in front of me. I didn’t know who put it there, but it was good. Someone passed me another cup and I sipped at it, learning it was water. I cooed at whoever put the cup in front of me, “Thank you.”

I sat there for several more minutes, close to dozing off when I noticed Elissa and Alistair dancing together. I looked up at Zevran. “Hey, Zev?”

“Yes?”

“Why can’t I like you?” Christ, I had no filter right now.

He looked down at me in mock surprise, “You do not like me?”

“I like you just fine,” I stated then pointed to Elissa and Alistair. “I’m talking about liking you like that.”

He looked over at the two Wardens before nodding his head. “Even if you did and I shared such feelings, I would not court you.”

I winced and pulled away. “I look that bad then?”

_Shit. Warning! Warning! Insecurities are showing! I repeat! Insecurities are showing!_

“That is not what I meant.” Zevran pulled my head back to rest on his shoulder again. “You are beautiful, Ria, both in looks and personality. I do not have the heart for love.”

I looked up into his whiskey-colored eyes with concern. Even drunk -no, no I wasn’t drunk. I’ve been over this. But, anyway, I could clearly see the hurt in his eyes and it made me angry. “Who hurt you? I’ll kick their ass.”

He smiled and patted my head like a small child. “Do not worry about such things.”

“I’ll find out,” I grumbled, pouting all the while.

We sat there in companionable silence until I looked up from my plate again and saw several people -both men and women- glaring at me. I realized then, that I was still leaning against Zevran.

“I think I’m messing up your game,” I muttered, sitting up. “I’m a terrible wing woman.”

“What are you going on about?” he asked.

I pointed to the people who looked ready to murder me. He laughed, “They are simply jealous.”

I snorted, “No. That’s the look of someone wanting to tear my throat out. Trust me, I’ve gotten those looks before. Although, never from men.”

“If you say so, Ria. If you say so. But do not worry about them.”

I shrugged. “I’m ready to go to bed anyway. I bid you all a goodnight.”

“I will go with you,” Leliana stated, standing up to walk with me. “I am ready for bed myself.”

We walked towards our rooms Tetrak gave us in the palace, although Leliana pretty much walked for the both of us. “Maybe I am drunk…,” I whispered.

“I do believe you are.”

“Leli, do you think Alistair likes me?” I blurted out.

With her help, I managed to get dressed for bed relatively easily.

She was quiet for a while until I asked her again. “I do not think that he likes you the way...you like him.”

“Ah. Okay,” I couldn’t keep the disappointment out of my voice. Of course, he wouldn’t. After eighteen years of life, you would think I would know stuff like this by now. It can’t be too hard to see when someone isn’t interested. “I’m going to bed now. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Adoria,” was Leliana’s quiet response.

* * *

I leaned against the cold wall of the Shaperate, eyes closed as my stomach rolled and my head pounded. I groaned, “Why did I drink so much?”

“Did you not know your limit?” Elissa asked, passing a health potion over to me.

I downed the bottle, nose scrunching at the incredibly bitter taste. The headache dulled but did not go away. I’m sure that if a normal person had drunk it then they would be good as new. Not me though, I just _had_ to be different. “I’ve never drunk before.”

“Really? I never would have guessed,” Zevran laughed. “Do you remember anything?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah. I remember everything I did. And I’m still going to find out who hurt you,” I informed him, flashing a weak smile. It was true, too. I remember everything from drinking the alcohol to asking Leliana if Alistair liked me.

“I thought you would have been embarrassed,” he mused.

I shrugged. “I’m trying not to overthink anything.”

“Here you are,” Shaper Czibor passed over a vial filled with a black substance. “Darkspawn blood.”

I nodded my head and thanked the old man before going towards the table they had cleared off for me. I uncorked the bottle and almost gagged at the pungent smell it released. “I guess it’s been fermenting for a while.”

Zevran snorted from where he was covering his nose and mouth with his hand. “I’ll say.”

I sat the bottle down and slipped out the knife I had disinfected earlier that day. I pressed the knife against my finger and paused, my nerves freezing my movements.

What if nothing happens? What if I was just lucky? What if this doesn’t work? Everyone had their hopes up, I could see it in their eyes. A possible cure for something that has taken so many lives. I don’t want to give anyone false hope.

“Adoria?” Elissa called, eyes shining in concern.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts crowding it and pushed the knife into my finger. Breaking skin and letting the ruby blood pool on my fingertip before holding it over the vial. As if in slow motion, the blood dropped into the vial and we waited. I continued to let the wound bleed for several more seconds before pulling my hand back and using a cloth to cover my finger.

We stood there and waited. Me, Zevran, Elissa, and Shaper Czibor all stared at the vial as if it would jump up and start doing the macarena.

Thankfully, it didn’t do that but within seconds of my blood settling into the vial, the darkspawn blood started to boil before evaporating into a cloud of steam. It all happened within a few minutes, and every one of us had some varying degree of shock painted on our features.

“This is...amazing,” Shaper Czibor gasped. While he scurried off to do who knew what, I used the parchment and charcoal they gave me to write on. I made sure to write it in English, just to be on the safe side and so I didn’t magically forget my native language.

_It took several drops of blood to get a reaction. The darkspawn blood started boiling within seconds of mixing and a few minutes later, it evaporated rapidly. Not even the pungent, tar-like smell remained._

“How?” Elissa wondered.

“It makes sense, in a way. Back in Haven, Wynne told me that I had run a fever high enough to cause fever dreams. That may have been caused by the darkspawn blood evaporating from my own bloodstream.”

“But,” Elissa reiterated, “ _how_?”

I chewed on my lip for a moment while staring at the empty vial. “My blood may have a different chemical composition than yours. And something in it makes me immune to darkspawn blood. I don’t have the necessary tools to know for sure though. This is just speculation.”

I was, honest to God, surprised that something did happen. Call me a pessimist, but I had thought that I had just gotten extremely lucky and it was just a fluke. I was thankful that it wasn’t, though.

We continued to talk back and forth on reasons why I was immune. All ranging from antibodies to genetics. Minutes later, Shaper Czibor came back with another person in tow. “This is Kevira. She studies darkspawn and their habits.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Adoria,” I introduced myself while shaking her hand.

“Shaper Czibor told me about what happened. I would suggest drinking some of their blood to see if it behaves the same when it is in your system.” She pulled out a vial and tried to shove it into my hands.

I looked at the short blonde-haired woman like she was crazy. “I am not drinking that stuff.”

“It is the only way to know what would happen if you ingest it.” She waved the vial in front of my face.

I sneered at the vial. “No. I can tell you what happens, though, because it’s happened before. I run a high fever. I become comatose and sweat out my own body weight. Dehydration was something that was a serious possibility, too.”

Kevira sighed and nodded her head before turning to Czibor, “Very well then. I would suggest finding a live darkspawn then and having _it_ ingest her blood.”

My eyes almost bulged from my head. “Are you suggesting bringing a live darkspawn here? As in Orzammar? Because I’m not going into the Deep Roads.”

“Not entirely. We can set up a site near the entrance to the Deep Roads and have one brought there. The hurlocks may be the easiest to capture…,” Kevira trailed off as she and Czibor walked off, discussing how to capture and hold a darkspawn.

I turned to look at Zevran and Elissa. “These people are crazy.”

Elissa laughed. “I don’t think you have a choice.”

“I guess not. I hope you all don’t mind staying for a few more days?”

“Not at all. It’s a good cause.”

“Adoria!” Kevira came running back from around the corner she had disappeared behind. “Fill these with your blood.”

She shoved several glass vials into my hands before walking away again. I frowned at the back of her head before sighing. “Let’s get this over with then.”

I sat in one of the stone seats and filled the first vial by cutting my palm open and waiting patiently while the blood rolled out of the wound. “An IV would be wonderful right about now,” I sighed.

“What is an IV?” Zevran asked, sitting across from me. He was kind enough to sharpen my daggers while I bled for science and medicine.

I pointed to the crook of my elbow. “You see this dark vein here? An IV is a small needle that goes into the vein. It’s attached to a tube and you can give someone medicine or extract blood from it.”

“What other things does your world have?” Elissa looked up from the book she had started looking over.

“So many things you wouldn’t believe. We had these small devices that let us talk to someone on the other side of the world at that moment. We had medical machines that would take pictures -kind of like a painting- of the inside of someone’s body. We could tell if they had broken a bone or if they had fluid in their lungs with it. It was amazing.”

“How are you squeamish around other people's blood, but when it is your own, it doesn’t bother you?” A familiar voice asked as they walked up to the table.

I smiled up at Tetrak as I switched out the vials and started on the next one. “How do I explain this? Killing people is not something that I did before I started traveling with the Wardens. And, I’m not squeamish around blood as long as it’s for medical reasons. Besides that, don’t you know about women’s menstrual cycles?”

“What?” Tetrak asked, confused.

“Oh. What’s it called here? Moon cycles?” I looked at Elissa who nodded her head, face red. “Anyway, it’s kind of hard to escape your own blood when you bleed monthly.”

Zevran was laughing behind his hand while Tetrak was almost as red in the face as Elissa was. I looked between the three of them. “What?”

“Do you always say such things so...freely?” Tetrak questioned.

I frowned up at him before realization hit me. I snorted in amusement, finally understanding why everyone looked uncomfortable. Except for Zevran, that is. He looked like he was about to fall out on the floor from laughing so hard.

“And you called me squeamish.” I smirked up at Tetrak before explaining, “Where I’m from, I’m a nurse. What you would call a healer. These terms are something that you use so regularly that it no longer causes embarrassment. At least for me. Did y’all think that I wouldn’t speak of things like this?”

“Pretty much,” Elissa stated, looking at the wall behind me, lips quirking in a small smile. She was still red in the face though.

I joined in Zevran’s laughter. “Please, I could say words that would make your Chantry Mother’s blush and still have a straight face. But I would be using them in a medical sense.”

The smile Zevran sent me made me nervous. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“So if these words you speak of were used outside of a medical sense, would you be embarrassed then?”

I opened my mouth to say no and flat out refuse but I paused. Would I?

“I couldn’t tell you. I’ve never been in a situation where those words would be used in a different sense.” I frowned before laughing under my breath. “I just confessed to being a virgin, didn’t I?”

“Not that it was hard to guess, but yes.” Zevran was still laughing, finding an infinite amount of humor in the situation.

I laughed with him while Elissa and Tetrak looked anywhere else but at the two of us. I finished filling one more vial before corking them and wrapping my hand.

“I think that is enough for today. Any news on Bhelen?” I asked Tetrak as I stood to bring the vials to Kevira. She practically ordered me to come to the Deep Roads entrance tomorrow.

“Yes. He and Vartag have been convicted of murder and treason and were exiled to the surface,” Tetrak sighed, shoulders slumping.

I patted him on the back. “It was for the best.”

“I should warn you, Adoria,” his eyes were worried when he looked at me, “he vowed to get his revenge on you. I think he blames you for everything.”

I shrugged. “It would be the first time someone has hated my guts. He won’t be the last. I’ll deal with it if he ever bothers me, but I doubt he will.”

“Still, be careful. You’ve become a good friend and ally.” I smiled down at him before wishing him a good day. I felt dizzy and tired from the amount of blood I gave them and I just wanted to eat, drink water, and nap.

So, when we got back to the palace, I did just that and didn’t wake up until dinner.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, they don't exactly explode _Shadow_Onyx_ but hopefully, this is just as good.
> 
> ...Now I really do sound sadistic...

I was standing with Elissa and Zevran the next day as we waited by the entrance to the Deep Roads.

True to her word, Kavira had someone set up a miniature laboratory near the entrance. What I wasn’t expecting though was the number of guards they had stationed around the clearing. I knew there would be guards, after all, they were bringing a monster near the city _alive_. But there were four guards near the large tunnel mouth and at least eight more hanging around, waiting with us.

“How long has it been?” Kavira asked one of the guards.

“They have been in there for half an hour now, ma’am,” the man answered.

They had decided to send scouts into the Deep Roads to lure a hurlock out. This whole ordeal made me nervous. I was about to say so when the scar on my thigh and stomach flared up.

I hissed in a breath between clenched teeth as my hand clutched at the scar. Kavira had asked me to fill some more vials and the dizziness and nausea doubled with the pain.

“Ria!” Zevran called out my name and as he and Elissa helped to hold me up. “What’s wrong?”

“My leg,” I growled, glaring at the offending limb. It burned but the longer it hurt the more bearable it became. It was like I was standing too close to a fire and the heat was lancing through my nerves. Eventually, it just settled into a dull, hot ache. 

“Here they come!” one of the guards yelled and everyone moved into action.

The scouts came running out of the tunnel, a small group of darkspawn on their heels. I stumbled backward as Elissa rushed to help kill the monsters. Thankfully, Zevran was still helping support my body weight, else I might have ended up on the ground.

They had killed the majority of the darkspawn but there were still a few left and the moment they were less than two yards away, they turned as one to look at me. I shivered as I stared into their lifeless, black eyes.

It was still disturbing how they _flowed_ across the ground, increased by the fact that they were heading straight towards me. It was like, they were hell-bent on killing me.

Thankfully, because I was frozen to the spot, the last darkspawn were killed and they managed to pin on to the ground.

It was growling and yelling, trashing to try to throw the guards off of it.

“Hold it still!” Kavira yelled as she rushed over with a vial of my blood.

Somehow -and I wasn’t getting any close to see how- Kavira managed to get my blood down the darkspawn’s throat. And then we waited, but not for long.

By the time I felt comfortable enough to get closer, the monster started thrashing and convulsing on the ground.

“Back away!” Kavira yelled and they all jumped away.

Its arms flailed like it didn’t have any bones while its legs kicked and curled in on themselves. Then, with a scream that was inhuman but clearly meant it was in pain, its body stiffened and the molted skin seemed to _melt_ off.

I could only watch in horror, and very mild fascination, as the muscles and tendons dripped from its body, leaving behind nothing but bones. And even they looked rotted and close to crumbling.

“I’m going to be sick,” I groaned and rushed away from the gathered crowd. Warm hands pulled my hair back as I lost my breakfast. My stomach clenched when my body still tried to empty it but nothing came up.

“Here.” Zevran passed me a water skin and urged me to drink. “What happened?”

I coughed before using the water to rinse out my mouth. I spit it out with a shudder. “It was like it went through the decomposition process quickly enough that it was still alive for some of it. That’s the best I can explain. I really don’t want to watch that happen again to get more detail.”

“Stop her!” someone yelled.

I turned to see Kavira booking it towards the stairs leading towards the Commons, blonde hair streaming behind her and kicking up dust. In her hands, she held several vials of my blood. A few of the guards chased after her, but they were wearing full plate armor and she had on regular clothes. She disappeared out of sight before I could even comprehend what had happened. “Did she just...steal my blood?”

Shaper Czibor walked over to us. “I’m afraid she did. When news of this discovery gets out, your blood will become incredibly valuable to the right people.”

I frowned as Zevran helped me to my feet. Although the ache in my leg had dulled, I was still dizzy and my vision swam when I stood.

“Then make sure it doesn’t get out,” Elissa ordered, coming to the other side of me.

“Of course not,” Shaper Czibor assured. “I do ask that you leave some more blood samples if you could.”

“Yeah, sure. Tomorrow though. If I bleed any more I’ll pass out.”

* * *

Zevran and Elissa helped me get back to the palace where they ordered me to bed. They didn’t leave though, clearly wanting to ask questions.

After I had some food on my lap -although it was hard to eat with that image in my mind- I told them to go ahead and ask what was on their mind.

“Once they noticed you,” Zevran frowned, “they went after you and seemed to forget about everyone else.”

I nodded my head. “I noticed that too. I was thinking that, maybe, it was an instinct.”

“An instinct to kill?” Elissa looked at me like I was crazy. “I’m sure their entire being just screams at them to kill and destroy everything.”

“Not like that.” I went quiet while thinking of how to explain my thoughts. 

“Alright, so, have you ever come across a situation where the offspring of an animal has been killed by another type of animal?” After they nodded their heads, I continued, “The reason behind that is because they have an instinct ingrained into them. It tells them to kill the young so that way their species has a greater chance of survival. Their thought process isn’t as complex as that, though. As I said, it’s an instinct.”

“So,” Elissa rephrased, “you think that the darkspawn are drawn to you because you threaten their survival?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose that makes sense…,” she trailed off and looked away.

“Did you have something else you wanted to ask?”

Her blue eyes flashed to me before looking away again. “Do you think that...that your blood could be the key to the Cure? That it could heal Alistair and me?”

Zevran fell silent as he listened, clearly wanting an answer, too.

I frowned and thought about her question. I couldn’t really give her a definite answer. If I had the equipment from back home then I might have been able to figure it out, but I didn’t know how to build the lab equipment to test it. Even if I did, this place probably didn’t have the technology. I doubted they even had screws.

Besides, the idea of introducing a piece of technology that could help create viruses worse than the Taint did not sit well with me. Even if it could be used to make the cure. Technology was a double-edged sword, after all. Just like so many other things.

No. Instead, I would leave some samples with them and let them use their own technological advancements to make a cure.

“Maybe? But I’m not sure. It would make sense. Back when we had this terrible virus -called Ebola- was widespread, scientists would take samples from people who had it and survived to make vaccines out of it. But I don’t have the equipment to do that. I’ll leave more samples with Shaper Czibor and ask him to look into it. And also ask him to keep us updated.”

Elissa smiled, a light returning to her eyes. “Thank you, Adoria.”

“You know,” Zevran drawled, “if your blood is the key to curing the Taint, you would become a very valuable person throughout Thedas. Nobles would be clamoring for your favor and commoners would look to you as a hero.”

I looked at him in horror before shuddering. “No, thank you. I can live without that.”

“But think of the parties!” he exclaimed.

“Think of the politics!” I called back sarcastically before we both ended up laughing.

Elissa simply laughed at us before leaving the room.

“I’m going to take a nap now. All of the excitement has worn me out.”

Zevran nodded his head and pulled out a book. “I will watch over you while you sleep. Sweet dreams, Ria.”

“Goodnight, Zev.”

* * *

We left the Shaperate after getting assurance that they would work on a cure and keep us updated. Next, we said goodbye to Tetrak, who insisted on paying each of us, and then we left Orzammar.

I was never happier to see the blue sky before in my life. My eyes did burn, however, and it was difficult to look at my surroundings from the blinding light of the sun bouncing off the snow. The joys of being underground for weeks.

“Where to next?” I asked Leliana as Elissa and Sten threatened some merchant to find the sword Sten had lost. Apparently, that was what his conversation with the scavenger near the Circle was about. Sten had lost his sword after he and his team were attacked by darkspawn. He looked as close to depressed as he could get when he had told us that he couldn’t return home without it.

“We have to track down the clan of Dalish elves living in the Brecilian Forest,” Leliana spoke as she counted the arrows in her quiver.

I looked at her with wide eyes before a large smile broke out across my face. “Really?”

“Yes. Do not expect a warm welcome, though,” Zevran warned.

I shrugged. “That’s fine. As long as I get to see the forest.”

“Let’s go,” Elissa called out and the group set into motion.

I was so excited that I just knew that the trip would feel like it was taking twice as long to get there than normal. I was okay with that, though. As long as we got there.


	24. Chapter 24

“Oh. My. God,” I gasped, taking in the towering trees that could give redwoods a run for their money. “This is...beautiful.”

As we walked between the trees, following a path that was barely there, the thick canopy blocked out most of the afternoon sunlight. Shadows danced along the ground and the wildlife watched from a distance in the dense foliage.

“They say the forest is haunted,” Leliana whispered conspicuously.

“Even so, it’s still so lovely,” I responded. Even the wet, earthy smell of the ground and the smell of the trees. It evoked a sense of peace and reminded me of why I liked hiking through forests, to begin with. The feeling of being disconnected from the troubles of the world. The quiet of the surrounding nature. I loved it.

“Hold!” someone called out ahead of us. I tried to look in between the rest of the group but I was near the back with Leliana and Morrigan and couldn’t see past the others.

We stood there for a moment or two. I was anxious to hurry up and be on our way. I wanted to get to know the Dalish and try to understand their culture. They were just as fascinating to me as the dwarves were.

By the time I was close to hopping in place, we were able to be on our way once again.

We passed by a group of elves and I made a conscious effort not to stare. They were willowy, just like with the city elves, as I’ve been told to call them. I thought it was ridiculous, though. Elves were elves. Just like humans were humans. Did how they live really matter?

Their armor was dyed to be dark brown and green. They stared at us with narrowed eyes, weapons in hand if they should need them. The one thing that stood out the most wasn’t their ears or the larger-than-normal eyes that all elves possessed, it was the elaborate and graceful looking facial tattoos.

It was when one of the elves growled at me that I realized I had ended up staring anyway. “Do you have a problem, shem?”

“No. I was just admiring the facial tattoos. I’m sorry,” I answered, looking away. I could still feel the man’s glare. But, he was soon forgotten as we walked into the Dalish camp.

If the dwarves had straight cut and blocky architecture, then the Dalish had smooth, flowing, and curved architecture. Most of it was wood with very small amounts of metal, where the dwarves used mainly stone and metal. The differences were fascinating.

We continued through the camp until we stopped again for Elissa to talk with a bald man.

We had gathered a crowd. Grown men and women and even children were standing several feet away from us. Each one of them staring in confusion and distrust.

“I guess they don’t like us very much,” I mumbled, crestfallen.

“They are a reclusive people,” Leliana informed me. “Aside from that, their home was also destroyed by humans. Their city counterparts are treated terribly and some who are unlucky enough are sold into slavery.”

I looked at Leliana with wide eyes. “This is the first time I’m hearing about the slavery. I knew city elves were treated badly, but really?”

She only nodded her head while Elissa turned to address the group. “Keeper Zathrian has been kind enough to let us set up our camp here, as long as we stay out of the way. Let’s make camp and then I will explain what is going on.”

We went over to the furthest possible clearing to set up our tents, passing by injured and sick people laid on cots out in the open. Even without getting any closer, it was clear that they were in an incredible amount of pain.

After the tents were set up and we had a good fire going, Elissa started retelling her conversation with Keeper Zathrian. “The Clan has been attacked by werewolves and many of their hunters are sick. We need to find the heart of the first werewolf, Witherfang, and bring it back to Zathrian.”

“Werewolves? Next, you’ll be telling me vampires exist, too,” I grumbled under my breath. I shouldn’t be surprised by the existence of werewolves. I was, after all, in a world that wasn’t my own without a clue as to how I got here.

_Or how to get back..._

Elissa explained that a handful of them would be heading into the Forest while the rest stayed in camp. Once she was done explaining the plan, I got up and crawled into my tent, ready for bed after the very long day of walking.

* * *

I sat on the log with my arms crossed over my chest, staring at the ground in annoyance. This was ridiculous. I had woken up in the best of moods and within three hours, my mood plummeted.

Sadly, Elissa, Alistair, Ash, Oghren, and Wynne had left shortly after I had woken up. I wasn’t above asking Elissa to talk to the Clan, but since she wasn’t here, I just resorted to sulking.

“Ria?” Zevran called out before sitting down beside me. “Are you pouting?”

“Yes.” I didn’t even bother trying to deny it. Call me a child, I didn’t care.

“Why?” he asked, concerned.

“Because I have asked -very politely, might I add- three different people who might have been able to teach me elvhen. And they all refused!” I cried, throwing my hands up in irritation.

He smiled and patted my shoulder. “Did you expect something different?”

“I mean, no,” I stated, “but I’m just asking to learn the language and their culture. It’s not like I’m asking to be inducted into the Clan.”

“I highly doubt they would teach anyone outside of the Clan those things. Even if you happened to be an elf.”

I mumbled incoherently under my breath while Zevran laughed at my misery.

“Arm yourselves!” someone's warning call had us jumping to our feet, weapons in hand before we had time to take in the scene.

My heart sank when it finally registered.

Standing hunched back on two legs was a group of lupine-looking creatures. Their arms reached down to their knees, each finger tipped with claws that were as long as my hand. Their fur was mangy and matted and their razor-like teeth looked like they could barely fit in their mouth.

The sounds of bows twanging had me snapping out of my daze.

I picked my own bow up from the ground, knocked it, and drew back, releasing it when it was fully drawn. I repeated the process over and over, embedding at least ten arrows into the thick hide of the closest werewolf.

It growled and swung at the warriors attacking it, moving at speeds that shouldn’t have been possible for it to move at. Its blood ran down its back from the arrows and pooled on the ground. I half expected it to be some other color than the normal red, but thankfully, it wasn’t.

Eventually, the werewolves all died and everyone slowly started coming back out of wherever they were hiding.

I sighed as I placed the bow on the ground, going towards the creek to wash my face. The scene behind me was unsettling and I didn’t really want to look at it for any longer than I had to.

I smiled at the small boy who was by the creek as I dipped my hands into the cold water. He looked at me, returning the smile shyly before getting up to run off.

“AHH!” I looked up when he screamed and saw a werewolf jump out from the dense forest and head for the boy. I scrambled to my feet, kicking up mud, and was able to get to the boy just before the werewolf. But, there was no way I was going to outrun something that had the ability to run on four legs.

I wrapped my arms around the child’s middle and turned, hunching over to wrap my body around his, ensuring he wouldn’t get hurt.

I cried out in more shock than pain. I could hear the fabric of my shirt tearing, along with the wet ripping noise of skin. I could feel the skin of my lower back being filleted open, the skin and flesh separating to create deep wounds. I noticed the warm blood pouring from the wounds, staining my ruined shirt and the top of my pants before the pain hit.

I groaned as I fell to my knees, the boy still held close to my body, as tears leaked from my eyes. No other attack came, so I was sure that the werewolf was dead, but I didn’t really care at that moment.

The wounds burned, radiating through my back and the back portion of my upper legs, turning them into mush. The pain made my ribs feel like they were constricting my lungs, causing my breathing to pick up in panic.

“Ria!” Zevran called out, falling to his knees beside me.

My heart raced in my chest as I let the boy go. The ground swam below me and, as my vision darkened, I was able to whisper, “Cauterize...it.”

Zevran caught me as my body gave out and I fell forward.

I dimly heard him yelling before losing consciousness, “MORRIGAN!”

* * *

“...she will...anyway...there...point.” The words being spoken drifted in and out, making it hard to hear what was actually being said.

I groaned as I opened my eyes, taking in the leather canvas of the inside of the tent.

_This world was after my death._

I was lying on my stomach. Even if my back wasn’t burning like hellfire, I had enough sense not to move. I was cold, though. Wearing only a breast band to cover my top half. My hair was down and hanging off the side of the cot. It was itching my shoulder but I didn’t dare move my arm to scratch it, afraid of stretching my wounds.

“Zevran,” I called out weakly. No one was in the tent with me, but I was sure someone was around. Hopefully, Zevran was and he would be able to hear me.

The noise outside the tent quieted and a moment later, the flap opened to let Zevran and Leliana walk in.

“What’s it look like?” I groaned.

“The wound is...healing well, all things considered,” Leliana stated, bringing a spoonful of some type of soup or broth to my mouth. “We did what you told us to. Morrigan said that it saved your life.”

I nodded my head and accepted the food. “Thank you.”

"How long have I been out?"

"About a day," Zevran informed, glancing over the lower part of my back.

We all fell silent for several minutes before I swallowed what little pride I had left and whispered, “I’m sorry I’m such a burden.”

Their eyes snapped to my own, but I couldn’t maintain eye contact and looked at the walls of the tent, fighting back the tears brimming my eyes.

“You are not a burden, my friend,” Zevran argued firmly.

Leliana brushed my hair from my forehead. “Why would you even think that?”

I snorted then winced as it pulled on my lower back. “Am I not? Think about it. Haven, I almost died. Orzammar, I almost died. _Here_ , I almost died. And every time you all feel the need to protect me. And I appreciate it, but I don’t like it when you all worry yourselves sick over me.”

“You are more than a friend, Adoria. You are family, and this is what we do for family,” Leliana said softly.

“We care for you, Ria. What else do you expect?” Zevran asked rhetorically.

I sighed but nodded my head. Smiling, I looked at them. “I understand, but I will feel the way I feel. But, I love you guys.”

“And we love you. Now go back to sleep,” Leliana ordered.

I smiled again and closed my eyes, tried just from the conversation we had.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the song _Vargsången by Jonna Jinton_ that I do not, nor claim to, own: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTmatjyd4KM

It was several more days before they even let me up to get out of the tent. And even then, it was only because -after they had refused to help me- I had tried getting up by myself. I had almost torn the wounds back open in my stubbornness.

And let me tell you, using the bathroom during those days was a pain in the butt.

Morrigan, when she had come in one day to look at the wounds, had taken the time to explain what it looked like.

There were four long slashes. The top one started just below my ribs, while the middle two reached almost around my side and the third ended just before reaching my butt. I’m surprised that I wasn’t made into minced meat, honestly.

The way the wound had felt shortly after the attack, I had assumed my back had been shredded beyond recognition.

She had apologized, saying that she couldn’t do anything about the scarring. I told her that I didn’t care about that. I was just thankful to be alive, however much pain I may have been in. 

Besides, I had assumed that they would scar. And since they had to cauterize them, they would look more like burn scars than anything else. I really didn’t mind that. After all, no one would be seeing them that much and scars weren’t that uncommon in Thedas. I was just adding to the collection, I suppose.

At the moment, I was sitting outside, enjoying the morning sun and the smell of dew on the grass. Elissa had returned from the Forest two days ago, took one look at me, and then started telling off the closest Clan member.

I had asked her to calm down, telling her that I knew what would happen if I had saved that boy from harm. She had simply turned and started scolding me in a motherly tone. Going on and on about how reckless I could be.

I smiled at the memory and tried to relax my tense body as best as I could. My back made it close to impossible because it felt like every time I relaxed, the wounds would stretch and move. Sten was sitting next to me, sharpening his sword in silence.

Since they had let me out of the tent, someone would be close to me at all times with either Wynne or Morrigan within hearing distance should we need them. It was ridiculous but heartwarming.

I knew they had to be getting tired of me needing rescuing all the time. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t be a burden, but I think I succeeded in doing just the opposite.

I had learned that many of the Clan members had wanted to kill me, saying that it would put me out of my misery. As it turned out, a lot of their members had succumbed to the werewolf curse through wounds much smaller than the ones I received.

Although, since Elissa had Keeper Zathrian break the curse, we would never know if I was immune to that disease as well. Which was fine by me. Best not leave that type of stuff to chance. Aside from that, Morrigan and Wynne were forcing those bitter health potions down my throat like they were candy. It increased the healing rate of the wounds but they would have to heal on their own for the most part.

“Ma’am?” a soft voice called.

I opened my eyes and tipped my head down from where I was looking up at the sky. The little boy I had saved was looking up at me nervously. I smiled to try to put him at ease. “Yes?”

“My momma told me to thank you for saving me. She said that you weren’t so bad for a shem,” he muttered, staring at me with large brown eyes.

I laughed under my breath. “Well, thank you, I guess. And you’re welcome.”

He grinned before looking at my arms that I had braced against the edge of the log I was sitting on. I was trying to keep my body from moving more than it needed to, but I was sure I looked a little bit funny to a child. “Will you be okay?”

“I’m too stubborn to die, don’t you worry.” Then, an idea hit me and I hoped it would help brighten this boy’s day. He was clearly upset. Probably by what happened. “Hey, want to hear a song?”

His shy grin turned into a beaming smile that almost blocked out the sun. “Yes, please.”

“How about one about a wolf?” I asked, scooting forward so I was sitting closer to the edge of the log.

“Like the Dread Wolf?”

I shook my head, knowing what -or, rather, who- he was talking about. After saving the boy, the others of the Clan had changed their mind about teaching me their culture and language.

Language-wise, they were kind enough to write everything they could down on some parchment, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stay to actually study the language for much longer. They did help me practice phrases, correcting pronunciation and grammar. Culture-wise, the storyteller indulged my questions and told me folktales and lore about his people whenever I would ask.

“It’s a story in a different language about a woman protecting her child from a hungry wolf. Still interested?” I suppose, in a way, that it could relate to the Dread Wolf.

The boy nodded his head, sitting down in front of me, waiting patiently.

I laughed softly and started singing _Vargsången by Jonna Jinton_.  
**_  
"Vargen ylar i nattens skog  
Han vill men kan inte sova  
Hungern river i hans varga buk  
Och det är kallt i hans stova_**

**_Du varg, du varg kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig_ **

**_Du varg, du varg kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig_ **

**_Vargen ylar i nattens skog  
Ylar av hunder o klagar  
Men jag ska ge’n en grisa svans  
Sånt passar i varga magar_ **

**_Du varg, du varg, kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig_ **

**_Du varg, du varg, kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig_ **

**_Vargen ylar i nattens skog  
Han vill men kan inte sova  
Hungern river i hans varga buk  
Och det är kallt i hans stova_ **

**_Du varg, du varg kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig_ **

**_Du varg, du varg kom inte hit  
Ungen min får du aldrig" _**

By the time I was done, there was a gaggle of children sitting close to my feet while several adults stood or sat on the other side of the fire. Even Sten, who I was pretty sure had heard me sing, had sat his sword aside in favor of listening.

I couldn’t help but blush furiously when I realized that the ones who weren’t sitting or standing near me had stopped what they were doing to listen to the song.

“Um...heh. That’s all I’ve got for that song.”

“What about another one?” the little boy asked, scooting forward on his butt.

I opened my mouth to comply, but a hand landed on my shoulder. “I’m sorry little ones, but our songstress needs to lay down and rest some more.”

I smiled at Wynne and apologized to the children before letting her and Sten help me back into my tent.

“You need your sleep and rest,” the old woman ordered. “We’re leaving in a few days and you need to be able to walk.”

I frowned at the tent canvas, trying not to yelp in pain as Wynne applied an elfroot poultice to my wounds. I wasn’t showing how much it pained me on the outside to sing, but whenever I inhaled, it pulled and tugged at the healing skin.“You could just leave me here. And I could meet you all back in Redcliffe. That way there’s no unnecessary stress on anyone.”

“Ria,” Zevran warned as he walked through the tent opening, “we have been over this, yes?”

I rolled my eyes at my friend and huffed in annoyance. “And I gave you my answer.”

“And I think your answer is wrong,” he argued, taking the poultice from Wynne and assuming her job. The first time he had offered to put the poultice on the wound, Wynne had refused, saying that it wasn’t proper. I had rolled my eyes and told the woman that I didn’t mind. I knew the truth about our relationship and other people could wonder if they wanted to.

She had conceded and left the tent, saying if I didn’t care, then she would not press the issue.

“You can’t tell me it isn’t true.”

“I can and I will.”

“Zevran-”

“You are not a burden on me, on Leliana, Elissa, or Morrigan,” he said, sternly, voice rising in volume but not quite reaching that yelling point. “I refuse to hear any more about this. You are my dearest friend and it hurts me to see you think of yourself like this.”

“Have I ever told you how I grew up?” I asked, seemingly changing the subject at random.

“I know you grew up in an orphanage, but little else other than what you told us of your past that day you confessed to being from another world.” He put the poultice to the side and sat on a stool beside the cot.

“Yeah. I grew up with so many other kids under the same roof that I couldn’t keep track of their names. Although, I was the outcast, so I didn’t even try. But all my life, all I was told led me to believe that my needs and concerns were not important. If I did something wrong, I was denied meals. For the first several years of my life, I was so malnourished that I didn’t start my cycles at a normal age. It wasn’t until I was well into college that they showed up.

“I was bullied at home and at school, leading me to believe that I was worthless. That my life was pointless and no one would care for me. You know, I had never once been considered for adoption?” Tears were making their way down my face at this point.

“Aside from Tony, the man who saved my life multiple times, no one else wanted the child prodigy. That was the whole reason I had tried so hard in school, too. I thought that maybe, if I was smarter than the other kids, that someone would want me. Instead, it had the opposite effect and alienated me even more.”

“Where are you going with this, Ria? This is clearly a painful subject for you to talk about.”

“I’m trying to explain to you that I can’t just ignore something that has been ingrained into my head since I was a child. I can’t just magically forget about everything that was said and done to me. As much as I wish I could.”

Zevran smiled softly and wiped the tears from under my eyes. “That is why we are here. We are your friends. We are your family. We care for you, Ria. And we will help you see the worth that you have.”

I quietly thanked him and then, trying to lighten the mood, “Do you know what would make me feel better?”

“What?”

“You telling me who’s hurt you.”

He snorted in amusement and shook his head. “I told you not to worry about that. Now close your eyes and get some rest.”

I childishly stuck my tongue out at him but complied. As sleep claimed me, I felt more accepted at that moment than I had my entire life.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter for today, I'm afraid, but it's almost a thousand words more than normal so I hope that makes up for it.

We left the Dalish Clan and walked back to Redcliffe, taking almost two weeks to get there. Had my back been fully healed, it would have cut the travel time in half, but we had to stop every few miles to rest.

Before we had left, the little boy whose name I learned was Nelgan, had given me a carving of a wolf that was the size of my hand. He told me to keep it safe and that it was a thank you for saving him. I had thanked him and wrapped it in a spare shirt and tucked it in the safest spot I could in my bag.

After we had made it to Redcliffe Castle, we were given rooms to use for the next few days while Elissa and Alistair planned what to do next with Arl Eamon. I took full advantage of this and had taken the hottest bath I could stand. I was even able to commander a mirror to look at the scars on my back.

They looked so much better than what had been described to me and close to fully healed, thanks to the health potions. There were four burn scars from the cauterization stretching across my lower back. The scars weren’t straight. There were some thicker parts where I guess they had to burn more skin together than other places.

At one point, on the way here, the skin had started to blister and it was only thanks to the elfroot poultices that they had healed before they could burst. That would not have been good. Walking on the open, dusty road with open sores on my back? No, thank you. I did not want to know if I was immune to infections, here. My luck, that would be what killed me.

When I had been able to find him, I pulled Enchanter Irving aside to give him the letter a young dwarven woman in Orzammar had asked us to deliver. She had said she wanted to leave her Caste behind to study at the Circle Tower. She seemed very adamant about her dreams so I agreed to pass the letter on. I had told the First Enchanter just that, and he agreed to accept her readily enough.

A dwarven commander from Orzammar had given me a letter from the Shaperate, informing me of what progress they had made. Which was, sadly, very little. But they had tested my blood on several different darkspawn, figuring out just how much blood it would take to get the same result. Turns out that they only needed to swallow about a mouthful. Which was both disturbing and good to know. They had tried to find Kevira, but she had disappeared into thin air shortly after she had stolen the vials.

I didn’t know what she planned on doing with it. Other than selling it, I doubted there was much else that she _could_ do. Even then, no one would probably believe her. I could imagine it now. “Here's some blood that makes darkspawn melt, for the low, low price of ten gold!”

I don’t think that would go over well.

I was currently sitting on a stump, practicing my elvhen with one of the Dalish scouts who had left to come to Redcliffe ahead of the others.

“My thanks?” He was a young boy, probably just shy of sixteen, and was practicing his archery while helping me.

“Ma serannas.” The words flowed elegantly for the most part, although a few words required a pause -at least for me- because of how they seemed to break in between. I learned, too, that the words used a lot of vowels, like _a_ ’s, _e_ ’s, and _i_ ’s.

“I am sorry?”

“Ir abelas.”

“Good.” He flashed me a smile before turning back to focus on his targets. “Informal greetings?”

“Hmm… Aneth...ara?” I struggled to remember the saying but when he smiled once again, I knew that I had said the phrase right.

“ _Formal_ greeting for an elder?”

“Andaran atish’an, hahren.” That was my favorite phrase as of yet. I enjoyed the way it just rolled off of my tongue.

“That was great,” he encouraged.

“Ma serannas,” I laughed. “That’s all for today, though, so thank you.”

He smiled and I left him to his practicing.

I walked through the halls of the castle, humming to myself as I made my way towards my room.

“Hold a moment, if you will.” I turned to address the person speaking to me and found myself face to face with an older man with a long, gray beard.

“Yes?”

“I do not believe we have met, although I have heard about you. I am Arl Eamon of Redcliffe, my lady.” When the man offered his hand, palm up, I placed my own in it and he kissed the back of my knuckles.

“It’s a pleasure, Arl Eamon. I am Adoria Montgomery.”

“It is nice to formally meet you. I do not wish to impose, but would you mind stepping into my office for a moment? There is an important matter I would like to discuss with you.”

I frowned but nodded my head and followed him further down the hall, into a room at the back. There were towering shelves that held more books than I had seen since the Circle library. The dull light from the fireplace on the far wall made the already dark-colored room dance with shadows. He shut the door behind me and offered up a seat. I accepted and waited for him to speak. I ignored the nerves trying to clog up my throat.

He poured himself a drink before sitting down in a high back, plush seat on the other side of the dark wooden desk. “You look like a woman who appreciates honesty, so I will not bore you with flowery words. Elissa and Alistair’s situation is grim and winning the Landsmeet will be a difficult task. But, there is a way that you could help.”

“Okay.” My eyebrows furrowed as I wondered where he was going with this. “How can I help?”

“You are young and beautiful. Although you hold no noble title, there would be many noblemen who have a lot of sway in the Landsmeet that would be interested in a proposition in exchange for supporting Alistair as king.”

I stared at the old man for a moment or two, trying to get my head wrapped around what he had just said. A sarcastic laugh slipped past my lips, “I’m sorry. I’m not sure I understand what you are saying. Are you proposing that I go into an arranged marriage?”

He frowned and winced before shaking his head. “No. Many of the lords in the Landsmeet are already married.”

My mouth dropped open in shock. “You are saying that they would be interested in me being their _mistress_!”

“Yes. You would be helping Alistair take the throne. And, what’s more, you would be protected, be treated well, and live a lavish life.”

I stood up from the seat, face heating in embarrassment and anger. Who was this old man to tell me how to live my life? Who was he to tell me something like that? Arl or not, I refused to listen to some bullshit like this.

“Listen here,” I growled, slamming my hands against the desk. “I am not some _whore_ you can pimp out to help your agenda. Elissa and Alistair are my friends, but I will not become the...the object used for someone’s sexual pleasure! I’m sure they can understand that just like I’m sure you can. Now, goodnight.”

I made it to the door before Arl Eamon spoke again, “Please consider the offer.”

I sneered at the wood of the door. I had enough sense not to look at the Arl like that. “No.”

The door slammed behind me as I stormed up to my room, raging.

“That old fart. Some asshole using me like that. Ugh!” I yelled in frustration.

Leliana almost jumped out of her skin as I stomped over to my bed in the room we shared. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes…,” I mumbled. “Everything will be fine. Because, I’ve never listened to small-minded people before, so I’m not going to start now.”

“What?” Leli tilted her head in confusion.

“Nothing,” I sighed. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Leli.”

“Goodnight, Adoria.”

* * *

It was another week and a half walk to Denerim. One that I was not looking forward to. Everyone was nervous about the Landsmeet. It was where the country would either live or die. And it all depended on how much of Loghain’s lies we could disprove. There was something that had happened during camp one night that took my mind off of the walk, though.

I had overheard a conversation between Elissa and Alistair.

I had to go use the restroom, but the words I heard made me wish I had just stayed in bed. I knew they had feelings for each other. I _knew_. But that childish part of me, that refused to look and see the facts laid out in front of me, had prayed. It had hoped that maybe I would be seen as more than the little sister, like most of the others saw me.

He had given her a rose, that much I knew because Elissa had asked why he was giving her flowers. The end result of the whole conversation ended with them disappearing into Elissa’s tent together.

I was not so naive as to not know what was going on.

I had used the bathroom and went back to bed, my heart aching in my chest. I cursed myself for being so...oblivious. Even Leliana had told me that my feelings were not returned.

_Was I not forward enough? Elissa was when she knew what she wanted..._

I wasn’t able to fall back asleep and the next day Leliana and Zevran had treated me like glass when they had noticed the difference between the two lovebirds. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Both at them and my own stupid self.

* * *

By the time we arrived at Arl Eamon’s estate, I had decided that I just projected my want of someone to care for me as something _more_ onto Alistair. He was the first person who was actually nice to me, other than Elissa and Leliana. I guess I just latched onto that like a leech.

My mind was quickly preoccupied with the sweeping city before me, thankfully.

I couldn’t say I was really surprised by the stone and wooden buildings almost stacked on top of one another. What I was sure was supposed to be full cobblestone streets looked to be part mud puddle.

The people themselves did not look terribly off, though. The marketplace was bustling with people buying and selling wears and odds-and-ins.

But I wasn’t prepared for the smell of sewage. Particularly, feces. Strangely enough, it had the undertone of wood smoke, too. The most strange part about that, though, was that I could actually smell the wood smoke over that of feces. The many chimneys pouring out gray smoke into the air would provide the smell so I shouldn't be to surprised.

Thankfully, the Arl’s estate didn’t smell like the city outside the high stone walls.

The Arl gave us rooms and I was led through the seemingly never-ending, carpeted hallways to a room much grander than the one I was given back at Redcliffe Castle. And, for some reason, I wasn’t sharing with anyone. Which was fine, Leliana or Zevran would end up sleeping in the room with me anyway, but still…. I wonder what that was about.

I got my answer the next day after we finished breakfast.

“I hope you had time to reconsider the offer I mentioned the last time we talked,” Arl Eamon pressed.

“No,” I stated, sipping at the water I had asked for, “actually, I haven’t given it much thought at all, because my answer hasn’t changed.”

“What are you two talking about?” Elissa asked, sitting incredibly close to Alistair.

_Bless it all. Adoria! Grow. Up._

“Oh?” I looked between Elissa and Arl Eamon with a mock surprised face. “You mean he didn’t tell you?”

“I thought it best not to concern the Wardens with this matter, seeing as how they have enough to worry about,” the Arl defended himself.

“Tell us what?” Alistair spoke up, eyes suspicious.

I couldn’t help but snorting in humorless laughter. I drawled, “Oh...I should let you tell them first, see how you phrase it to suit your needs.”

The Arl rolled his eyes as if he didn’t care for my childish behavior. That was fine. I didn’t have time to deal with his very twisted politics. “I brought a matter to the attention of Lady Adoria, but she was very...adamant about refusing. I was hoping that she might have changed her mind, but I see that she has not.”

“What was the matter she needed to address?” Leliana questioned, leaning back in her seat. She looked calm and relaxed but I could see that glint in her icy blue eyes. Personally, I thought that made her just as scary as Zevran when they were angry.

Zevran could kill you with poison or knives just fine. Leliana, on the other hand, could destroy your life with a few well-placed words. I guess that was the perks of being trained as a bard. At least, that was what she told me.

“He said some nobles were interested in supporting Alistair as king, in exchange for me.” I had a sharp smile on my face. This man had insulted me by assuming that I would sell myself. I hadn’t done that when others had tried back home, and that certainly wasn’t going to change now.

If Elissa and Alistair couldn’t find it in themselves to see how wrong the whole situation was, then that was fine. It didn’t mean that I would magically decide to roll over and accept whatever these people had planned for me.

“You...how? Marriage?” Elissa’s eyes narrowed at the Arl.

“Nope. As -get this- a mistress,” I laughed as if I found the whole ordeal ridiculous. Which I did, don’t misunderstand. This was stupid and pointless. And, once again, highly insulting. Aside from that, I think the man was blowing smoke up my ass. Who would want me as a mistress? “He wanted me to give myself away for sex and eye candy to some old asshole in exchange for their support in the Landsmeet.”

“As I said,” Arl Eamon stated in that ever calm voice, “you have made it clear you will not change your mind, so I will leave you be.”

“I should hope so,” Zevran growled, arms crossed over his chest.

“It is pointless to argue with Asaaranda,” Sten spoke up from the far side of the table. “She is a stubborn woman and will not change her views on a matter she feels strongly about.”

“Thank you, Sten.” I smiled at the gentle giant. I’d never call him that to his face, though. He had the scary Qunari reputation to uphold, after all. I did make a mental note to ask Sten what “asaaranda” meant, however. He was kind enough to teach me a few phrases and words in his native language, Qunlat, but I had never heard that one before.

Elissa informed Arl Eamon that there would be consequences if he bothered me with this again. After he assured her he was done with the matter, she left with Sten, Leliana, and Wynne to infiltrate Howe’s estate.

Even though we had arrived late at night yesterday, Elissa had to talk with the handmaiden of Queen Anora, wife of the late King Cailan, also known as Alistair’s half-brother. 

Anyway, back on track.

Apparently, the Queen needed rescuing because she was being held captive by Arl Howe. The man who was also responsible for the death of Elissa’s family.

Needless to say, Elissa was eager to deliver justice to the man. After she had left, Morrigan, Alistair, Zevran, and I went out into the city to find a way to expand their influence and to find support for Alistair.

It was going to be a very busy time.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1,000 hits!
> 
> * _Squeals_ *
> 
> If only there were that many kudos... _sigh_.
> 
> I'm messing with y'all.
> 
> You guys are awesome! Thank you!

The first thing we did was only because a Sergeant Kylon had recognized Alistair from some wanted posters. He asked us to clear out some thugs from a brothel, which Zevran jumped at the chance to do.

He said something along the lines of growing up in one, and then, because Zevran is Zevran, he made a joke about it, too. Again, deflecting with humor.

We trekked through back alleys and deserted streets to get the Pearl. I noticed the further away from the city market we got the worse the buildings were. The people became thinner looking, too.

“Why is it called a brothel?” Alistair questioned as we entered the surprisingly well-kept building. I suppose they needed to keep up appearances. “There’s no broth...or is there?”

I gave him a look that clearly asked what in the heck was going through his head at the moment. He only shrugged.

It was easy enough to find the thugs we were supposed to clear out, they were the only other patrons in the Pearl -other than a woman in the corner- that were armed.

“Let’s get this over with,” I sighed.

“By order of the guard, vacate the premises,” Alistair ordered, stepping up to the thugs.

“He is trying to get himself killed,” Morrigan drawled, leaning against her staff.

The man who looked to be in charge of the thugs came forward and laughed. “Get a load of this guard. You think you can tell us what to do?”

Sensing that the conversation was about to go to heck in a handbasket real quick, I stepped up beside Alistair. “What my friend here meant to say was, that it would be the smarter thing to leave. After all, nobles want solid, reliable soldiers. And we all know how nobles get when they’re angry.”

The leader frowned, but I could see the want of a fight drain from his eyes. “You have a point there. Men! Let’s clear out.”

“Words before violence,” I stated, patting Alistair on his shoulder.

The woman who, I guess, asked Kylon to find someone to clear out the place came up to us. “Well done. Tell Kylon I owe him one.”

“Will do.” I smiled politely and adjusted the straps on my dagger sheaths.

As we were preparing to leave, Zevran glanced at the woman in the corner before stopping in his tracks. I walked up beside him, glancing at the woman who just beat the crap out of three men who had cornered her. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, everything is fine.”

“An old friend?” I watched as the woman sent the three men running with their tails tucked between their legs.

“Of a sort.”

“Let’s go say hi, then.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the woman. She was pretty, with dark skin, bright brown eyes, and thick hair that I was jealous of.

When she spoke, it was with an accent that I hadn’t heard before. “Well, hello, sweet thing. How can I help you?”

I blushed but smiled at the woman. “Just bringing a friend over to say hi.”

“It is good to see you again, Isabela,” Zevran drawled.

“I’ll leave y’all to it then.” I walked back over to Morrigan and Alistair, closer to the door of the Pearl. 

* * *

**_Zevran’s P.O.V._ **

“Who was that?” Isabela asked, leaning back in her chair casually.

He smiled and glanced at Adoria as she and Morrigan picked on Alistair good-naturedly. He was worried about her after Elissa and Alistair finally confessed to one another, but she seemed to be doing fine. But, every now and again, he would catch her looking at the two of them with sadness coloring her honey brown eyes.

“She is a dear friend.”

Isabela grinned. “A friend, or a _friend_?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Just a friend.”

“Do you think she would be interested? A pretty little thing like her…,” she trailed off, looking over at where Adoria was now blushing at the brothel worker that had approached her. She was partially hiding behind Morrigan as if the older woman would protect her. Which, she probably would have. He believed that Adoria managed to warm everyone’s heart in the time she’s been with them.

After she had given Shale some gems that she thought would complement the golem and showed Oghren how to extract flavors from plants to make stronger, flavored drinks, even they opened up to her. And she didn’t interact with them very much.

“You may ask, but,” he warned, “I do not think she is interested in women. And if you call her a thing she may just end up hitting someone.”

Isabela cackled, “That is a shame. And I meant it only as the highest compliment, I promise.”

“I know that, but she would not. I’m afraid we must go now though. It was good to see you again.”

“You as well.” As Zevran walked away, Isabela called out, “Be sure to mention what I said!”

He laughed and assured her that he would.

“Ria, my dear,” Zevran threw an arm around her shoulders and winked at Isabela from across the room, “my friend over there is interested in spending some… _quality_ time with you.”

“Quality time as in…?” He nodded his head at her unfinished question and watched as her face turned blood red. “Um...let’s go.”

“I’m here at any time of the day, doll!” Isabela called out right before they disappeared out the door.

* * *

“Do not be embarrassed, my friend,” Zevran laughed.

I stuck my tongue out at him. I was still blushing from what that woman, Isabela, had said. That was the first time _anyone_ had offered something like that to me. I didn’t really know how to handle a situation like that.

We were walking through a back alley, taking a shortcut -at least according to Alistair- to get back to the estate quicker. We were laughing and joking with one another but at about the same time, Zevran and I fell quiet, shushing the others.

The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up and it was making me tense. I learned to trust this feeling. Thanks to Zevran and Leliana, it told me whenever someone was watching or trying to sneak up on me. It was also very nerve-wracking.

As we approached the steps to exit the alley, someone called out, “And so, here is one of the mighty Grey Wardens. The Crows, once again, send their greetings.”

I could see the blood drain from Zevran’s face, turning his tan skin pale.

“They sent you, Taliesen. Or did you volunteer for the job?” Zevran sneered. I knew Zevran was a Crow, after all, he had tried to kill us when we first met, but he seemed to know this man. Who was he?

The man, Taliesen, drawled, “I volunteered, of course. When I had heard you went rouge, I had to see for myself.”

I frowned as I looked at the bear traps placed in front of Alistair, at the bottom of the steps. It would be easy enough to just hop over them. Were they even trying to kill us?

“Is that so?” Zevran tossed his hands up in a “here I am” motion. “Well, here I am. In the flesh.”

Taliesen’s voice took on a pleading tone, “You can return with me. I know why you did this and I don’t blame you. It’s not too late, you know. We can make up a story. Anyone can make a mistake.”

Then it hit me. The way his face paled, how nervous he looked. Why he seemed to be stalling and talking like he knew this man. The way Taliesen spoke like he was an old friend.

“Is this the person who hurt you?” I whispered, face heating in rage instead of embarrassment this time.

“Leave it be, Ria,” he hissed back, answering my question.

“Hey!” I yelled, stepping forward so I was front and center. “Asshole!”

Taliesen looked down at me, disgust coloring his features. “And who are you?”

“He’s not going anywhere with you. His family and friends are here and if you have a problem with that then you can go suck an egg!”

The man sneered down at me and then all hell broke loose. Multiple other assassins poured out of every opening and shadow there was.

I rolled to the side to avoid the arrow someone shot at me. I came back up with my daggers in hand, and darted up the steps, leaping over the bear traps.

“ADORIA!”

I ignored the person yelling at me, probably Zevran, and bent low to dodge another arrow. I was zig-zagging up the steps, in an uneven pattern, attempting to keep from getting shot. By the time I was at the landing, I could hear the others coming up behind me.

I rolled under the swords two of the assassins swung at my head. I didn’t stop to kill them and focused on Taliesen. The man had hurt my friend. He had done something that caused Zevran to believe the worst in himself. I heard it in the way he talked about himself. Saying he didn’t have the heart for love. Telling me not to worry about who had hurt him and many other instances.

Taliesen stumbled backward in surprise. Honestly, I probably would have, too. I was sure I looked like a woman on a mission, searching for his death. I hoped he was scared.

He raised his daggers in a defensive position in front of him. I didn’t bother meeting him head on. Instead, I feinted to the right then, when he moved to defend his right side, I brought one dagger up, stabbing it through a slot in his armor plating, and into his lung. His breath stuttered in his chest as the daggers fell from his grip.

“I promised him that I would kick your ass,” I whispered into what little space there was between us.

I could hear the grinding of crossbows in the background so, with my dagger still in his side, I flipped my grip on the hilt, ducked behind him, and used my other dagger to hold him in place. Effectively using his body as a shield to protect myself from the bolts being fired.

When the two archers stopped to reload, I dropped his body and ran at them, killing them with a knife to the chest and throat respectfully. I had no idea where the two swordsmen that had tried to stop me were, but I assumed they were dead like all of the other assassins.

“Adoria.”

I looked down the steps to see Zevran storming up them, rage painting his features. There was a blood splatter across his forehead, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Are you crazy?” he exclaimed. “Do you have a death wish?”

I smiled and shook my head. “I’m alright. I did, after all, promise you that I’d kick his ass.”

He sighed before grabbing my face and tilting it side to side, looking for injuries I presumed. “I’m alright.”

“You do not feel ill?” he questioned, glancing back at Taliesen’s body.

I did feel nauseous, but nowhere close to throwing up. “I’m fine.”

“Let us go back to the estate, then. Perhaps there are some sweets in the kitchen.”

“Maybe. That’d be nice.” I smiled at the thought of some warm cookies. Or even fresh-baked bread.

“Thank you,” he whispered after we were on the road again. Alistair and Morrigan were ahead of us, bickering like normal.

I gave him a quick side hug. “Of course. You’ve said it yourself. We’re family.”

That was the first time I had ever seen a shy smile on Zevran’s face. It would probably be the last, too. But that was okay.

* * *

After being stopped again, this time by Sergeant Kylon and another fight, this time by the actual leader of those thugs we cleared out, we finally made it back to the estate.

The news Leliana shared with us, though, was anything but good.

“What do you mean, she’s been captured?” Alistair demanded, storming over to get in the woman’s face. “And you all did nothing?”

Leliana, as calm as could be, simply said, “We know where they took her. Zevran and I can infiltrate Fort Drakon and rescue her.”

“I’m going with you,” Alistair stated, already heading for the door.

I frowned and stepped into his path. He glared down at me and tried to step around my shorter frame. I stepped in front of him again. “I think it would be best if you waited here. Leli and Zev have done this type of stuff before. They have the best chance of getting her out of the fort. It’s hard to accept, but if you go it could just endanger her more.”

He continued glaring at me for a minute more before grunting in frustration. Throwing his hands up in the air, he stormed off, further into the estate.

“Bring her back,” he called over his shoulder.

I sighed and wished Leliana and Zevran good luck before going to the estate’s library.

I would need something to pass the time because I knew I would be up all night worrying about my family.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a link to the song Sleepsong by _Secret Garden_ that I do not, nor claim to, own: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yQpU_73Dv0

After Leliana and Zevran rescued Elissa, Morrigan and Wynne spent hours healing the wounds she had. I stayed out of the way. The mages would be able to heal her a lot quicker than I could. I was able to catch sight of a few gashes along her back and several other bruised areas. It made me sick, thinking of what she had to go through. I’m glad that she was only in there for less than a few hours.

Thanks to Morrigan and Wynne, Elissa was healed and good as new in no time. And because there was apparently a lot to do that couldn’t wait until she rested for a few days, she dragged me, Zevran, and Morrigan out to investigate the Alienage.

If I had thought the houses in the marketplace were run down, this place was terrible.

There was nothing but what looked like one room, wooden shacks with patchy roofs made of a mix of wood and straw. I never thought a house could _sag_ and each house looked like it was holding up the one next to it. The roads weren’t cobbled and, as a result, were nothing but mud.

People -elves- sat along the side of the road, glaring at us with mistrust as we walked further into the Alienage, towards a towering tree with twisting branches reaching up to touch the sky. There were small candles around the base and some people were on their knees, seeming to pray.

The sound of angry yelling grew louder the closer we got. Elissa asked us to wait while she went to figure out what was going on. She went to go talk to a red-haired woman who looked to be the angriest of them all.

“Who are you?”

I looked down at the voice and found a small girl staring up at me. Behind her were several other children all ranging in ages. I recognized the look on their face. The hopelessness. The gaunt cheeks showing that they were malnourished and their thin arms and boney fingers.

I bent down so I was eye to eye with the child. “My name is Adoria. Where are your parents?”

The little girl took several steps backward and I tried to give her a soft smile, showing I meant her no harm.

“They were sick,” another small voice spoke up from the group.

Another one from the back, “They went in the hospice and haven’t come out yet. It’s been days.”

I frowned. Was there a serious sickness going around? If so, who was looking after these kids? I dug around in my coin pouch and pulled out a large handful of silver coins. “Here. Use this to get food and shoes for everyone but don’t let anyone know how much you have. They may try to steal it. If anyone asks where you got the money, tell them that your parents sent you out because they were busy.”

“Thank you,” the little girl up front whispered, accepting the coin.

“How about a song?” I asked. Songs always brightened people's days. It was part of the reason why I started singing in the first place.

The children nodded their heads and gathered around. I smiled and looked around, this song was better with instrumental music to accompany it. I noticed something that looked like a deformed guitar leaning against one of the builds, so I went over to grab it and hum a note before trying to match it on the instrument. Surprisingly, the thing seemed to be in tune. Morrigan looked at me in surprise, “I did not know you played the lute.”

“I don’t, actually.” Then I explained while strumming a few cords, “We have something similar back home. It seems to work the same.”

I had taken lessons at the recreation center back home with guitar and piano, but that was years ago. I guess, you never _really_ forget things like that, though.

I didn’t dare sit down in the mud, so I didn’t have anything to prop the...lute on. I hoped I didn’t drop it.

I hummed the song to myself before I remembered where to put my fingers to play. When I had that down, I started singing _Sleepsong by Secret Garden_.  
**_  
"Lay down your head and I’ll sing you a lullaby  
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay  
And I’ll sing you to sleep and I’ll sing you tomorrow  
Bless you with love for the road that you go_**

**_May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune  
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet  
And my you need never banish misfortune  
May you find kindness in all that you meet_ **

**_May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay"_ **

I smiled up at the children as I strummed the chorus on the lute. They were grinning widely as they listened intently. Even some of the adults that were praying around the tree were coming over to listen.  
**_  
"May you bring love and may you bring happiness  
Be loved in return to the end of your days  
Now fall off to sleep, I’m not meaning to keep you  
I’ll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay_**

**_  
May there always be angels to watch over you  
To guide you each step of the way  
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm  
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay_ **

**_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay_ **

**_Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay..."_ **

After I finished, the gathered crowd clapped. I thanked them, blushing profusely, and put the lute back in its place.

“That was lovely, Adoria,” Elissa complemented. “Are you all ready to go?”

I nodded my head and followed Elissa and the others while she explained what was going on. After we went behind the back of the Hospice, her voice dropped in volume.

“I think something is wrong. Tevinter mages? In Ferelden? Something is amiss,” she stated, walking up the steps of the back door.

After talking with the guard stationed at the door, Elissa simply bribed him and we slipped into the Hospice.

I jumped back out of the door, almost falling down the stairs when someone swung a sword directly for our heads. I pulled out my bow and drew back, firing at the closest person.

They had their sword raised above their head and, as my arrow found its way into their chest, Elissa blocked the sword and shoved her own through the leather armor, into his stomach. Morrigan and Zevran dealt with the other people in the Hospice relatively quickly.

After making sure no one else was going to jump out at us, I finally allowed myself to focus on the scene in front of me.

There were indeed cots, but there were no patients to occupy them. Instead, the people who should have been looked over for illness were looked up in cages. And, much like when we found Sten, they couldn’t sit down and there were two or three cramped into the same cage. They were more malnourished than the children outside and there was an ever-present terror in their large eyes.

“Oh God…,” I whispered, hand covering my mouth in horror. Why would someone do this to these people? Didn’t they have enough problems?

I rushed over to the cells, using my newly learned lock picking skill to open the cages. At the time Leliana proposed I learn lock picking, I had wondered why or where I would use it. Now, I made a mental note to thank her for teaching me. She even gave me a set of locks to practice on, all raging in types and difficulty. It made the passing of time when bored a lot quicker.

“Go back to your families,” I spoke softly, not wanting to scare them any more than what they were already. “Do you know if there are others?”

One man pointed towards the back door. “They took the others through there.”

I smiled at the man, thanked him, and sent them on their way.

“This is starting to look like slavers,” Elissa sighed. “I have a key. Let’s go deal with these scum.”

“Yes,” I muttered darkly, looking at my hands. I could still feel the thin arms of the child I had helped out of a cage under my hands. It was something that was all too familiar. “Let’s.”

We went back through the door and further into the alley. There was only one way to go, seeing as how the other way led back to the center of the Alienage.

We stormed through the run-down apartment building, killing any slaver that jumped out to meet us until we eventually reached a massive room that made me sick. My face twisted in rage.

The thick metal cages that lined the walls were filled to the brim with elves. Young and old; sick and healthy; women, men, and children. The adults had to hunch over in the cages, not able to stand all the way up. They were packed into the cages, one person on top of the other with no room to sit down. The entire room smelled of body odor, feces, and urine.

I did not know how long these people had been trapped, but I could only guess for a very long time.

“I am Caladrius,” I looked down to see a bald man with a well-trimmed beard speaking. “And you must be the Grey Warden I’ve heard so much about.”

“You’ve heard of me?” Elissa questioned, head tilting in confusion.

The man scoffed. “One can hardly get a word out of the region other than Warden. These days, it's passed even gold in popularity.”

I could feel the fog in my mind solidifying, making it possible to see the man’s aura, as I had taken to calling it. The wavering field around him extending further into the air than the others only confirmed that he was a mage along with the staff on his back.

“You,” I growled, stepping forward, the shield flaring from my mind. “You did this.”

“Did what exactly?” The man drawled, “I have done many things in my life.”

“You kidnapped these people.” I stepped forward again, bracing my hands against the upper floor railing.

The man outright laughed. “They are hardly people. Just look at them.”

My vision tunneled.

The other slavers standing on the bottom floor disappeared. Elissa, Zevran, and Morrigan became dim spots in my peripherals.

The shield flared from my mind again as my rage soared. And I let it. I did not try to stop it as it manifested itself around the man, stopping at the edge of his aura.

“You did this to them,” I hissed and the shield shrunk, closing against his aura.

His face paled and he stumbled on his feet but remained standing. And that wouldn’t do.

“You pushed them into cages.” The shield got smaller and the man fell to his knees, clutching his head in pain. I could dimly feel someone’s hand on my arm. He was just like _Mother_. Putting several children into a room that was only big enough for four.

“You treat them like they are objects.” My knuckles turned white against the railing as the shield pressed closer. I could see the blood coming from the man’s nose. Who was he to decide that someone else -a living person- was to be treated in such a way? He was just as bad as those nobles in Orzammar. Deciding that just because someone was born without a caste that they were automatically outlaws and thugs. Simply because they weren’t born with the “right” blood.

“You deserve to die a painful death and I hope those gods you worship put your soul through hell so that you may _never_ know peace." Despite my anger, I never yelled, my voice was steady and calm.

The shield pressed against his skin, effectively cutting off his aura. At this point, he was curled in on himself, covering his ears as blood leaked from between his fingers.

Then, the shield seeped into his body.

I could feel something from where I was standing. Like a fire burning with life. But, at the same time, more like the flow of a river, coming from somewhere unknown and ending with him.

With a sick feeling of justice, I cut off the flow of the water and felt the fire flicker and die.

The man released a painful scream before collapsing. Dead.

The world rushed back in the flash of lightning from Morrigan’s fingertips and the sound of metal against metal and the screams of the dying.

I closed my eyes and held a hand to my head, fighting off the dizziness that almost knocked me off of my feet.

“Welcome back. That was most impressive,” Morrigan stated.

I grunted, trying to breathe through the headache that pulsed against my temples. Extreme fatigue rolled over my body, making my arms feel heavy and weak.

Still, I managed to state in my anger, “He deserved every bit of suffering I put him through.”

Morrigan looked at me in shock. And honestly, I was surprised by what I said, too. Still, I felt like this man had got what he deserved. I shouldn’t have been the one to put him to death, but I couldn’t find it in myself to really care.

All that mattered at that moment was this horrible man was dead and he wouldn’t enslave another elf again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Adoria in Origins is almost done! Two or three more chapters and then it's on to Adoria in Kirkwall...where she meets someone that might return her feelings this time. * _wink, wink_ *

I hummed to myself as I counted the arrows in my quiver. Elissa and Alistair were getting ready for the Landsmeet, preparing speeches and gathering last-minute allies. True to his word, Arl Eamon didn’t bother me again with the offer. I would probably lose my temper and fly off the handle and that wouldn’t be good. That man had the authority to kill me.

There was a soft knock on the door followed by a quiet, “Adoria?”

“Come on in, Leli,” I called over my shoulder as I tightened the straps of the quiver so it rested snuggly against my body. “I’m almost ready to go.”

While we were staying with the Dalish Leliana had tracked down someone from her past and had asked if I would be interested in helping her deal with them. I agreed because she’s like a sister to me.

“Do you have a moment to talk?” she asked, walking further into the room. I raised an eyebrow when Zevean and Morrigan came in behind her.

“I guess. Is something wrong?”

“Morrigan told us about what you did to that mage. And what you had said afterward.” Leliana glanced at the two other people before focusing on me once more. “We just wanted to know if you were alright?”

“I'm fine.” I shrugged.

The truth was that I was fighting back the memory of what I had done to that man. He was a terrible, horrible person who deserved some type of punishment for what he had done. But I wasn’t the one who should have decided on what to do to him. I didn’t feel bad about killing him, though. The only thing that bothered me was how easily I had given in to my rage and how I didn’t try to control my ability and let it run rampant.

“Are you sure you are alright, my friend?” Zevran came over to sit on the bed.

I laughed and looked between the three of my friends. “Is this an intervention? I’m alright.”

“I find myself having a hard time forgetting what you said after you had killed that man,” Morrigan stated, leaning against her staff. Her bright yellow eyes followed me as I sat beside Zevran.

“It was true, if harsh. What is this about?”

Zevran looked at me with concerned eyes. “We just want to make sure you are alright, that is all. And if you knew what prompted you to do such a thing, because that was not like you.”

“This world is volatile and unfair. If what I did helped bring some justice to this world, then so be it. That man was a terrible person for doing that to those people.”

He frowned. “This does not sound like you at all. Ria, what made you do that?”

I chewed on my lip and looked away. Should I explain it to them? Would they even understand?

With a sigh, I stood up and started pacing. “That man...I...I used him as an outlet for my anger. I don’t feel bad about his death, although I probably should. I killed him more violently than I did that man on the way to Orzammar.”

“An outlet for what?” Leliana pressed, watching me with sharp, kind eyes.

“For everything in this world and mine. I couldn’t do anything when the nobles of Orzammar would sneer and spit at the mention of the casteless, calling them worthless and thugs. I grew up hearing that was all I would be, a worthless nobody who would have to spread her legs to survive.

“I couldn’t do anything for the Dalish elves who lost their homeland and many of their family and friends due to one man’s pride and an insane need for revenge. I never knew home and neither did those elves outside of their aravels.

“I couldn’t help those frail children in the Alienage. I couldn’t magically make sure that they were eating enough, that they were warm and had clothes and a place to sleep. We were almost too late to help the elves trapped in those cages. Much like back home, where eight or ten children would share a room only meant for four. Or having your meals taken away when you were blamed for something you didn’t do.

“That man was the first time I felt like I could deliver justice for the people who couldn’t do it themselves. That is why I can’t feel bad about his death but at the same time wish I wasn’t the one who killed him. It should have been the people he wronged.”

They all looked at me with varying degrees of sympathy and sadness. I had to turn away. I received those looks before whenever I would mention I was an orphan and I hated them every time. “Let’s go. We have a bard to track down.”

Despite my tough-guy front I put on, I knew I would probably have nightmares about killing that man. I didn’t know what those feelings were after my shield had sunk into him. Maybe the fire was his life force while the river was his connection to the Fade.

I could cut off that river, his connection to the Fade, and at the same time, feel that fire die out because of it. It was like I had pushed several boulders to block the river, causing it to splash onto the fire and put it out.

I wondered what would happen if, instead of pushing boulders, I simply built a dam in front of the river, cutting the mage’s connection to the Fade slowly, without risk of splashing water onto that fire.

_Could I do that without killing someone?_

I shook my head to clear the morbid thought. There was no reason as to why I would need to do that to someone.

* * *

“It is alright Leli,” I whispered, holding the shaking redhead back at the estate.

After we had killed Marjolaine, a bard and someone from Leliana’s past, she had come into my room, looking like she was having a midlife crisis.

“No, it’s not,” she stated, pulling away. “I _enjoyed_ killing her. Seeing her dead gave me satisfaction.”

“She did you a great injustice.” I tried to console her as she paced back and forth. I hated seeing my friend -my sister- like this. “It is only human, don’t punish yourself.”

“That is no reason to rejoice over her death. That is what she would do and I do not want that. A part of me has enjoyed hunting down and killing people. I...I can feel myself slipping.”

I reached up and grabbed her by her shoulders. I couldn’t be that intimidating to the woman who was several inches taller than me. “Listen to me, Leli. I learned this early on. It doesn’t matter what _she_ did. What _she_ enjoyed. You are your own person and you decide who you will be.”

She looked at me with tear-filled, blue eyes. It was clear that she was distraught, even without her words.

“I have much to consider and think on. Thank you, Adoria.”

I smiled and hugged her one last time before she left. I hoped she would be alright. Words could only do so much.

* * *

I looked on from the balcony beside Arl Eamon. The throne room of the castle was far from empty. Every lord and lady with any sort of sway was here, all eager to state their opinion on who needs to be the ruler of Ferelden.

All of their postering made my stomach turn.

Today was the day of the Landsmeet. Elissa and Alistair spent all night preparing speeches and who knew what else, trying to get ready for today.

Zevran and Morrigan were down there with them as they faced off against Loghain. Everyone else was up in the balcony, with Leliana and myself closest to the edge, bows within easy reach if we needed them.

“I’m nervous,” I whispered to Leliana. She nodded her head in agreement. She had come to thank me that morning for helping her renew her faith both in herself and her Maker.

I was glad I could help her. She looked much better than she had since the Dalish camp.

The argument went on between Elissa, Alistair, Loghian, and his daughter, the Queen, Anora.

They talked circles around one another, each accusing the other of something. In the end, the Landsmeet was divided with the majority in favor of Alistair as king. The side that supported Loghain and the side that supported Alistair were ready to destroy each other. Could people not see that their “hero” was responsible for the death of their king and his son-in-law?

Thankfully, a Chantry mother stepped in. “In the days of old, these situations were solved with a duel.”

And so, Alistair and Loghain dueled, with Alistair coming out on top, settling the debate in that moment. Most of the nobles were happy but there were a few who would make Alistair's time as king very difficult. At least until he proved he could do the job and handle the responsibilities. Or until Elissa threatened them with bodily harm.

There were several more minutes of deciding what to do with Loghain and his daughter.

Anora was to be locked up since she refused to relinquish her claims to the throne. While Alistair insisted on executing Loghain, holding him responsible for the death of his mentor, Duncan at Ostagar, where this whole mess started. 

I wasn’t there for the battle, and what I had heard made me happy I wasn’t. Morrigan told me horror stories of what she saw of the aftermath and Elissa shared what the battle actually looked like.

Besides, with the approaching Horde, I would learn what it was like to be in a full-blown battle before long. I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought. It was not something I was looking forward to.

I had asked Morrigan if we could practice making my shield into a solid force, one that could be felt physically rather than something that just cut off and stopped magic. She told me I needed to save my strength for the coming battle, stating that it may save lives but only if it was strong enough. So, in other words, politely refusing with an explanation.

I couldn’t blame her, though. Every time I had tried to make my shield into a physical force, something would happen. I would lose control and it would snap back into me, sending me flying into the wall. Or, the force would expand rapidly in a dome rather than a straight line, pushing everything out of its way. On top of that, the whole ordeal left me drained and exhausted.

The Landsmeet ended with Elissa and Alistair announcing that they would marry after the final battle and the Archdemon laid dead. The nobles rejoiced. They were getting a king and, shortly after, a queen of one of the oldest noble bloodlines in Ferelden.

It still hurt emotionally to hear that, but I congratulated them, pushing my childish feelings to the side. I had been over this with myself time and again. I may care for him, but I also cared for Elissa. Besides that, they would be happier together than apart, that much I knew. So I kept silent and shut my feelings out until I could analyze them later and deem them silly and pointless.

* * *

The following week, scouts reported that the bulk of the Horde was moving towards Redcliffe and that if we left now, we would beat them there with ample amount of time.

So, we packed up and left, the army marching right behind us.

Elissa sent word to our alleys in Orzammar, the Circle, and the Dalish to be ready.

Nerves ran high the entire walk to Redcliffe, so I sang to a large number of people to help pass the time and lighten their spirits. It could be the last time they had a chance to feel happiness or peace, and I would be glad to give that to them.

I normally would have been happy to see the massive hills of Redcliffe, of the thought of a hot bath, but now...now it made my heart clench and sink to my stomach.

I would pray to whatever gods I could that we all made it out of the battle. This was not going to be easily won.


	30. Chapter 30

Once we made it to Redcliffe, from dawn to dusk the majority of our time was spent fortifying the village and evacuating people to Redcliffe Castle. It was the most logical choice to place the people who couldn’t protect themselves.

I spent my time preparing tonics, poultices, and potions during those days we waited and watched.

Everyone was on edge. Fights broke out between acquaintances and long-time friends. I had to patch up more broken noses than I cared to count. I still sang to people and that seemed to help. I was even taught a few dances from some of the more friendlier soldiers.

Eventually, the day arrived where we would face the darkspawn.

I stood on the platforms we built to give the mages and archers a height advantage. Leliana and Morrigan were beside me. The others of our mismatched family were somewhere lost in the crowd below us.

I had faced darkspawn before, it was nothing new. But a group in the number the scouts reported? Just the thought had my blood running cold and my hands clamming up.

I could feel them approaching before they released the signal.

Even if my leg wasn’t throbbing with blazing heat, it would have been obvious that the darkspawn were approaching. The smell of death and the sounds of growls preceded the monsters.

But the moment they swarmed over the hills, we archers pulled back and released, followed by the mages releasing devastating fire spells.

The first wave of the darkspawn were dead within moments. We were told not to exhaust ourselves, this was a battle after all, and I don’t think that we did. But...this all seemed too easy.

The voice in the back of my mind warned me that something was wrong, even as I drew back to fire at the next wave.

* * *

My suspicions about the battle in Redcliffe were right. It turned out that it was merely a distraction for the actual Horde to move unopposed to Denerim. So, that day, we set out to meet them.

There was no way we would have been able to beat the Horde to the city. Had a smaller group gone, they would have been outnumbered. But, had the entire army rode through the nights they would have been drained and tired. And that was assuming that it would have been worth it to beat the Horde to the city.

No, instead, those who needed to, said their goodbyes, and the entirety of our army set out.

Throughout the march, I spent every evening with Elissa and the other high-ranking officers of our allies. For some reason, Elissa had remembered that I was in a tactics club and thought that my input would be good. Not that it mattered much, they didn’t seem to want to listen to my suggestions. Elissa made sure that, while they may not have been heeded, they were at least heard.

“What do the scouts report?” I asked, staring at the map in front of me.

“The Horde hasn’t reached the city yet, but the Archdemon is leading them so the city will be taken very easily.” One of the tacticians from Arl Eamon’s men waved a hand in dismissal. “I do not know why you are here. Honestly. The war tent is no place for a healer.”

I felt my eyebrow twitch in annoyance. I was fed up with this. Ever since Elissa invited me to join them, all I heard was “why is _she_ here?” or “does she have anything of value to add?”.

“You know what?” I slammed my hands down on the table, rattling the markers. I made eye contact with everyone around the table as I spoke. “I’ve had it. You need to shut up and actually listen to what I am saying. Obviously, your superiors thought that I had something of value to add so if you have a problem with me being here, take it up with them. If not, then can we get on with this meeting?”

No one responded, just tilted their nose up in indifference.

“That’s a no, then? Good. I was getting tired of hearing you old dogs barking.” I pointed to the city. “You said yourself, the city will be easily taken. I suggest that-”

“We do not want your suggestions,” one of the men growled.

I glared at him, the shield flaring from my mind in response to my emotions. He winced when he saw my scathing glare and looked away. I could see his throat bobbing.

“As I was saying. We need to limit the areas that the Horde can access. I suggest we break the army into groups, each group entering the city at a different point, all driving them back to the marketplace, where another detachment will be waiting for them. We’d have the majority of the Horde in one place, making the battle easier to control and they would be fighting on multiple fronts.”

“How can you be so sure that they will be corralled?” I didn’t bother looking at who asked.

I made eye contact with Elissa from across the table. She was grinning like a proud parent. I looked away and stared at my hands. “I have a way. We need to make an evacuation plan for the survivors we find. I suggest using Arl Eamon’s estate. It’s spacious enough and easily defendable, meaning fewer men needed to protect the people.”

“We can have smaller groups of maybe three or four men to get the survivors to safety. The estate would have to be cleared out first, though,” Elissa stated, looking at the map.

We spent the rest of the night planning where to move the soldiers.

* * *

My heart sunk.

I had thought that the amount of darkspawn in Redcliffe was a lot. But, no… No...that wasn’t even close to the numbers of the bulk of their army.

In Redcliffe, that was nothing but a...detachment of the real army.

This...this was...the _Horde_.

The sky burned red, along with my leg. Smoke buried the sun in thick plumes, watery light painting the day grey and dull.

Even from far away, the sounds of screams carried on the wind that smelled of death and the sharp scent of blood.

And in the distance, near the Royal Palace and Fort Drakon, I could see the spout of colored fire and the tips of massive wings.

“This is...death,” I whispered, eyes wide as I stood beside Leliana and Zevran.

For our plan to work, the bulk of our army needed to clear out the market district. During the battle, Leliana and Zevran would make sure that the three of us could slip around the battle without notice. Letting me leave a trail of my blood from the other city entry points to the market district, hopefully driving the darkspawn mad and making them less organized.

Elissa and Alistair addressed the army before sending them towards the city. After the last of the men had left -some groups leaving to wait for our signal by the other entry points- they came over to us.

“Be careful,” Elissa ordered, gripping my shoulders. “Be sure to stick close to Leliana and Zevran, they’ll keep you safe. And please, all three of you, return in one piece.”

I smiled at the older woman and nodded my head. I hugged both of them, knowing it could be the last time I saw either one of them.

I pulled the black cloak over my shoulders, tugging up the mask and the hood.

I turned to face Leli and Zev. “We need to be careful. They’re drawn to my blood so they’ll notice when I’m there. I think there will be enough time between us that the market will be mostly cleared, but still. These things can pop up like Candy Man.” I shuddered.

“Like...what?” Leliana asked, head tipped to the side.

“Oh...um. Nevermind. It would take time we don’t have to explain. Ready to go?”

“Yes. Let us rain death upon these monsters,” Zevran cackled daggers glinting at his sides.

I smiled at them and we set out, keeping to the shadows as we headed towards the city.

* * *

I was right.

When we arrived, the major part of the battle was over, the soldiers taking out what few darkspawn remained. The city smelled of death, blood, and smoke. There was a heavy thickness in the air that made it hard to breathe.

We discarded our cloaks, seeing as how we only had them for a precaution anyway.

We walked around the outside of the market, smearing my blood along the buildings or letting it drop on the cobblestones.

By the time we were done with that, it was time to send up the signal. Leliana helped me climb up on the roof of one of the more stable buildings.

That was one thing we had decided on in our meetings. The archers would get to the roofs of any building that looked like it could hold them and the mages would use mainly ice, mental, or spiritual spells. If they had to they were allowed to use other spells, but we warned them to stay away from fire spells if possible. The flames would only cause more trouble if something went aflame. 

Some of the soldiers would be lined up at the other entrances to the market. We had broken them down into groups. There were pikemen, who had spear-like weapons -pikes- and those who would carry tower shields and swords. Those with shields would have their swords out and their shields covering most of their body and lined up side by side. The pikemen would be directly behind them. In a Sparta-like fashion, they would have their pikes out for the darkspawn to throw themselves at.

Several yards in -closer to the middle of the market- were the regular soldiers and a few mages. They were the next line of defense after the darkspawn had broken through the first line. And throughout it all, the archers standing along the roofs would be firing arrow after arrow at any darkspawn they could hit.

“Is the estate cleared out?” I asked the nearest captain after I had climbed back down from the roof. I had gotten to survey the battlefield and I didn’t need to be up there right now.

The estate was the first thing we had asked to be cleared. We had sent a small group of soldiers, mages, and archers to the estate. All they were to do was to make sure that the people brought back by the recovery teams were safe and the injured were taken care of.

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted, banging his fist against his chest. The first time I saw that Hitler popped into my mind. I had silently laughed at that and then berated myself for doing so.

“Round up all the injured,” I ordered. “If they can’t fight, send them to the estate. If all they need is a patch up, find the nearest healer and get them back on their feet. We can’t afford to lose any men. The signal needs to go up in, no more than, five minutes.”

“Ma’am.” He saluted again.

I nodded my head and climbed back onto the roof.

“Will this work?” Leliana asked.

I frowned and looked down at my bandaged hand. I had refused the health potion Morrigan had offered, saying someone else would need it more. She had been acting strange, more distant. And that's saying something. Had what was even stranger that Elissa specifically ordered that Morrigan not be put into any unnecessary danger. I figured Elissa would be worried about her, but the two of them did not get along all that well so this amount of concern worried me. I felt terrible for feeling that way.

I cleared my head of my thoughts and answered Leliana, “It has to.”

A bright, white light stood out against the red sky.

“We’ll find out soon,” I stated, readying my bow while my heart thumped in my ears. “There’s the signal.”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drum roll, please!
> 
> ...  
> ..  
> .
> 
> The first installment of Adoria's Escapades Through Thedas is finished!
> 
> Keep an eye out for the next one, Adoria in Kirkwall!

My arm burned from the number of arrows I had fired. My leg throbbed in time with my racing heartbeat and sweat dripped down my brow in the watery light.

The darkspawn had flowed through the other entrances into the market, letting Elissa, Alistair, Wynne, and Leliana slip past the fighting to kill the Archdemon.

Leliana had stayed with me until she saw them and followed. There was another Warden that I had seen in passing, Riordan, but I hadn’t seen him since the fighting had started.

Now, Morrigan was by my side, slinging ice spells like it was breathing.

My blood had done its job and the darkspawn seemed to lose their collective mind. They became more predictable and didn’t seem to be paying attention to the soldiers hacking and slashing at them. They only seemed focused on finding me.

I made sure to kill any of the monsters that had gotten too close.

Sadly, there were more than was reported and we were quickly becoming overwhelmed.

“We can not hold out like this,” Morrigan stated, downing a lyrium potion. I had never seen her use one of them before and the fact that she was down scared me. It always seemed like her mana pool was bottomless.

I opened my mouth to reply, but the ground started shaking violently. I stopped firing and held my arms out by my sides to try and get my balance back as the building below our feet wobbled. I tried to ignore the sound of part of the building crumbling.

“You need to get down,” I ordered, pulling back to fire at the beasts that came barreling into the district, knocking down our lines of defense like they were nothing. “I think the building is going to come down.”

They were massive. About a story tall with horns adorning the top of their heads and adding almost two feet to their height. Just the sight of the horns had my mind conjuring up images of people impaled on them.

My stomach turned as one of the beasts picked up two soldiers in one burly fist and slammed them against the ground. And then, as if that wasn’t enough to kill them, it raised its foot the size of a table and stomped on their bodies.

I had to turn away as I saw innards and blood start oozing out of their corpse.

“What about you?” Morrigan asked, heading towards the ladder.

I fired again, hitting one of the beasts in the chest. It reeled backward before its soulless eyes locked with mine. I could have sworn my heart stopped beating in my chest as it started tearing its way through the soldiers. Heading straight for me.

“Um…,” I tried to keep my voice steady as I fired again. “I’ll be down soon.”

Morrigan was already down the ladder by the time the beast was a few yards away. It would be on me in any minute and my arrows had only served to make it angry. I could see the large puffs of breath fogging in the air.

I slung my bow over my shoulder, thinking as I looked around.

I frowned, the sound of men screaming ringing loud in my ears. I had nothing up here to get me out of this mess. My hands curled into fists before I sucked in a breath at the dull pain that radiated through my hand.

_Wait..._

I yanked off the bandage, looking at the wound that had reopened from my grip on the bow.

A glance between the beast and my hand confirmed my course of action. I pulled out my daggers, coating the blades in my blood before downing a health potion to get the wound to stop bleeding.

I rewrapped it and readied myself. If it took a mouthful of my blood for a regular darkspawn to die, what would something that size have to ingest? And what if it was put directly into its bloodstream?

The scholar in me was soothed when I mumbled, “Time to find out.”

The beast crouched down, one fist braced against the ground before it released a roar and charged at the building with its head down.

I took several steps back, trying to ignore the sounds of men being trampled or impaled on the monster’s horns.

When it was right at the building, I sprinted towards the edge and -with a small heart palpitation- landed on the beast’s back. My daggers sunk into its flesh, black blood oozing out of the wounds as I pulled one dagger out and slammed it back into a different spot, higher on it’s back. I repeated the process until I was near the back of the beast’s head.

It was hard to ignore the churning of my stomach at the sight of men and women impaled on the monster’s horns and their still warm blood dripping down its back and staining my clothes. I refused to look more at the sight, else I would find intestines and organs decorating the shoulders of the monster.

With a roar of my own, I brought my blades up to slam it into the back of its neck, but it turned -dead bodies swinging limply with its movements- and banged it’s head against the wall nearest us.

I was able to pull my daggers out at the last second and drop from the beast’s back.

When my feet made contact with the ground, I rolled to distribute the force of my fall. It still hurt though and I could swear my bones had rattled when I made contact with the red-painted ground.

A shadow looming over me was all the warning I had as a foot the size of me came down where I was standing. Thankfully, I jumped to the side, slashing at the back of its ankle before twisting to the left to avoid being kicked backward by its heel.

“Please work,” I panted, dodge its swinging fists and kicking feet. At one point, it had -I wish I hadn’t seen this- plucked one of the bodies from its horns like you would an apple and tossed it at me.

I almost puked as I slid under the mangled corpse.

My luck ran out though, because of course it does, and the outside of its fist made contact with my stomach, sending me rolling across the ground and into a wall.

It was a struggle to get to my hands and knees and I knew I could get no further than that. The cough that banged around my chest brought blood with it as it passed my lips.

I looked up, vision hazy, as the monster stomped towards me, roaring its triumph.

I could only bare bloodied teeth. Honestly, it was a surprise I still had them all. I had figured at some point that I would lose at least one. I hoped not though. I liked my teeth.

I laughed at myself as the monster raised its foot. I was going to _die_ and I was concerned about my teeth.

“RIA!” Blood was smeared across Zevran’s tanned skin, his whiskey-colored eyes wide with terror, and arms pumping by his sides as he raced towards me. I smiled at him, my own blood dripping from the corner of my mouth. I was sure something was broken and probably punctured. I could still move my back and legs so maybe it was a rib bone in my lung?

Still, I would show my friend that I was scared despite my heart clogging up my throat as I waited for death. So, I kept smiling even as the monster lifted up its foot and brought it racing towards my torso.

_I wonder what will kill me first. Blood loss? Or maybe organ failure? Perhaps my lungs would collapse and I would suffocate first?_

“ _Oomph!_ ” I grunted, wheezing in a breath as someone barreled into my side and lifted me from the ground.

The person lost their footing, however, and sent us rolling again. I panted as my head lolled to the side, trying to get a glimpse of what had happened as my vision dulled.

_Why was I always the one passing out?_

I saw a familiar face getting to his feet, crown shining on his head and weapon in hand, roaring a challenge at the beast who was none to please at having its kill stolen. I watched as Tetrak raced towards the monster, swinging his axe left and right, drawing blood, and dancing between its legs with the grace of a dancer.

_It didn’t work._

My heart slowed in my chest as someone leaned over me.

I looked up at Morrigan, face grim as I croaked, “It didn’t...didn’t...work.”

She smiled sadly and poured health potion after health potion down my throat, only pausing when I started choking over the bitter liquid. If it could be called that. It was almost like swallowing watered-down syrup.

The sound of surprised gasps had me glancing over at the battle still raging. Over the dead littering the ground and the blood staining the earth, I could see the beast Tetrak was attacking freeze up, its body going stiff.

My eyebrows rose. _Or maybe it did._

With a roar that rattled the very ground -and I could see loose rocks bouncing- the skin melted off the beast and much like the darkspawn in Orzammar, it ended with rotted-looking bones.

The only thing that wasn’t the same was the chain reaction it started.

One by one, the darkspawn closest to the beast started doing the same and it echoed all around the battlefield.

I swear my heart stopped dead in my chest as I watched with wide eyes.

 _How?! This...this shouldn’t be possible! I thought they had to_ ingest _my blood!_

I was too tired to even cry out in pain as the rib that had been broken snapped back into place. What was even scarier was when I could _feel_ the hole in my lung patch itself up. I looked up at Morrigan, eyes closing. “I’m...go...go….going to...slee…”

“No. No, Adoria, stay awake,” she ordered, but her words were hard to understand and sounded like they were being spoken through a wall of water.

The red sky was lit up in a blinding light as the vision blackened. I could dimly hear the echoing of a pained screech.

* * *

I had smiled and clapped alongside Leliana and Zevran.

The wedding was beautiful and the bride and groom looked like they were the happiest people in the world at the moment.

Then again, I suppose that's how most wedding couples look. I had noticed Tetrak somewhere among the crowd. Apparently, he was able to get the Assembly to allow him to leave Orzammar with his army to fight alongside us _and_ keep his title.

I sipped at the water. Wynne had refused to let me drink any wine because of the head injury that I hadn’t known I had received. Oghren had jumped in on my behalf, saying alcohol solved everything.

Alas, I was still refused. So while everyone else was getting drunk, telling life plans, and celebrating Elissa and Alistair’s marriage, I had to sit there with a miserable headache that made me dizzy if I moved too fast.

“I believe I will go back to The Temple of Sacred Ashes,” Leliana stated, taking a bite out of some type of frilly cake. I think someone mentioned they were a gift from the ruler of Orlais. Or well...the baker who made them was.

“I was never able to see it. Was it beautiful?” I questioned, swallowing an elfroot pill. I had managed to get a blacksmith to forge me a press to make pills in. They took up less space and were more potent when mixed with other ingredients, too. Made for an excellent painkiller and didn’t taste like dirt and moldy grass.

“It was amazing. The halls were twice as big as the throne room. Crisp sunlight flowing uninterrupted through archways and windows.” Leli sighed in bliss, “And the mountain air.”

I smiled at my friend. “I hope you enjoy it. And Zevran?”

The elf grinned wickedly. “I believe I am going to hunt down the Crows. It is better to strike at them before they do me, yes?”

I shook my head, laughing under my breath. “Never change, Zev. Never change.”

“And you?” Leliana leaned forward. “What are you going to do?”

My smile died and turned into a frown.

Morrigan had disappeared shortly after the battle had ended, at least that was what I was told. So, a close friend and my only real source of information on how to get home was gone. Wynne was going with Shale to Tventer to find out how to become human again, so she wasn’t an option.

I was still left without a clue as to how I got here or how to get back so I took a few days after the battle to think about what I planned on doing.

“I believe I’m going to travel. I still don’t know how to get home, so it’s best to learn about this world. Last night I threw a knife at a map and turns out I’m headed for Kirkwall soon. But first,” I grinned again, somewhat pleased with the last part of my plan, “I want to help the poorer parts of the city rebuild. There are ways to improve the layout and increase the health and happiness of the people. I want to do what I can if I can.”

Besides, I wouldn’t be able to stand near Elissa and Alistair without an extreme feeling of guilt. I had sorted out my most feelings, but now I felt bad for keeping them under lock and key. Childish notions, I know.

My family supported my plan and we all toasted to the future. It was a kind of dull toast. I wanted to be a little buzzed at the moment but I was stuck with water.

Still, I was content at that moment. I didn't even have to worry about anyone asking my theory on what had happened during the battle. Most people had chalked it up to the Archdemon dying, but a few of us knew otherwise. But, we kept the truth hidden. The less people who knew, the better.

* * *

I smiled and accepted the breastplate Elissa had given me.

It was made of dragonskin, according to the man who made it, and looked more like an armored shirt than anything.

“Did...did Leliana ask for this design?” I questioned, taking in the sight looking back at me in the mirror.

Elissa winced. “Was it that obvious? She asked me not to tell.”

I raised an eyebrow and ran my hands along my sides. The leather conformed to my body, supporting my breasts better than my bra and accented the curves into my hips, making it look like I had the actual body of a model instead of a normal figure. The etched designs were beautiful and matched the leggings I was given back in Orzammar.

“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “Yep, it's obvious. Still, thank you.”

My previous vest had managed to get damaged in my tumble with the...ogre, I think Elissa called it.

“Be careful. Kirkwall is...volatile and unpredictable,” she warned as we walked towards the docks.

We were to meet Alistar and Sten there. Sten was leaving to go home to Par Vollen, the homeland of the Qunari, and Alistair wanted to see us off along with Elissa.

The others of our mismatched family had already left, all of them leaving ways to get in contact with them if we needed to.

Just like Leliana had gifted me a new breastplate, Zevran had given me a set of throwing knives. Sten was kind enough to leave me with a handwritten book on the language of the Qunari, much like the Dalish had, only he made me promise to burn it afterward. I couldn’t tell if he was joking when he told me this, so I took him seriously.

“Thank you, once again, for helping the Alienage and other areas of the city. The plans and ideas you left with us will be put to great use,” Alistar stated as he hugged me.

I snorted and looked over at Elissa. “He’s already sounding like a king.”

She smiled and pulled me into her arms. “Remember, you will always have a home here.”

“Thank you,” I whispered and pulled back. I tugged my pack onto my back and wished Sten a safe journey before boarding my boat.

I wished I could have waved goodbye, but shortly after we left the dock, I had to lean over the edge of the boat.

Whether it was from the water or from the nerves of going to a place I had never been before and knew nothing about, my stomach churned like the ocean below.

I did manage to give a weak wave to my family as they waved back before leaving.

The start of a new adventure.

_And I’m going to spend it throwing up..._


End file.
